🔥🔥🔥 365 Worst Ahadith 🔥🔥🔥

 

Author's Message:

For 2018, I am counting down the 365 worst hadiths, ranked from least worst to absolute worst. This is our journey so far:

Talbe of Content: 

• Author's Message:
  • • Hadith 365: Muhammad’s “Unified Theory of Jinn”
    • Hadith 364: Muhammad commands ablution after eating camel meat since “they are from the devils”
    • Hadith 363: Muhammad receives revelation that he can sleep with anyone he wants + Aisha’s perfect response
    • Hadith 362: Muhammad calls children playing with a black woman “devils”
    • Hadith 361: Muhammad, a major slave-owner, gives tax benefits to slave ownership
    • Hadith 360: Muhammad asks to be protected from the evil of his clothes
    • Hadith 359: Muhammad says that Allah’s blessing is beamed from the sky into the dead center of your food. So do not, repeat DO NOT, start eating from the middle of your plate
    • Hadith 358: Muhammad says that if you come home and catch your wife having sex with another man, do not stop them. Instead, gather four men to witness the sex
    • Hadith 357: Muhammad says that a non-Muslim’s good deeds are worthless to Allah + The “huge fat man” analogy
    • Hadith 356: Didn’t pay zakat? Allah, All-Compassionate and All-Merciful, will burn you alive with plates of fire heated in Hell—for what will seem like 50,000 years. But that’s not all…
    • Hadith 355: Muhammad says that we are still at war with snakes. No peace treaty imminent
    • Hadith 354: Allah gives you 100 points for killing a gecko. Fallout 2 gives you 135 points
    • Hadith 353: No one goes to Heaven until the women of an extinct tribe worship an extinct idol
    • Hadith 352: Muhammad teaches a beautiful prayer: “I seek refuge from the evil of my semen”
    • Hadith 351: Muhammad says women in Heaven are as rare as a red-beaked crow
    • Hadith 350: Islam: Having a mortgage = haram. Having a sex slave = halal
    • Hadith 349: Muhammad says Angels curse any woman who denies her husband sex. Allah remains angry until husband is sexually pleased
    • Hadith 348: Muhammad’s terrorist attack on a house of worship during Ramadan
    • Hadith 347: Muhammad says Satan longs to sit on men’s hair buns—which are for the “buttocks of Satan”
    • Hadith 346: Islamic honor code
    • Hadith 345: Muhammad orders that you cannot, repeat CANNOT, put on a shoe while standing
    • Hadith 344: Muhammad has OCD
    • Hadith 343: Muhammad says Allah, the homophobe creator of the universe, will send all mannish women to Hell
    • Hadith 342: Muhammad, an expert hydrologist, says water never becomes impure. Fukushima residents remain skeptical
    • Hadith 341: Muhammad says (1) Satan is a musician who plays the bell, and (2) Muhammad receives the Revelation as the ringing of a bell. Hmmm
    • Hadith 340: To teach a lesson about submitting to a leader, Muhammad highlights blacks as the lowest human form
    • Hadith 339: Muhammad says nothing is more precious than praying against “the evil of sorceresses who blow incantations on knots”
    • Hadith 338: Muhammad says black dogs are devils and should all be killed
    • Hadith 337: Meet Muhammad’s black slave Anjasha + Women are like fragile glass (that you can beat)
    • Hadith 336: Muhammad creates direct financial incentive to kill non-Muslims
    • Hadith 335: Muhammad says the reason newborn babies cry is because they’re pricked by Satan
    • Hadith 334: Muhammad says sun rises and sets over Satan’s head between his horns (and how to reconcile with a round Earth)
    • Hadith 333: Muhammad says Jews envy Islam’s “salam” and “amen” (that Muhammad copied from Jews)
    • Hadith 332: Muhammad teaches the proper way to beat your slave
    • Hadith 331: Muhammad has woman breastfeed a grown man
    • Hadith 330: Muhammad says different races come from different colored dirt
    • Hadith 329: Muhammad says his black slave will be in Hell for stealing what Muhammad stole
    • Hadith 328: Muhammad angry that dying man freed too many slaves. Stops four of the six slaves from freedom
    • Hadith 327: The perks of being Muhammad’s child-bride
    • Hadith 326: Man gets hit drinking wine, complains to Muhammad. Allah then bans alcohol to all of humanity for eternity
    • Hadith 325: Muhammad says memorizing Quran is key to Heaven. Colossal waste of humanity’s brainpower ensues
    • Hadith 324: Muhammad says Satan eats your food. Yes, human food
    • Hadith 323: Muhammad says Allah—when He turned Jews into monkeys and pigs—made them infertile. So today’s monkeys and pigs are not, REPEAT NOT, descendants of Jews
    • Hadith 322: Muhammad teaches words that, if recited seven times, will always cure a disease. Surprise, it doesn’t work
    • Hadith 321: Islam: You are not related to your first cousin, but you are related to your nursemaid’s husband’s brother
    • Hadith 320: Muhammad says angels pray for you unless you fart
    • Hadith 319: Muhammad dreams of a black woman. Says she represents a traveling plague
    • Hadith 318: Muhammad says if you touch your penis, you must rinse your mouth
    • Hadith 317: Muhammad, “a mercy to the worlds,” refuses to wish mercy on non-Muslims
    • Hadith 316: Muhammad says a woman can’t fast without husband’s permission. The reason is she needs to always be ready for sex
    • Hadith 315: Muhammad says that girl’s urine is worse than boy’s urine
    • Hadith 314: Muhammad annoyed with lingering guests. “Allah” immediately forbids guests from lingering and annoying him
    • Hadith 313: Muhammad says buying a dog is as bad as prostitution
    • Hadith 312: Muhammad says playing backgammon is like dipping your hand in the flesh and blood of a pig
    • Hadith 311: Culture pioneer Muhammad says it is better to be filled with pus than with poetry
    • Hadith 310: Muhammad tells men to fast—in order to repress their libido
    • Hadith 309: Muhammad tells his own wife: “May you become barren and shaven-headed”
    • Hadith 308: Muhammad, the homophobe prophet, says Muslims will face destruction if they accept gay relationships
    • Hadith 307: Muhammad says Allah gives more blessings to the right side of the prayer row
    • Hadith 306: Muhammad says that the virgins of Paradise wear 70 layers of see-through clothes
    • Hadith 305: When entering the toilet, pray for Allah’s protection from toilet-prowling devils. After going to the toilet, pray for Allah’s forgiveness
    • Hadith 304: Muhammad says a talking neck of Fire will terrorize artists on the Day of Judgment
    • Hadith 303: “Why, don’t you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?”
    • Hadith 302: Muhammad reveals laughable seven deadly sins of Islam. Includes fleeing the battlefield, sorcery and banking
    • Hadith 301: Muhammad says Friday was always Allah’s commanded holy day. But Jews and Christians, apparently insane, told Allah they refuse to do Friday
    • HOTD 300: Muhammad says in Heaven you will eat enormous birds that look like fluffy camels
    • HOTD 299: The perks of being Muhammad’s child-bride: Part 2
    • HOTD 298: Muhammad says the End of the World will come when a black man destroys the Kaba
    • HOTD 297: "Defensive" jihad: Part 1—The Battle of Khaibar
    • HOTD 296: Muhammad says you can literally see the bones of the virgins of Paradise through their flesh
    • HOTD 295: Muhammad says he was going to tie up a demon and show it off to everyone—proving his prophethood—but then conveniently doesn’t do it
    • HOTD 294: Muhammad was going to grab grapes from Heaven to bring back to Earth—proving his prophethood—but then conveniently doesn’t do it (and what acting!)
    • HOTD 293: Muhammad says he can turn a mountain into gold—proving his prophethood—but then conveniently doesn’t do it
    • HOTD 292: Muhammad explains who angels avoid. And it includes him!
    • HOTD 291: “Defensive” jihad, Part 2: the Attack on Banu Mustaliq
    • HOTD 290: Muhammad gives laughable excuse for not participating in his own battles—then overcompensates defending laughable excuse
    • HOTD 289: Muhammad says women should not go outside. It is best they stay in “the innermost part of their houses”
    • HOTD 288: Even the victim thinks Muhammad is barbaric for cutting off the thief’s hand
    • HOTD 287: Muhammad says in Hell, Allah burns sinful Muslims into coal. The burnt coal is then sent to Heaven and spread on river banks where people water it. The Muslims “sprout like seeds” from this wet coal
    • HOTD 286: Muhammad finds excuse to dye hair. FYI Muhammad: Jews and Christians also don’t wear nose rings
    • HOTD 285: Muhammad says award competitions are allowed only for activities that promote killing non-Muslims (i.e., jihad)
    • HOTD 284: Muhammad says many men have become perfect, but only two women
    • HOTD 283: Good Friday: Jesus has a body-double crucified. The disciples murder one another. Allah deceives world for 600 years
    • HOTD 282: Muhammad says the Dajjal (Antichrist) has “Kafir” written between his eyes. Six year-old boys laugh at the corniness
    • HOTD 281: Muhammad says Allah rejects your prayers if you fart—until you wash your feet
    • HOTD 280: Muhammad says to wipe your butt an odd number of times
    • HOTD 279: Celebrated dog-hater Muhammad says Allah gives daily demerits for keeping a dog, reducing your chance of going to Heaven
    • HOTD 278: Muhammad says he’s entitled to 20% of war booty for himself + a share for himself + a special portion for himself
    • HOTD 277: Muhammad says drinking the fat of a sheep’s tail cures sciatica. Okay, let’s do a double blind clinical study on it. If untrue, Muhammad is a false prophet
    • HOTD 276: Muhammad says it’s more important to hide your naked body from Allah—even when alone—than from other people
    • HOTD 275: Muhammad likens women to donkeys and dogs
    • HOTD 274: Muhammad teaches important religious lesson: hold your penis and wipe your butt with left hand + Bonus lesson on how to drink
    • HOTD 273: Muhammad says—if you recite a prayer three times—no poisonous scorpion sting can harm you. Okay, let’s test this with 100 Deathstalker scorpions
    • HOTD 272: Muhammad says Allah rejects the prayer of any woman He sees with exposed hair
    • HOTD 271: FGM and singing. . is Sunna. One is Satanic
    • HOTD 270: Muhammad “a mercy to the worlds” has his crew wildly beat a man who drank wine
    • HOTD 269: Muhammad says that—on the Day of Resurrection—Allah will pour water on the Earth, causing everyone to re-sprout from their buried tailbones + Islamic science: tailbones do not decay
    • HOTD 268: “Muhammad: the Best of All Husbands” divorces Hafsa (after Hafsa reveals his “secret” that she caught him having sex with his slave in Hafsa’s bed)
    • HOTD 267: Muhammad, a man who uses hair dye, asks Allah to curse women with hair extensions
    • HOTD 266: Muhammad’s senior Companions state the Quran bans singing
    • HOTD 265: Ali rapes a slave-girl. Muhammad says he is entitled to it
    • HOTD 264: Muhammad says when you get a new wife or animal, hold her by the forelock and pray to Allah for protection from her evil
    • HOTD 263: Muhammad reveals the exact lyrics to be sung by virgin houris to their husbands in Heaven: ♫ “We’re the beautiful houris, given to noble husbands” ♫
    • HOTD 262: Where women should pray—Part 1
    • HOTD 261: Muhammad says women should pray—instead of in the mosque—in the most secluded, innermost part of their houses—effectively their walk-in closets
    • HOTD 260: Muhammad orders large-scale beat down of women. In one night, 70 beaten women complain to Muhammad’s wives, causing him to back down
    • HOTD 259: Muhammad says ajwa fruit dates are from Heaven and cure poisoning. Muhammad dies of poisoning
    • HOTD 258: Muhammad says the Jews were destroyed because their women used hair extensions
    • HOTD 257: Muhammad commands people be burned alive. Changes mind, says burning people is reserved for Allah. Orders different killing method instead
    • HOTD 256: Muhammad proudly proclaims he is the first to revive Allah’s command to stone adulterers. Orders man stoned to death
    • HOTD 255: Muhammad identifies the source of a smelly wind: Hypocrites slandering Muslims
    • HOTD 254: Muhammad says to lick your fingers—or have others lick your fingers—after eating. Your fingers must be licked because Allah’s blessing might be in food particles there
    • HOTD 253: Muhammad says if you see a person praise another, throw dust in his face
    • HOTD 252: Muhammad says, in Hell, Allah will burn Muslims to a crisp except their foreheads. The unburnt foreheads will allow Angels to distinguish Muslims from infidels, and then transport Muslims to Heaven
    • HOTD 251: Muhammad says “Allah loves sneezing but dislikes yawning” and yawning "is from Satan.” Satan laughs at you when you yawn
    • HOTD 250: Muhammad says touching a woman is worse than being stabbed in the head with an iron needle
    • HOTD 249: Muhammad’s opinion on ☪☮℮✡☥☯✝
    • HOTD 248: Muhammad says angels at his mosque hate the smell of onions—so he bans onion-eaters from mosque. “Coincidentally,” Muhammad hates the smell of onions
    • HOTD 247: Muhammad says—if you pray after cleaning your teeth—an angel will put his mouth against yours and directly ingest into his stomach the words you recite from the Quran
    • HOTD 246: Muhammad says Allah—who knows everything—will give the Black Stone a mouth and eyes to inform Allah who touched it sincerely
    • HOTD 245: Muhammad says jihadis are guaranteed Heaven + they will be resurrected bleeding proudly and profusely—with blood smelling of musk
    • HOTD 244: When you have so much lunacy and hate to express—but only ten Arabic words to do it in
    • HOTD 243: Muhammad massacres the dogs in Medina
    • HOTD 242: Muhammad sees attractive woman. Gets horny. Releases sexual frustration on cousin-wife. Calls the attractive woman a devil
    • HOTD 241: Muhammad says when you have a fever caused by witchcraft, the cure is to sprinkle water on yourself for three nights
    • HOTD 240: Muhammad says ants—upon being resurrected from the dead—will settle the score with ants who wronged them. Then Allah will obliterate the ants into dust. Non-Muslims will only wish they were so lucky
    • HOTD 239: Muhammad asks Allah to curse women who pluck their eyebrows, saying they “change the creation of Allah.” Apparently, mutilating a woman's clitoris is not “changing the creation of Allah”
    • HOTD 238: Muhammad says angels stand at the mosque gate on Friday—papers in hand—taking attendance, recording everyone’s order of arrival. The angels then fold their papers to listen to the sermon
    • HOTD 237: Stick your fingers in your ears when you hear any music. It's Sunna
    • HOTD 236: Muhammad denies a slave his freedom, saying Allah has no need for a freed slave
    • HOTD 235: Muhammad says women are the MOST HARMFUL tribulation to men—apparently worse than war
    • HOTD 234: When a narcissist explains who is the “greatest miser”
    • HOTD 233: Muhammad says you’ll go to Hell for not sending blessings upon Muhammad whenever Muhammad is mentioned
    • HOTD 232: Women’s rights in Islam: You have the right to not be hit in the face
    • HOTD 231: Muhammad says on the Day of Resurrection, Allah will trick thirsty Jews and Christians by leading them to a mirage—causing them to fall into Hellfire + Jews worship Ezra
    • HOTD 230: Virgin houris are ashamed when jihadis show cowardice—“So crush the faces of the enemy, and do not let down the wide-eyed houris” + martyrs wear 100 layers of clothes
    • HOTD 229: Muhammad says to not beat your wife like you beat your slave—for you might have sex with her that night + Don’t laugh at farts
    • HOTD 228: Muhammad says martyrs want to be killed ten more times because martyrdom (being a green bird) is so awesome
    • HOTD 227: Muhammad says dwellers of Hell are fire-breathing people (similar to Scorpion in Mortal Kombat). Just one of them can incinerate an enormous mosque on Earth
    • HOTD 226: Muhammad sells two black slaves—for a more valuable, non-black slave
    • HOTD 225: Muhammad says Muslims get white angels and non-Muslims get black angels. And all angels ask the black angels about the non-Muslim: “Who is this evil soul?”
    • HOTD 224: To teach a lesson about submitting to a leader, Muhammad highlights mutilated black slaves as the lowest human form
    • HOTD 223: Muhammad curses effeminate men and mannish women—and tells Muslims to kick them out of their houses
    • HOTD 222: Muhammad classes runaway slaves in the group of people most condemned
    • HOTD 221: Israelites claim Moses has a scrotal hernia. A stone steals a naked Moses’ clothes. A naked Moses chases the thieving stone and beats up the stone. Thus Moses shows he has no scrotal hernia
    • HOTD 220: Muhammad says whenever you pass by the grave of a non-Muslim, give him the tidings of Hell
    • HOTD 219: Muhammad says for each enemy you shoot, Allah raises you one degree in Heaven
    • HOTD 218: (Theory 1): Master geneticist Muhammad says a child will resemble the parent whose sexual discharge dominates
    • HOTD 217: (Theory 2): Master geneticist Muhammad says a child will resemble the parent whose sexual discharge comes first
    • HOTD 216: (Theory 3): Master geneticist Muhammad says a child’s gender is of the parent whose sexual discharge dominates + Jew gets shoved hard + Bulls are slaughtered in Heaven
    • HOTD 216-218 supplement: Islam’s Unified Theory of Genetics
    • HOTD 215: Muhammad says Israelites raised a dead man from his grave. The dead man complains that they interrupted his prayers
    • HOTD 214: Muhammad says in Hell, Allah will make non-Muslims huge—with body parts the size of mountains. This is in order to maximize the torture from burning
    • HOTD 213: Muhammad says about crying women who lost their loved one in jihad: “Go and throw sand in their mouths”
    • HOTD 212: Muhammad says deeds are shown to Allah twice daily—no, wait, semiweekly—no, wait, annually…The tragic tale of a prophet who couldn’t get his story straight
    • HOTD 211: Muhammad says Moses gets lost because he didn’t know to carry Joseph’s bones. Moses digs up the bones—and the bones generate a dazzling light on the correct route out of Egypt
    • HOTD 210: Muhammad says Adam saw his penis for the first time after sinning. This startles him, causing him to try to escape from Paradise. But then a talking tree grabs him, foiling his escape
    • HOTD 209: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#1: Freeing a slave
    • HOTD 208: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#2: Aqiqah (animal sacrifice for a newborn)
    • HOTD 207: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#3: Testimony
    • HOTD 206: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#4: Inheritance
    • Quran’s Mathematical Errors in Inheritance
    • HOTD 205: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#5: Blood money
    • HOTD 204: Muhammad says people in Heaven have a weekly Friday gathering with Allah where Allah gives extra food & drink and clothes + Virgin houris live in rooms made of green emeralds and red rubies
    • HOTD 203: Muhammad explains how Islam is the Religion of Peace and only defensive jihad is allowed (/s)
    • HOTD 202: Muhammad quotes Allah’s exact words—“A guarantee from Me”—promising war booty or Paradise to all jihadis
    • HOTD 201: Muhammad says if you keep a horse for jihad, Allah will reward you every time your jihadi horse defecates
    • HOTD 200: Muhammad: Don’t steal what I stole!
    • HOTD 199: Muhammad says he's special because Allah lets him—and no other prophet—have war booty
    • HOTD 198: Muhammad forbids attacking non-Muslims…in the early morning
    • HOTD 197: Muhammad: Let me “invite you to Islam.” If you decline my invitation, then I will kill you or extort you
    • HOTD 196: Muhammad says Allah will blind you if you look up during prayer. 1400 years later and it’s never happened
    • HOTD 195: Muhammad explains the best-case scenario for a non-Muslim: You will be in Hell wearing shoes of fire that will cause your brain to boil
    • HOTD 194: Muhammad says the evil eye is the second leading cause of death among Muslims
    • HOTD 193: Muhammad explains the cure for the evil eye: The envier takes a bath and his used bath water is collected and poured over the victim
    • HOTD 192: Muhammad hears a noise. Says it’s a stone falling in Hell for 70 years that finally hit the bottom
    • HOTD 192 supplement: Muhammad says a stone the weight of 7 pregnant camels would take 70 years to fall to bottom of Hell
    • HOTD 191: Muhammad on integration: “Be sincere to the Muslim, and disassociate from the non-Muslim”
    • HOTD 190: Muhammad says Allah hates people and tells Gabriel to hate them too. Gabriel then spreads Allah’s hate for the people through heaven and earth
    • HOTD 189: Muhammad says Islam demands “enmity for the sake of Allah” and “hatred for the sake of Allah”
    • HOTD 188: Muhammad tells a woman—beaten to the point her skin is green—to have sex with her wife-beating husband. Aisha says “I have not seen any woman suffer as much as the believing women”
    • HOTD 187: Muhammad lets his 9 year-old wife—who he deflowered—still play with dolls with her friends
    • HOTD 186: Muhammad says urine is #1 reason for punishment in the grave
    • HOTD 185: Muhammad explains Islamic culture
    • HOTD 184: Meet Munkar and Nakir: the two angels who interrogate you in the grave. They give Muslims a spacious and bright 11,000 sq ft grave. They give Hypocrites and non-Muslims a grave that crushes their ribs
    • HOTD 183: Muhammad says if you ask an improper question, Allah will make Sharia harsher for everyone. And you will be the greatest sinner. (Message: Don’t ask questions!)
    • HOTD 182: Muhammad warns that Allah will turn you into a monkey or pig if you deny predestination. But wait…Allah predestined you to deny it!
    • HOTD 181: Hajj Part I: Muhammad copies the pagan Hajj rituals of running between the hills and shaving the head
      • • • 1. Running between the hills of al-Safa and al-Marwah
          • 2. Shaving the head
    • HOTD 180: Hajj Part II: Muhammad copies the pagan Hajj practice of circumambulating the House of Saturn—oops, I mean House of Allah—seven times
    • HOTD 179: Muhammad oversells Hajj: 100,000 sins are forgiven when you shave your head. 49 murders are forgiven when you stone the pillars. Says Hajj prayers are as great as freeing an Arab (!) slave
    • HOTD 178: Muhammad says Indian aloeswood cures pleurisy and six (!) other diseases. Okay, let’s do a double blind clinical study on it. If untrue, Muhammad is a false prophet
    • HOTD 177: Muhammad says the Muslims who invade India are guaranteed Heaven. One of history’s worst massacres ensues
    • HOTD 176: Umar is afraid of the future—a future without stoning + the forgotten Verse of Stoning
    • HOTD 175: Umar divorces new wife when he discovers she has some grey hair. Says “A mat in a house is better than a woman who cannot bear children”
    • HOTD 174: Muhammad says all animals hear dead humans speak in their coffins
    • HOTD 173: Muhammad says drinking standing up is even worse than drinking with a cat. It’s like drinking with Satan! So vomit it out
    • HOTD 172: Muhammad says artists—not sex slave owners, not child molesters, not murderers—will be “the most severely punished” by Allah
    • HOTD 171: Muhammad says the "most virtuous charity" is slave labor for Jihad
    • HOTD 170: “The angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or an image”
    • HOTD 169: Muhammad says archangel Gabriel didn’t visit because of a puppy in his house. Muhammad then orders all dogs be killed: the Medina dog massacre
    • HOTD 168: Muhammad “a mercy to the worlds” commands the killing of people who drink wine four times
    • HOTD 167: Muhammad: This one weird trick stops genies from staring at your genitalia. Devils hate him
    • HOTD 166: Muhammad says the illegitimate child is more evil than the parents. A Companion says he would rather donate a whip than free an illegitimate child-slave
    • HOTD 165: Muhammad says the End of the World has begun. …1400 years later, still nothing
    • HOTD 164: Muhammad—who deflowers a child—says a child is “mutilated” when raised Jewish or Christian. Says every child is born Muslim
    • HOTD #164 Supplement : “Islam is always superior and can never be surpassed”—except in women’s rights, children’s rights, advancement of the arts and sciences, economic development, sustaining peace, etc. …
    • HOTD 163: Muhammad has woman breastfeed a grown man. Aisha then orders her nieces to breastfeed adult men
    • HOTD 162: Muhammad says fish pray to Allah—seeking forgiveness for Islamic scholars
    • HOTD 161: Muhammad says Allah allows all "Arabian" horses to pray at 5 am + The exact words of the horse prayer
    • HOTD 160: Muhammad says Allah gives only 50% credit for prayers performed sitting. He then gets caught praying while sitting. He justifies: “Yes, but I am not like any one of you”
    • HOTD 159: While married to nine women, Muhammad—believing polygamy would hurt his own daughter—won’t let Ali marry another woman
    • HOTD 158: Muhammad—who at age 52 deflowered his 9-year-old wife—stops men younger than that from marrying his teenage daughter because “she is young”
    • HOTD 157: Muhammad orders a man killed—on no evidence—for having sex with Muhammad’s sex slave. It turns out he is a eunuch and has no penis
    • HOTD 156: Muhammad says he’s exempt from ablution after sleep because he—unlike everyone else—is aware of his nighttime farts. He explains: “My eyes sleep but my heart does not sleep”
    • HOTD 155: Muhammad says shooting stars are missiles shot at devils in the sky who are trying to overhear Allah’s revelation: Part 1
    • HOTD 154: Muhammad says shooting stars are missiles shot at devils in the sky who are trying to overhear Allah’s revelation: Part 2
    • HOTD 153: Muhammad says every Friday, all animals fear the End of the World is upon us. Their fear subsides once the sun rises (in the east 😉)
    • HOTD 152: 💘 Romance by Muhammad 💘: I (1) murdered your husband, (2) let a jihadi make you his sex slave, (3) saw how hot you are, so reclaimed you from the jihadi, (4) “married” you before we even got home, (5) didn’t pay you a dower because not making you a sex slave is your dower
    • HOTD 151: Ignorant of both past and future, Muhammad says “No people will ever prosper who appoint a woman as their leader.” All hail: Queen Hatshepsut, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great
    • HOTD 150: A war captive about to be killed by Muhammad asks “Who will look after my children?” Muhammad responds “The Fire”
    • HOTD 149: Umar threatens Muhammad’s wives “It may be if he divorced you that Allah will give him instead of you, wives better than you.” Umar then meets with Muhammad, and "Allah" puts Umar’s exact words into the Qur’an (66:5)
    • HOTD: The Real Housewives of Medina
    • HOTD 148: Muhammad says: 1) A fly carries disease on one wing and the cure on the other, 2) The fly lands in your drink specifically with its disease-carrying wing, 3) You must dunk the whole fly in to get the cure
    • HOTD 147: Muhammad tells man he’ll have a winged horse made of rubies to fly him around in Heaven
    • HOTD 146: Muhammad says he’s competing against other prophets for the most followers—and thus infertile women aren’t deserving of marriage
    • HOTD 145: Muhammad believes mice are transmuted Jews
    • HOTD 144: Muhammad says lizards may be transmuted Jews, so he doesn’t eat them
    • HOTD 143: Guess which hadith on “the greater jihad” is authentic and which is fabricated
    • HOTD 142: 🎵 Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I got camel urine in my tummy 🎵
    • HOTD 141: Muhammad blinds mankind with the light of divine wisdom: If 💩 then 🐪 🍺
    • HOTD 140: Muhammad says when you yawn, Satan enters your open mouth and then laughs at you from inside your body
    • HOTD 139: Muhammad stones to death a new mom because her child is illegitimate
    • HOTD 138: Muhammad says violent jihad is better than anything in the world
    • HOTD 137: Muhammad prays for Ibn Abbas to correctly interpret the Qur'an. Ibn Abbas then says the earth is spread over the back of a whale
    • HOTD 136: Muhammad says when a Muslim dies, his soul is perfumed with musk and placed in a shroud of white silk. Non-Muslims are put in a sackcloth and made to smell like rotting flesh
    • HOTD 135: Muhammad says when a non-Muslim dies, Allah has an angel bludgeon him with an iron sledgehammer. The beating and screams are heard by every animal on earth
    • HOTD 134: Muhammad says the Anti-Christ is currently alive, on earth, enchained in a monastery on an island “in the east.” He shares the island with a beast resembling Cousin Itt of the Addams Family
    • HOTD 133: Early Muslims discuss fondling and penetrating their new prepubescent sex slaves
    • HOTD 133 Supplement: Ten hadiths on sex slavery
    • HOTD 132: Muhammad says non-menstrual vaginal bleeding is caused by Satan kicking the woman’s womb
    • HOTD 131: 😈 → 😣💨 Muhammad says Satan gently coaxes you—‘as a man softly coaxes an animal’— to trick you into farting
    • HOTD 130: Umar sees slave-girl wearing hijab and he lashes her in the head with a whip
    • HOTD 129: Muhammad says you better be afraid of Allah turning your head into a donkey’s head. 1400 years later and it’s never happened…or has it... 😲
    • HOTD 129 Supplement: Fath al-Bari commentary on donkey-head hadith + 4 fun and exciting hidden sentences
    • HOTD 128: Ali chops off man’s hand—and makes him wear it as a necklace
    • HOTD 127: Muhammad says Allah creates people for Hell by whacking Adam’s left shoulder! Allah then tells them—before they’ve done anything—‘For the Fire, and I don’t mind’ 😧🔥
    • HOTD 126: World History: 🧞 Genies ruled earth for 2,000 years then Allah had warrior angels chase them away to the sea, then Allah installed humans as new earth rulers
    • HOTD 125: Muhammad wages war on laughter, ‘for much laughter kills the heart’ 😄 → �?💔�?
    • HOTD 124: O Muslim women, Rejoice! In Heaven, you’re with your husband who’s ‘busy deflowering virgins’—and you’ll be so happy for him 😊
    • HOTD 123: Rich cowards rejoice as Muhammad reaches peak stupidity. Says paying someone to do jihad for you gets you more reward than doing jihad yourself. Ibn Umar denounces it 🤦
    • HOTD 122: Ibn Umar goes to Islamic slave market shopping for a sex slave. He gropes sex slave and he’s ready to buy and rape her—but he can’t find her seller anywhere. Ugh, it’s so annoying!
    • HOTD 121: Muhammad goes on cursing spree and unleashes homophobic TRIPLE curse on gay men. Men who have sex with livestock get only one curse
    • HOTD 120: Muhammad makes Islam a supremacist ideology. Says Muslims can’t be killed for murdering a non-Muslim. Values non-Muslims at 50% of Muslims
    • HOTD 119: Flat-earther Muhammad tells Muslims not to pray at noon because that’s the time of day Hell’s gates are opened—except it’s always noon somewhere on Earth!
    • HOTD 118: Muhammad approves of Abu Bakr telling pagan to ‘Suck Allat’s clitoris!’ This is equivalent to telling a Muslim ‘Suck Allah’s penis!’
    • HOTD 117: Muhammad says an hour of jihad is better than 60 years (!) of prayer + Osama bin Laden quotes this hadith before 9/11
    • HOTD 116: Muhammad says if a grieving woman wails, Allah will pour tar on her and light her on fire 😭 → 🔥😱🔥
    • HOTD 116 Supplement: Allah’s torture porn
    • HOTD 115: Muhammad says Satan wants peace and Allah wants bloodshed. Says peace-loving Satan urges Muslims not to attack others…wait…Who’s the Evil One in Islam? 🤔
    • HOTD 114: Muhammad’s insanity level tops 9000. Says whenever a rooster crows, it saw an angel. 👼 → 🐓🔊 And whenever a donkey brays, it saw a devil
    • HOTD 113: O Muslim women Rejoice! Meet your co-wives in Heaven: the virgin houris. Muhammad says they mock and curse you for annoying your husband. You’ll be living with them for eternity
    • HOTD 112: Muhammad says Allah curses for eternity the sound of...wife-beatings?...holocausts?...No, it’s ‘singing at times of joy’!
    • HOTD 111: Muhammad says sneaky Satan spends the night in your nose
    • HOTD 110: Muhammad believes a talking wolf brags about him. Talking wolf says Muhammad’s more amazing than…a talking wolf! 🐺
    • HOTD 109: O horny Jihadis, how are you going to have sex with virgins if you’re a green bird? And Muhammad, get your bloody story straíght! (see comment)
    • HOTD 108: Black man complains of being black. Muhammad urges him to be a Jihadi—getting him killed—and tells corpse ‘Allah has whitened your face’ + Virgin visits Earth
    • HOTD 107: Ali rapes a slave-girl. Muhammad says he's entitled to it. Part 2
    • HOTD 107 Supplement: It was the regular practice of Muhammad’s Companions to rape prepubescent slave-girls
    • HOTD 106: O Muslim women Rejoice! In Heaven you’re in a harem. You and your harem-mates live in a giant hollowed-out pearl (!)—and your husband circles round the pearl having sex with you all
    • HOTD 105: Muhammad explains human excrement in Heaven. Food is belched out. Drinks are sweated out as musk cologne…eau de ‘toilette,’ so to speak 😉
    • HOTD 104: Muhammad says the black seed cures EVERY disease. Verily are not his words the grandest miracle! Because he said them on Opposite Day
    • HOTD 103: Praise be to Allah for sublime morals of the Islamic slave market! 🤗 Ibn Umar gropes sex slave he wants to buy and rape. He grabs her butt, shakes her breasts, and slips hand between her thighs
    • HOTD 102: The Night Journey: (1) Muhammad steals Zoroastrian story. (2) Rides flying donkey. (3) Commits worst Shirk imaginable. (4) Copies Zoroastrian 5 daily prayers (See comment)
    • HOTD 102 Supplement: Muhammad’s Greatest Fanfiction: The Night Journey on the Flying Donkey—summarized here for your reading ecstasy
    • Halloween Supplement: Man uses toothstick in anus and is made pregnant by Allah and gives birth to rat having a fish head and rabbit butt
    • HOTD 101: Camel urine’s the aperitif. 🐪🍸 The entrée is Muhammad gouging out their eyes and cutting off their hands and feet + Laughable self-serving ‘revelation’ (5:33)
    • HOTD 101 Supplement: Qur’an mistakes a rabbi’s interpretation of Cain & Abel for the actual story. ✡️ Oy vey!
    • HOTD 100: Muhammad puts grandson in lap, and starts kissing him while putting his tongue in his mouth, saying ‘I love him, so love him!’
    • HOTD 99: Muhammad promises Heaven if you kill a non-Muslim. In the vile chapter: ‘The Virtue of Killing an Infidel’
    • HOTD 98: Ali murders an apostate—a harmless old man—chopping his head off. 😀🗡️🤪 Islam’s barbarity should be laughable fiction. Unfortunately, this is real life

 

Hadith 365: Muhammad’s “Unified Theory of Jinn”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #365 Sahih Ibn Hibban 6156 Narrated Abu Tha'labah al-Khushani: I heard the Messenger of Allah say, "The jinn are of three types: those who are dogs and snakes, those who fly in the air, and those who come and go (on land)." Classed sahih by al-Albani and qawi (strong) by al-Arna'ut

 

Arab pagans believed in a separate civilization of invisible, mischievous creatures living on Earth called jinn, i.e., genies. Muhammad took this pagan belief and incorporated it into Islam.

Muhammad’s twist is that he incorporates two of his most hated animals—dogs and snakes—into the jinn species. Apparently, Allah had jinn miraculously cross a dimensional plane, transcend their “smokeless fire” nature, become visible and corporeal…only to become dogs and snakes.

Another possibility is that Muhammad made it all up.

• Hadith #365: Sahih Ibn Hibban 6156. Classed sahih by al-Albani and qawi (strong) by al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 364: Muhammad commands ablution after eating camel meat since “they are from the devils”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith-of-the-Day #364 Sunan Abu Dawud 184 184. Al-Bara' bin Azib said: "The Messenger of Allah was asked about performing Wudu' after eating camel meat. He replied: 'Perform Wudu' from it.' He was then asked about goat meat, and he replied, 'Do not perform Wudu' from it.' He was asked about praying in camel pens, so he replied: 'Do not pray in camel pens, since they are from the Shayātīn.' He was then asked about praying in goat pens, to which he replied: 'Pray in them, for they are blessed."" Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut Comments: The meat of a camel is lawful. Yet the Messenger of Allah () has ordered the one who eats it to perform Wudu'. As for the wisdom behind this, Allāh knows best.

 

So eating camel meat requires purification, but drinking camel urine, and all the toxins in it, does not.

This hadith is a perfect example of the arbitrariness of what Muhammad deems halal and haram. Ibn Taymiyya explains: “If a person performs wudu after eating camel meat, that will extinguish the satanic energy.” But then shouldn’t this “satanic energy” also be in the camel’s urine and milk (which Muhammad instructs us to drink and for which he requires no wudu)?

Of course, we all know the standard answer to Muhammad’s inconsistencies: “Allah knows best.”

• Hadith #364: Sunan Abu Dawud 184. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut. See also Sunan Ibn Majah 769.

 

Hadith 363: Muhammad receives revelation that he can sleep with anyone he wants + Aisha’s perfect response

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #363 Sahih al-Bukhari 4788 4788. Narrated 'Aishah: I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah's Messenger and I used to say, "Can a lady give herself (to a man)?" But when Allah revealed: "You (O Muḥammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive whom you will. And whomsoever you desire of those whom you have set aside (her turn temporarily) it is no sin on you (to receive her again)..." (V.33:51) I said (to the Prophet), "I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this hadith, Aisha gets her first inkling that Muhammad may be a charlatan. Muhammad records a remarkably self-serving revelation (Quran 33:51) from Allah. In His eternal message to mankind, Allah declares to humanity that:

1. Muhammad can marry any woman that offers herself to him, and

2. Muhammad can spend the night, i.e. have sex, with any wife he wants (rather than cycle through his wives in order)

Muhammad’s revelations are often exceptionally self-serving, and Aisha’s quote is perhaps the perfect summary of the science of Asbab al-Nuzul (reasons for revelation).

• Hadith #363: Sahih al-Bukhari 4788. For v. 33:51 exegesis, see Tafsir al-Tabari and Tafsir Ibn Kathir.

 

Hadith 362: Muhammad calls children playing with a black woman “devils”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #362 Jami al-Tirmidhi 3691 3691. 'Aishah narrated that the Messenger of Allah was sitting and we heard a scream and the voices of children. So the Messenger of Allah arose, and it was an Ethiopian woman, prancing around while the children played around her. So he said: 'O 'Aishah, come (and) see.' So I came, and I put my chin upon the shoulder of the Messenger of Allāh and I began to watch her from between his shoulder and his head, and he said to me: 'Have you had enough, have you had enough?”” She said: "So I kept saying: 'No,' to see my status with him. Then 'Umar appeared." She said: "So they dispersed." She said: "So the Messenger of Allah Allah said: 'Indeed I see the Shayaṭin among men and jinn have run from 'Umar.' She said: 'So I returned."" Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna'ut

 

So Muhammad saw children innocently playing—the simple joy of childhood—and calls them devils. He also says that he saw invisible devil jinn playing along with them—the human and jinn devils all being led by a black woman.

His remark is unintelligent and malevolent.

And notice that whenever Muhammad says he sees jinn, i.e., genies, he reports it after the fact, as in this hadith after the jinn have already run away. This prevents anyone from saying to Muhammad, “Hey, where are these jinn you see? I don’t see anything.” (In fact, his jinn sightings are almost exclusively when he is alone.)

• Hadith #362: Jami al-Tirmidhi 3691. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 361: Muhammad, a major slave-owner, gives tax benefits to slave ownership

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #361 Sahih al-Bukhari 1464 (46) CHAPTER. No Zakat is imposed on the slave belonging to a Muslim. 1464. Narrated Abu Hurairaha: The Prophet said, "There is no Zakāt either on a slave or on a horse belonging to a Muslim." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Fun fact: Despite zakat being Islam’s third pillar, there is no record of Muhammad ever paying it.

• Hadith #361: Sahih al-Bukhari 1464.

 

Hadith 360: Muhammad asks to be protected from the evil of his clothes

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #360 Sunan Abu Dawud 4020 Chapter 1. [What Is To Be Said When Putting On A New Garment] 4020. It was narrated from Ibn Al- Mubarak, from Al-Jurairi, from Abū Nadrah, from Abu Sa'eed Al- Khudri who said: "When the Messenger of Allāh put on a new garment, he would mention it by name, whether it was a Qamiş or an 'Imāmah,[1] then he would say: 'Allahumma lakal-ḥamdu, anta kasawtainihi, as'aluka min khairihi wa khairi mă șuni'a lahu, wa a'udhu bika min sharrihi wa sharri mā şuni'a lahu (O Allah, to You be praise, You have clothed me with it. I ask You for its good and the good of that for which it was made, and I seek refuge in You from its evil and the evil of that for which it was made.)"" Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna'ut

 

Sounds more like Jahiliyya superstition than prophethood.

And now millions of Muslims recite this dua after buying a new t-shirt. “O Grey T-shirt! Allahumma lakal…”

• Hadith #360: Sunan Abu Dawud 4020. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 359: Muhammad says that Allah’s blessing is beamed from the sky into the dead center of your food. So do not, repeat DO NOT, start eating from the middle of your plate

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #359 Jami al-Tirmidhi 1805 Chapter 12. What Has Been Related About It Being Disliked To Eat From The Middle Of The Food 1805. Ibn 'Abbas narrated that the said: "Indeed the Prophet blessing descends to the middle of the food, so eat from its edges, and do not eat from its middle." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut Comments: Blessing is a phenomenon hidden to the naked eye. The Messenger of Allah was aware of it. It was on the basis of this knowledge that he informed the Companions that the blessing descends in the middle of the food, and then spreads to the edges. Diners must, therefore, avoid the middle and eat from the edges so that the blessing continues to descend on the middle.

 

But what if I’m eating a donut?

• Hadith #359: Jami al-Tirmidhi 1805. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arnaut.

 

Hadith 358: Muhammad says that if you come home and catch your wife having sex with another man, do not stop them. Instead, gather four men to witness the sex

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #358 Sunan Abu Dawud 4533 4533. It was narrated from Malik, from Suhail bin Abi Ṣāliḥ, from his father, from Abu Hurairah, that Sa'd bin 'Ubadah said to the Messenger of Allah: "Do you think that if I find a man with my wife, I should give him time until I bring four witnesses?" He said: "Yes." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

This hadith highlights the lunacy of Allah’s requirement (Quran 24:4) that adultery needs four (male) witnesses.

The man in the hadith makes the excellent point that it is ridiculous that the husband should allow the other man to continue doing his wife—giving him time to finish the job—while the husband has to go out and find three more men to come to his house and serve as witnesses.

The Masked Arab highlights the insanity of it all in this excerpt from his [brilliant video] (https://web.archive.org/web/20181231011501/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2gZk0fCmyo).

• Hadith #358: Sunan Abu Dawud 4533. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 357: Muhammad says that a non-Muslim’s good deeds are worthless to Allah + The “huge fat man” analogy

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #357 Sahih al-Bukhari 4729 (6) CHAPTER. "They are those who deny in the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of their Lord and the Meeting with Him (in the Hereafter). So their works are in vain..." (V.18:105) 4729. Narrated Abu Hurairah Allah's Messenger said, "On the Day of Resurrection, a huge fat man will come who will not weigh, the weight of the wing of a mosquito before Allah." And then the said: "Read (or recite): 'And Prophet on the Day of Resurrection, We shall assign no weight for them."" (V.18:105) Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Muhammad records that Allah, All-Compassionate and All-Merciful, ignores All non-Muslims’ good deeds. (Quran 18:105)

In this hadith, Muhammad emphasizes the point with an analogy of a weightless fat man. The fat man is a kafir fat with good deeds. His weightlessness is the worthlessness of those good deeds in Allah’s eyes.

Fun fact: Allah says five times in the Quran that He “hates” maqt or “does not love” la yuhibbu non-Muslims. (3:32, 22:38, 30:45, 35:39, 40:10) The Quran has more than 6,000 verses, and Allah not one single time says He loves mankind or the world, much less non-Muslims.

• Hadith #357: Sahih al-Bukhari 4729

 

Hadith 356: Didn’t pay zakat? Allah, All-Compassionate and All-Merciful, will burn you alive with plates of fire heated in Hell—for what will seem like 50,000 years. But that’s not all…

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #356 Sahih Muslim 987a (2290) [2290] 24 (987) Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allâh() said: "There is no owner of gold or silver who does not pay what is due on them, but when the Day of Resurrection comes, there will be beaten out for him plates of fire which will be heated in the Fire of Hell, and his sides, forehead and back will be branded with them. Every time they cool down they will be reheated for him, on a day the length of which is as fifty thousand years... ... It was said: "O Messenger of Allâh, what about camels?" He said: "There is no owner of camels who does not pay what is due on them which includes milking them on the day when they are brought to water but when the Day of Resurrection comes, a vast plain will be spread out for them, and the whole herd will be gathered, and not a single young camel will be missing. They will trample him with their hooves and bite him with their mouths, and every time the first one of them has passed the last of them will return, on a day the length of which is as fifty thousand years. ... It was said: "O Messenger of Allâh, what about cattle and sheep?" He said: "There is no owner of cattle or sheep who does not pay what is due on them, but when the Day of Resurrection comes, a vast plain will be spread out for them, and the whole herd will be gathered, and not one of them will be missing, and there will be none with twisted horns, missing horns or broken horns. They will gore him with their horns and trample him with their hooves. Every time the first one of them has passed the last of them will return, on a day the length of which is as fifty thousand years. Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

…and then animals, furious that you didn’t pay zakat on them, will continuously trample, gore and bite you for what will seem like 50,000 years. (Somehow, I think camels will be far more furious that we mutilated and slaughtered them in archaic Islamic sacrifices than for not paying zakat tax on their value.)

So let this be a warning: Everyone should follow the example of al-Insan al-Kamil (the Perfect Man) and pay their zakat. Oh wait…

Fun fact: There is no record of Muhammad ever paying zakat. Even with Muhammad’s wealth that includes owning 100 sheep and 45 female camels (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/130), well above the nisab threshold, I am not aware of one, even weak, hadith in which Muhammad pays zakat.

In contrast, for each of the other four Islamic pillars, there are hundreds—if not thousands—of hadiths demonstrating Muhammad’s adherence to that pillar.

• Hadith #356: Sahih Muslim 987a (2290)

 

Hadith 355: Muhammad says that we are still at war with snakes. No peace treaty imminent

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #355 Sunan Abu Dawud 5250 (175) Chapter: Regarding killing snakes Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: The Prophet () said: He who leaves the snakes alone through fear of their pursuit, does not belong to us. We have not made peace with them since we have fought with them. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

What f**king snake war? And how should we negotiate a peace treaty with the snakes?

By saying “since we have waged war with them” (harab really means “waged war” rather than just “fought”), Muhammad indicates that sometime in human history there were specific hostilities between humans and multiple snakes, and that fighting ceased but no peace treaty was negotiated.

Islamic scholars awkwardly try to tie this hadith into the story of Adam & Eve, but, problematically, there is no snake, much less snakes, in the Quranic or Hadith account of Adam & Eve.

• Hadith #355: Sunan Abu Dawud 5250. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 354: Allah gives you 100 points for killing a gecko. Fallout 2 gives you 135 points

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #354 Sahih Muslim 2240b (5847) Chapter 38. It Is Recommended To Kill Geckos [5847] 147 - (...) A Hadîth like that of Khâlid from Sahl (no. 5846) was narrated from Abû Hurairah from the Prophet, except Jarîr only, in whose Hadith it says: "Whoever kills a gecko with the first blow, one hundred Hasanah will be recorded for him, and for the second blow, less than that, and for the third blow, less than that." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

Hasanas (Arab. pl: hasanaat) are merit points Allah gives you for doing good deeds. There are online calculators that let you keep track of your hasanas. A typical good deed will give you ten hasanas.

Allah made geckos, like all animals, as divinely perfect creations. But He really wants you to kill them. Thus, Allah gives you 100 hasanas if you kill a gecko on the first try, ten times more than a typical good deed.

The reality is that geckos, which Muhammad called fuqaisiq (noxious little creatures), were annoying pests to Muhammad. So he invented a story on how geckos were the only animals who did not try to extinguish a fire in which Abraham was thrown into (Nasai 2834). This gave Muhammad an excuse to call for their killing, despite their harmlessness.

• Hadith #354: Sahih Muslim 2240b (5847).

 

Hadith 353: No one goes to Heaven until the women of an extinct tribe worship an extinct idol

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #353 Sahih al-Bukhari 7116 7116. Narrated Abu Hurairah Allah's Messenger said, "The Hour will not be established till the buttocks of the women of the tribe of Daus move while going round Dhul-Khalaṣa." Dhul-Khalaşa was the Taghiyah (idol) of the Daus tribe which they used to worship in the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance. Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In Islam, the Hour (the End of the World) is necessary for anyone to get to Heaven. Until then the dead are stuck in their graves, conscious and sentient, in a period known as al-barzakh. (Jihadi martyrs are the exception because, upon dying, they immediately go to Heaven to fly around as green birds during al-barzakh.)

Muhammad has prophesied that the Hour, and thus Heaven, will not come until the women of Daws (a now extinct tribe) shake their butts while going around Dhul-Khalasa (a now obliterated idol).

Unless the tribe of Daws can be made un-extinct, either:

(1) the Prophet prophesied incorrectly, or

(2) no Muslim will ever get to Heaven

• Hadith #353: Sahih al-Bukhari 7116.

 

Hadith 352: Muhammad teaches a beautiful prayer: “I seek refuge from the evil of my semen”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #352 Sunan Abu Dawud 1551 1551- It is narrated on the authority of Shakal Ibn Humaid that he said: I said: "O Messenger of Allah! Teach me a supplication (therewith to invoke Allah)." On that the Messenger of Allah "Allah's blessing and peace be upon him" said: "Say: "O Allah! I seek refuge with You from the evil of my hearing, from the evil of my sight, from the evil of my tongue, from the evil of my heart, and from the evil of my semen." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arnaut

 

But my semen is compassionate and kind! ;)

By “semen,” Muhammad is referring to a man’s evil horniness. But what about the women? What should they recite? Women should say “I seek refuge in You from the evil of my han.” (Jami al-Usul 2413) Ibn al-Athir, the celebrated hadith lexicologist, explains han (thing) for this very hadith: “that is, the vagina.” (Al-Nihaya 5/278)

• Hadith #352: Sunan Abu Dawud 1551. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 351: Muhammad says women in Heaven are as rare as a red-beaked crow

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #351 Musnad Ahmad 17770 Narrated Umara bin Khuzayma: In the time when we were with Amru bin Al-Aas during the Hajj, or perhaps during a pilgrimage to Mecca at some other time, he said, "We were with the Messenger of Allah in this valley when he said, 'Look! Do you see anything?' Whereupon we replied, 'We see a flock of white-winged crows, one of which has a red beak and red feet.' And the Messenger of Allah # said, 'No woman enters Paradise, except for she who is like this crow conspicuous from the others."" Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In the Hadith canon, a frequent teaching of Muhammad is that women are the majority in Hell and the minority in Heaven.

The scholar al-Sindi explains this particular hadith: “Few are those among them (women) who enter (Heaven), because this attribute (a red beak and feet) among crows is extremely rare.” (Sharh Musnad Ahmad 10/353)

• Hadith #351: Musnad Ahmad 17770. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 350: Islam: Having a mortgage = haram. Having a sex slave = halal

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #350 Sahih Muslim 1598 (4093) [1598] Jabir said that Allah's Messenger (SAW) cursed the one who accepts interest and the one who pays it, and the one who records it, and the two witnesses. He said: They are all equal. Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

I have a mortgage of 3%, which allowed me to buy a house for my young family, which has given us happiness, peace and safety that ten years ago I never thought I would attain. But Muhammad specifically curses me. Muhammad specifically asks that Allah withhold His blessings from me.

But you, Muhammad, you personally owned sex slaves and work slaves. You caused the enslavement of thousands in your lifetime. You caused the enslavement of tens of millions for the following 1,400 years. You murdered and stole from non-Muslims everywhere, poetically saying: “the keys of the treasures of the Earth have been given to me.”

Your entire contribution to economic theory was the development of an immoral theft and extortion economy. And now the entire Muslim world is unable to replicate your economic model, rejecting your command, preferring a functioning economy over your idiocy. And I should take financial guidance from you? And I should take any kind of guidance from you?

How dare you curse me, charlatan.

• Hadith #350: Sahih Muslim 1598 (4093)

 

Hadith 349: Muhammad says Angels curse any woman who denies her husband sex. Allah remains angry until husband is sexually pleased

 

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #349 Sahih Muslim 1436a, c (3538, 3540) Chapter 20. It Is Unlawful For The Wife To Refuse To Come To Her Husband's Bed [3538] 120- (1436) It was narrated from Abû Zuhrah that the Prophet said: "If a woman spends the night forsaking her husband's bed, the Angels will curse her until morning." [3540] 121 - (...) It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until he is pleased with her." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

Muhammad explains that Allah and his angels are very concerned that Muslim men are sexually satisfied, regardless of the wife’s desires.

Unfortunately, this hadith has serious fiqh implications. Every Islamic school of jurisprudence states that denying a husband sex, even for one night, is unlawful nushooz (disobedience) for which the husband may beat his wife (Quran 4:34).

Using physical violence to compel a woman to have sex. Is there a word for that? Oh yes. Rape.

Fun fact: While a woman may not deny her husband sex for one day, a man may deny his wife sex for four months (Quran 2:226).

• Hadith #349: Sahih Muslim 1436a, c (3538, 3540)

 

Hadith 348: Muhammad’s terrorist attack on a house of worship during Ramadan

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #348 Sahih al-Bukhari 3823 3823. (In another narration) Jarir bin 'Abdullah narrated: There was a house called Dhul-Khalaṣa (1) in the pre-Islamic period and it was also called Al-Ka'ba Al- Yamaniya or Al-Ka'ba Ash-Shāmīya. Allāh's Messenger said to me, "Will you relieve me from Dhul-Khalasa?" So I left for it with 150 cavalry men from the tribe of Ahmas and then we destroyed it and killed whoever we found there. Then we came to the Prophet and informed him about it. He invoked good upon us and upon the tribe of Ahmas. Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Muhammad ordered his men to attack Dhul-Khalasa, a house of worship for several tribes. Muhammad saw Dhul-Khalasa, a Yemeni temple, as a competitor to his Kaba in Mecca. His men attacked the house, set it on fire, and murdered everyone they found there. After the massacre, a happy Muhammad invoked blessings on his jihadis five times.

During the attack, in the spirit of “no compulsion in religion,” the lead jihadi told a man, “Break them (your divining arrows) and testify �?There is no god but Allah’ or else I will chop off your head!” Another jihadi told him that Muhammad himself would chop off his head.

This is blatant offensive jihad against people whose crime was refusing to convert to Islam. The attack on Dhul-Khalasa, initiated during Ramadan like so many other attacks (Battle of Badr, Conquest of Mecca, etc.), continues to serve as a terrorist template for jihadis today.

Fun fact: Muhammad said he is unique among the prophets because: “I have been made victorious with terror.” (Bukhari 2977).

• Hadith 348: Sahih al-Bukhari 3823. See also Sahih al-Bukhari 4357 for more detailed account. For a poetic account of the rapes and murders in the attack, see Ibn al-Kalbi's Book of Idols, p. 31.

 

Hadith 347: Muhammad says Satan longs to sit on men’s hair buns—which are for the “buttocks of Satan”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #347 Jami al-Tirmidhi 384 Chapter 165. What Has Been Related About It Being Disliked To Gather The Hair During Salāt 384. Abū Rafi' narrated that he passed by Al-Hasan bin 'Ali while he was performing Salat and he had gathered his locks at the back of his head, so he (Abū Rafi') undid them, and Al-Hasan turned to him angrily. He said: "Resume your Salāt and do not be angry, for indeed I heard Allah's Messenger saying: 'That is the seat of Ash- Shaitan. Classed sahih by al-Arna'ut and hasan by al-Albani

 

An important Islamic tenet is that Satan is literally with you during prayer, trying to mess up your prayer. He urinates in your ear to make you miss prayer. He coaxes you into farting, which voids your prayer. He makes you forget how many prayer cycles you’ve done, hoping to make it a deficient prayer.

And he tries to sit on you during prayer…but only if you are a man…and only if your hair is in a bun. (Women are safe because their hair is covered.)

I would imagine it would be more comfortable for Satan to just sit on my shoulders during prayer. But apparently Satan is banking on me pulling my hair back so he can rest his ass on my hair bun. And Allah knows best.

It should be noted that the translation is a bit sanitized and is better translated as “That is (for) the buttocks of Satan.”

• Hadith #347: Jami al-Tirmidhi 384. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 346: Islamic honor code

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #346 Sunan al-Nasa'i 3810 Chapter 14. One Who Swears An Oath And Then Sees That Something Else Is Better 3810. It was narrated from Abû Mûsâ that the Prophet said: "There is nothing on Earth that I swear an oath upon, and I see that something else is better, but I do that which is better." Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

Every time you think Muhammad cannot set the bar any lower, he finds a way.

Mind you, a Muslim need expiate for breaking an oath. But that is so easy. And it does nothing to help the very person whose trust you just violated. Practically, it means giving a meal’s worth of food to ten needy people (Quran 5:89), and this doesn’t even need to be done all at once. And if you can’t afford that, you can simply fast for three daytimes.

This is a very small price for the power to break promises at will. In fact, if you don’t even want to risk that small price, Muhammad made a loophole that if you say Insha-Allah (if Allah wills) with any oath, you can break your promise without owing anything. (Tirmidhi 1531)

The bottom line is that Islam causes a Muslim’s word to be worth nothing.

• Hadith #346: Sunan al-Nasa’i 3810. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 345: Muhammad orders that you cannot, repeat CANNOT, put on a shoe while standing

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #345 Sunan Abu Dawud 4135 (1545) Chapter: Wearing Sandals Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Messenger of Allah () forbade that a man should put on sandals while standing. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

It is remarkable the lengths that Muhammad goes to control a Muslim’s every physical movement and trait. I find this hadith goes beyond idiotic and enters the realm of sinister. When you control a person’s body, you can control a person’s mind.

But what do the greatest Islamic scholars of all time say about this "important" religious prohibition? Well, let us go to the most cited explanation of them all, written by the 10th century scholar al-Khattabi, who wrote a famous commentary on Sunan Abu Dawud.

It seems that perhaps he forbade putting on a shoe while standing because it is simple and easy to put it on while sitting. Perhaps this was the reason for his opposition to putting it on while standing, and ordering to do so while sitting, and with the aid of one’s hand ensuring it is done in a good way. And Allah knows best. Ma'alimus Sunan 4/203

Seriously? Muhammad cannot trust a Muslim to figure out how to put on a shoe.

Al-Albani’s comment regarding Abu Dawud 4135 is the clichéd response to anything ridiculous or illogical in Islam:

And Allah, the Exalted, knows best the wisdom for His law and its intentions. Al-Silsilah al-Sahihah no. 719

I love that how to put on a shoe is a divine "law."

• Hadith #345: Sunan Abu Dawud 4135. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 344: Muhammad has OCD

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #344 Sahih al-Bukhari 5856 (40) CHAPTER. One should take off the left shoe first. 5856. Narrated Abu Hurairah Allah's Messenger said, "If you want to put on your shoes, put on the right shoe first; and if you want to take them off, take off the left one first. Let the right shoe be the first to be put on and the last to be taken off." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad explains that Allah, the creator of two trillion galaxies, worries about which of your feet gets to wear a shoe longer.

A more plausible explanation is that Muhammad’s words, as recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari’s all-important chapter One should take off the left shoe first, demonstrate that Muhammad has OCD.

Also see the amusing title of Chapter 41, directly after this hadith. (Available in the link below)

• Hadith #344: Sahih al-Bukhari 5856

 

Hadith 343: Muhammad says Allah, the homophobe creator of the universe, will send all mannish women to Hell

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #343 Al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman 10310 Narrated Ammar bin Yasir: The Messenger of Allah said, "Three will never enter Paradise: the cuckold, the mannish woman, and the habitual wine drinker." They asked, "O Messenger of Allah, we know the habitual wine drinker, but who is the cuckold?" He said, "He who does not care who visits his wife." We asked, "And who is the mannish woman?" He said, "She who resembles men." Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad—an extreme homophobe who repeatedly curses gays and asks Allah to deny His blessings to them—explains that Allah has targeted three people for Hell.

This list of three is remarkably petty and ignores how an individual treats others. What is further remarkable is Muhammad not only believes that Allah is a homophobe—already quite the empty trait to assign the profound creator of two trillion galaxies—but that Allah is so extraordinarily shallow in His homophobia that He will send a woman to Hell based on her appearance alone.

But what if instead of cuckolds, mannish women, and wine drinkers, Allah’s real Targeted-for-Hell list is:

1. Those who murder

2. Those who steal

3. Those who have sex with children

Be careful, Muhammad.

• Hadith #344: Al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman 10310. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 342: Muhammad, an expert hydrologist, says water never becomes impure. Fukushima residents remain skeptical

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #342 Sunan al-Nasa'i 327 327. It was narrated that Abû Sa'eed Al-Khudrî said: "It was said: 'O Messenger of Allâh, you perform Wudu' from the well of Budâ'ah when it is a well into which the bodies of dogs, menstrual rags and garbage are thrown?' He said: 'Water is pure and it is not made impure by anything." Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad, an expert hydrologist, explains that nothing makes water impure, that it’s safe and ideal to pour even the filthiest water over your face for ablution (wudu). There can be garbage in there. Menstrual rags. Rotting corpses. It doesn’t matter.

In Islam, Allah rejects your prayer unless you are ritually pure (tahir). If you urinate, defecate, fart, touch your penis, eat camel meat, sleep—all of that makes you impure (najis). To purify yourself and have your prayers accepted by Allah, you must perform wudu, which is to pour water over various parts of your body, also rinsing your mouth and nose.

Now just think of the preposterousness of this for a moment. You just had a nice dinner consisting of well-done, properly cooked camel meat. But per Islamic law, this has made you impure. And so to correct this, you take water steeped with a rotting dog corpse, with trillions of hazardous bacteria, and pour it on your face and, not only that, YOU RINSE YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE WITH IT.

So based on Muhammad’s wisdom, the residents of Fukushima, Japan can confidently rinse their mouths with local well water. And even if there were a radiation risk, would not the greater risk be that Allah rejects their prayers?

• Hadith #342: Sunan al-Nasa’i 327. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 341: Muhammad says (1) Satan is a musician who plays the bell, and (2) Muhammad receives the Revelation as the ringing of a bell. Hmmm

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #341 Sahih Muslim 2114, 2333b (5548, 6059) [5548] 104 - (2114) It was narrated from Abû Hurairah that the Messenger of Allâh said: "Bells are the musical instruments of the Shaitân." - [6059] 87 (...) It was narrated from 'Aishah that Al-Hârith bin Hishâm asked the Prophet: "How does the Revelation come to you?" He said: "Sometimes it comes like the ringing of a bell, and that is the hardest for me, but when it is over I have understood it. Sometimes an angel comes in the form of a man, and I understand what he says." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In the first of these glorious hadiths, Muhammad explains that Satan's preferred musical instrument is the bell. In multiple hadiths, Muhammad also mentions that, in contrast, angels are repulsed by bells. (Nasa’i 5224)

In the second of these glorious hadiths, Muhammad explains that the angel Gabriel delivers the Revelation to Muhammad as "the ringing of a bell." Wait a second. Muhammad, you said that angels are repulsed by bells. You said that “bells are the musical instruments of Satan.”

And so Gabriel delivers the Revelation to Muhammad in the angels’ most hated form, which is Satan’s most beloved form.

Obviously, the only logical Islamic answer is that Muhammad received the Revelation from Satan.

Awkward.

• Hadith #341: Sahih Muslim 2114 (5548), Sahih Muslim 2333b (6059)

 

Hadith 340: To teach a lesson about submitting to a leader, Muhammad highlights blacks as the lowest human form

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #340 Sahih al-Bukhari 696 696. Narrated Anas bin Malik The Prophet said to Abu-Dhar, “Listen and obey (your chief) even if he is an Ethiopian with a head like a raisin." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious and deservedly famous hadith, Muhammad achieves two goals:

1. He highlights blacks as the lowest human form to serve as a powerful contrast to a leadership archetype

2. He assigns an offensive physical stereotype to blacks, comparing them to dark, wrinkled fruit

This is not the only example of Muhammad using negative physical descriptors for non-Arabs. He describes Turks “as if their eyes are the pupils of locusts and as if their faces are hammered shields” or “shields coated with leather.” (Bukhari 2928, Ibn Majah 4099)

Muhammad’s Arab bias is also found in his preference for freeing Arab slaves. While blacks were obviously disproportionately enslaved compared to Arabs in 7th century Arabia (including by Muhammad himself), Muhammad nevertheless highlights in multiple hadiths the superiority of freeing Arabs. (Bukhari 2543, Abu Dawud 5077, note that the term “descendant of Ishmael” means an Arab)

While Muhammad’s clear goal was to have the entire world accept him as a prophet, he nevertheless clumsily exposes his racist, Arab-supremacist nature in multiple hadiths.

• Hadith #340: Sahih al-Bukhari 696

 

Hadith 339: Muhammad says nothing is more precious than praying against “the evil of sorceresses who blow incantations on knots”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #339 Sunan al-Nasa'i 5441 5441. It was narrated that 'Uqbah bin 'Amir said: "I came to the Messenger of Allâh while he was riding, and I put my hand on his foot and said: 'Teach me Sûrah Hûd, teach me Sûrah Yûsuf. He said: 'You will never recite anything more precious before Allâh, the Mighty and Sublime, than: 'Say: I seek refuge with (Allâh) the Lord of the daybreak)."" Classed sahih by al-Albani Qur'an Sura al-Falaq (113) Say: "I seek refuge with the Lord of the Daybreak From the evil of what He has created, And from the evil of the darkness when it gathers, And from the evil of sorceresses who blow incantations on knots, And from the evil of the envier when he envies."

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad says regarding Sura al-Falaq (113), possibly the most idiotic sura in the entire Quran, that “You will never recite anything more precious before Allah.” Really Muhammad. In my entire life, I will never recite anything more precious than this:

Sura al-Falaq is a prayer Allah wrote for us to recite back to Him. In it:

1. I pray to be protected from evil jinn (i.e., genies) who emerge at twilight and steal my stuff. (Bukhari 3316, Muslim 2013a)

2. I pray to be protected from evil witches who cast spells on me by making rope knots and blowing on them

3. I pray to be protected from the evil eye. In Islam, the evil eye is when someone looks at you enviously. You then become physically ill and can become totally incapacitated. To be cured, you have to take a special bath using water that the one who gave you the evil eye must first pour on himself. (Ibn Majah 3509)

Alhamdulillah! Islam has freed mankind from Jahiliyya superstition.

Or not.

• Hadith #339: Sunan al-Nasa’i 5441. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 338: Muhammad says black dogs are devils and should all be killed

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #338 Sahih Ibn Hibban 5658 Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: I heard the Prophet say, "Were dogs not an ummah (nation) among the umam (nations), I would have ordered them killed. But kill the black dog, for the animal is a devil." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

I do not have words.

I will simply share idiocy from the most revered Islamic scholar of all time, Sheikh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyya, who attributes the following statement to Muhammad:

The black dog is the Satan among dogs, and the jinn (i.e., genies) often appear in that form, and also in the form of black cats, because black is better able to harness Satanic power than other colors, and it intensifies heat. (Majmu al-Fatawa 19/52)

• Hadith #338: Sahih Ibn Hibban 5658. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. See also Sunan Abu Dawud 2845, 2846 and Sunan Ibn Majah 3210.

 

Hadith 337: Meet Muhammad’s black slave Anjasha + Women are like fragile glass (that you can beat)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #337 Sahih al-Bukhari 6161 6161. Narrated Anas bin Malik as: Allah's Messenger was on a journey and he had a black slave called Anjasha, and he was driving the camels (very fast, and there were women riding on those camels). Allah's Messenger said, "Waiḥaka (may Allah be Merciful to you) O Anjasha! Drive slowly (the camels) with the glass vessels (women)!" Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn two important lessons:

1. Muhammad is a slaveholder. So owning slaves is Sunna

2. Muhammad believes women are like fragile glass, but still can be beaten

In his first 40 years of life as a pagan, Muhammad did not capture or buy one slave. After founding Islam, Muhammad became a proficient slaveholder, buying or capturing for his personal use over 30 slaves. (This number excludes his wives' slaves, plus the thousands of people enslaved through Muhammad’s jihad campaigns.)

To this day, it is jarring to me to think that Allah’s final prophet to the world, who Allah in his timeless message to mankind describes as “an exalted standard of character” (68:4), was a significant slaveholder.

And one of these slaves was Anjasha, a camel-driver. In this hadith, Muhammad tells Anjasha to ensure the camels don’t go too fast because the women riders are as weak and fragile as glass vessels.

Of course, as Allah tells us in the Quran (4:34), women are not too weak and fragile to escape a beating if they deserve one.

• Hadith #337: [Sahih al-Bukhari 6161] (https://web.archive.org/web/20181231011543/https://archive.org/stream/SahihAlBukhariVol.317732737EnglishArabic/Sahih%20al-Bukhari%20Vol.%208%20-%205970-6860%20English%20Arabic#page/n105/mode/1up)

 

Hadith 336: Muhammad creates direct financial incentive to kill non-Muslims

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #336 Sunan al-Darimi 2527 Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, "Whoever kills an infidel gets his spoils." Abu Talhah killed twenty that day, and he took their spoils. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Darani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad gives jihadis the necessary financial incentive to kill non-Muslims on a large-scale.

In contrast to the previous scenario in which Muhammad took a 20% cut of all war booty, a jihadi can now keep all the personal belongings of the non-Muslim he murders. Every school of Islamic jurisprudence endorses this concept, with the approval of the relevant leader recommended if not required.

In this particular hadith, Muhammad's financial incentive inspired Abu Talhah to kill twenty infidels at the Battle of Hunayn, thus stealing divinely earning twenty people's property.

And in recognition of Muhammad’s contributions to the development of a murder and theft-based economy, I appeal to the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences to award a Nobel Prize in Economics posthumously.

• Hadith #336: Sunan al-Darimi 2527. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Darani. See also Muslim 1753 (4570, 4571).

 

Hadith 335: Muhammad says the reason newborn babies cry is because they’re pricked by Satan

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #335 Sahih Muslim 2366a (6133) [6133] 146 - (2366) It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allâh said: "There is no child who is born but the Shaitan pricks him, and he begins to cry because of the Shaitan pricking him, except the son of Mariam and his mother." Then Abu Hurairah said: "Recite, if you wish: ...And I seek refuge with You (Allâh) for her and for her offspring from Shaițân (Satan), the outcast."[1] Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad shines his light on medicine and science.

Unfortunately, Muhammad was ignorant about everything scientific, and so he believed that the crying of a newborn was a negative thing. And thus he attributed a newborn’s crying to his favorite scapegoat: Satan.

But medical science has proven the benefit of a newborn's crying. It increases pulmonary blood flow. It clears the lung of amniotic fluid. It increases pulmonary air pressure, allowing normal breathing to take place. It also triggers the mother’s own nurturing reflex, ensuring the baby’s welfare.

So this leads to only one of two possibilities:

1. Satan is beautifully sustaining humankind

2. Muhammad is wrong

It should be noted that two humans have successfully escaped Satan’s pricking: Mary and her son Jesus. In the case of Jesus, Satan tried to prick Jesus but could only get at his placenta. (Bukhari 3286)

Seriously Muhammad, do you put any thought into this or do you just make stuff up on the fly?

• Hadith #335: Sahih Muslim 2366a (6133)

 

Hadith 334: Muhammad says sun rises and sets over Satan’s head between his horns (and how to reconcile with a round Earth)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #334 Sahih Muslim 828b (1925) [1925] 290 (...) It was narrated that Ibn 'Umar said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'Do not pursue prayer when the sun is rising or when it is setting, for it rises between the horns of the Shaitân."" Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad explains that the sun rises (and sets) between the horns of Satan.

This is literal. What specifically occurs is that in the morning, when the sun rises, the sun is directly above the head of Satan, sandwiched between Satan’s horns. The same occurs at sunset every day. Muhammad, always looking to denigrate non-Muslims, links non-Muslims’ prostration at such times as prostrating to Satan. (Muslim 832)

Muhammad thinks the world is flat and has no idea that the sun is always simultaneously rising and setting. And so in his eyes, it seems plausible that the sun rises and sets once around Satan and everyone sees the same thing.

But just imagine for a moment what it takes for Muhammad to be correct in our round earth world. (And let any scientist contribute here.)

• As a premise, Satan needs to be on the Earth. You can’t have Satan in the sky, much less in space, otherwise he could be seen with the sun during Islamic prayer times, in conflict with the Hadith

• But just Satan by himself won’t work because of everyone’s different position on the meridian. Satan would need a huge army of horned devils that look like him, positioned in one giant vertical circle across the entire planet

• This army of horned devils would have to travel at 1,000 mph westward, with each devil going slower the closer they are to the Poles—all in perfect sync like a marching band

• But then devils aren’t supposed to be doing this all day. They’ve got stuff to do. Sit on men’s hair buns. Hang out in people’s noses. Prick babies, etc. So there must be many armies of horned devils working different shifts (twice-daily to be consistent with the hadith)

• And this would have to continue day and night, forever and ever

Or Muhammad could have made it all up.

• Hadith #334: Sahih Muslim 828b (1925). See also Muwatta Malik 521. (Umar beating people who pray at sunrise or sunset)

 

Hadith 333: Muhammad says Jews envy Islam’s “salam” and “amen” (that Muhammad copied from Jews)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #333 Sunan Ibn Majah 856 It was narrated from 'Aishah that the Prophet said: "The Jews do not envy you for anything more than they envy you for the Salâm and (saying) 'Amin.'" Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad highlights Jewish envy for Islamic customs, a rather bold claim considering Jews not only practice these customs, they invented them.

So why are the Jews envious? Sheikh Abdul-Ghani writes in Inhah al-Hajah, his commentary on Sunan Ibn Majah:

Perhaps the reason for their envy is because these two customs are fundamental to them (Muslims). And they (Jews) do not practice these two customs in order that they need not despond and imitate the people of Islam.

So Jews didn’t want to recite their own traditions because they would be copying Muslims, and that would make them sad.

I can only imagine how offensive this is to Jews. Islam’s as-salaam alaikam is simply a copy of Judaism’s shalom eleichum greeting, which was in use for hundreds of years prior to Islam, as it is today.

And with amen, is the Abrahamic Prophet Muhammad so ignorant about the Hebrew Bible that he doesn’t realize amen appears over twenty times in it? Amen has always been a regular component of Jewish communal prayer, and it is a main feature of the shemoneh esrei prayer, which dates well before Islam.

This hadith is another example of Muhammad creating a story to denigrate non-Muslims. In yesterday’s Hadith, it was a story about the sun rising with Satan in order to denigrate polytheists. Today, it is a story about nonsensical envy to denigrate Jews.

• Hadith #333: Sunan Ibn Majah 856 (also read Darussalam’s comments following the hadith). Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 332: Muhammad teaches the proper way to beat your slave

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #332 Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 174 Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When one of you strikes his servant, let him avoid his face." Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

Al-Bukhari records this hadith on proper beating in his book on proper Muslim manners.

Muhammad, a slave-master, is clear about slave ownership:

• You are allowed to buy slaves

• You are allowed to capture slaves

• You are allowed to beat slaves

• You are not allowed to hit slaves’ faces or beat slaves “unreasonably”

This is canonized in Islamic law for eternity, and, per Muhammad, “Islam is superior and nothing is superior to it.” (Daraqutni 3620)

Is there truly no superior option than Muhammad’s eternal slavery laws?

• Hadith #332: Al-Adab al-Mufrad 174. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 331: Muhammad has woman breastfeed a grown man

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #331 Sahih Muslim 1453e (3604) Chapter 7. Breastfeeding An Adult [3604] 30 - (...) Zainab bint Abî Salamah said: I heard Umm Salamah, the wife of the Prophet say to 'Aishah: By Allâh, I do not like a boy who has passed the age of breastfeeding to see me. She said: Why? Sahlah bint Sa'd came to the Messenger of Allâh and said: "O Messenger of Allâh, by Allâh, I see some (discomfort) in the face of Abû Hudhaifah when Sâlim comes in." The Messenger of Allâh said: "Breastfeed him." She said: "He has a beard." He said: "Breastfeed him, and that which is in the face of Abû Hudhaifah will disappear." She said: "By Allâh, I did not see it in the face of Abû Hudhaifah (after that)." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad instructs a woman to breastfeed a grown man.

The reason Muhammad had the woman breastfeed the grown man was to create a mahram (unmarriageable) relationship between the man and the woman. In Islam, if a woman (e.g., a nursemaid) breastfeeds a boy who isn’t her son, they become mahram just like a mother and son.

The background of this hadith:

At an age unknown to us, a boy, Salim, was adopted by Sahla and Abu Hudhayfa. A grown Salim would still visit his adoptive parents. When Muhammad recorded a revelation that Allah doesn’t consider an adopted son a true son (Quran 33:5, this relates to Muhammad wanting to marry his adopted son’s ex-wife), that removed the mahram relationship between Salim and his adoptive mother.

So now whenever Salim would visit his adoptive parents, his adoptive dad would get upset because a non-mahram man was visiting his wife. Muhammad then instructed Sahla to breastfeed Salim to recreate the mahram relationship.

So even though Salim is old enough to have a beard, Muhammad still had him suckle his adoptive mom’s breasts in order for Salim to freely visit her without her having to be veiled.

And this is the wisdom of Muhammad.

Fun fact: This hadith was used as the basis of a famous 2007 fatwa stating a woman could suckle her male colleague, and in that way, they could more easily work together.

• Hadith #331: Sahih Muslim 1453e (3604). See also all hadiths within Muslim 1453, Muwatta Malik 1287, Nasa'i 3321-27.

 

Hadith 330: Muhammad says different races come from different colored dirt

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #330 Sunan Abu Dawud 4693 Abū Mūsā Al-Ash'arī said: "The Messenger of Allah 'Allah created Adam from a handful that He took from all the earth. So the sons of Adam came in accordance with the earth, there are red, white, black, and some in between, smooth and rough, bad and good." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad explains the origin of different races. And, surprise, it’s not melanin levels adapting to different geography and UV radiation levels. It’s different colored dirt.

Muhammad helpfully adds that people’s different personalities and morality are also caused by different dirt.

It’s as if Muhammad prophesied the Nobel Prizes for sciences and was committed that no Muslim ever win.

Fun fact: There are 678 Nobel Laureates in the sciences and medicine. Three are Muslim. Thanks Muhammad.

• Hadith #330: Sunan Abu Dawud 4693. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 329: Muhammad says his black slave will be in Hell for stealing what Muhammad stole

 

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #329 Sunan al-Nasa'i 3858 It was narrated that Abû Hurairah said: "We were with the Messenger of Allâh in the year of Khaibar, and we did not get any spoils of war except for wealth, goods and clothes. Then a man from Banu Ad-Dubaib, who was called Rifâ'ah bin Zaid, gave the Messenger of Allâh a black slave who was called Mid'am. The Messenger of Allâh set out for Wadî Al-Qura. When we were in Wadî Al-Qura, while Mid'am was unloading the luggage of the Messenger of Allâh, an arrow came and killed him. The people said: 'Congratulations! You will go to Paradise,' but the Messenger of Allâh said: 'No, by the One in Whose hand is my soul! The cloak that he took from the spoils of war on the day of Khaibar is burning him with fire.'... Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad highlights one of the major sins in Islam: ghulul (stealing from war spoils), which Muhammad says results in Hell. (Ibn Majah 2850)

Of course the irony is that Muhammad:

• In blatant offensive jihad, attacked the Jews of Khaibar at night

• Killed their men and took their women and children as captives

• Stole their property

• Took an ongoing, extortive 50% cut of the harvests from Jews willing to stay

And Muhammad actually thinks after the horror of the above, he is going to the highest level of Heaven—but that his slave Midam, who took one cloak, is going to Hell.

A nice touch to the hadith is the whiny narrator Abu Hurairah who has the gall to say, “we did not get any spoils of war except for wealth, goods and clothes.” As if that is not enough.

Muhammad: Don’t steal what I stole!

• Hadith #329: Sunan al-Nasa’i 3858. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 328: Muhammad angry that dying man freed too many slaves. Stops four of the six slaves from freedom

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #328 Sunan al-Nasa'i 1960 It was narrated from 'Imrân bin Husain that a man freed six slaves of his when he was dying, and he did not have any wealth apart from them. News of that reached the Prophet and he was angry about that. He said: "I was thinking of not offering the funeral prayer for him." Then he called the slaves and divided them into three groups. He cast lots among them, then freed two and left four as slaves. Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad stops a man from freeing all his slaves upon his death. Muhammad believes it more important that the man’s heirs get inheritance than the slaves get freedom.

While there is no such limitation in the Quran, Muhammad believes one-third is the maximum one can leave for charity at death. (Bukhari 5659)

The apologetics of this hadith are that Muhammad does not want heirs left lacking (not that any assessment of the heirs' true needs was done in this case).

But the bottom line is this: Muhammad, and thus Islam, values the wealth of heirs more than the freedom of slaves.

And I know, at the foundation of my very being, that is wrong.

• Hadith #328: Sunan al-Nasa’i 1960. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 327: The perks of being Muhammad’s child-bride

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #327 Sunan Abu Dawud 372 It was reported by Ḥammād [bin Abi Sulaiman] from Ibrāhīm, from Al-Aswad, that 'Aishah said: "I would scratch the seminal fluid off the garment of the Messenger of Allah, after which he would pray in it.' Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, thanks to Aisha’s hard work, we learn that semen—unlike urine, blood, flatulence—is tahir (ritually pure).

And no, you filthy kafirun, do not envision a scenario causing Muhammad to have semen stains on his clothes from young Aisha—a girl with whom he did not have penetrative sex the first three years of marriage (ages six through nine).

Anyway, back to the important legal issue at hand. Semen is pure only if you subscribe to the Hanbali or Shafii madhhabs (schools of Islamic jurisprudence). The Hanafis believe that semen is a mild impurity for which a good scraping suffices. The Malikis stubbornly maintain that semen is najis (impure).

This is genuinely an important hadith in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and is usually mentioned in any discussion on ritual purity and bodily fluids. It is important because Aisha’s scratching away at an impure substance, it is argued, would never qualify as proper cleaning. That Muhammad prays with these residual semen stains proves semen is pure.

And so now Muslim men wearing semen-stained clothes can be confident Allah will accept their prayers (unless they’re Malikis).

Thank you Aisha for your hard work to teach us Allah’s Law.

• Hadith #327: Sunan Abu Dawud 372. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 326: Man gets hit drinking wine, complains to Muhammad. Allah then bans alcohol to all of humanity for eternity

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #326 Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 24 Narrated Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas: Four verses of the Book of Allah, Most High, were revealed about me....The fourth was when I had been drinking wine with some of the Ansar. A man from among them hit my nose with the jawbone of a camel. I went to the Prophet and the Mighty and Sublime revealed the prohibition of wine. [Qur'an 5:90-91] Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn the science of Asbab al-Nuzul (reasons for revelation). The alcohol ban is a classic example of how Allah reveals His eternal message to mankind:

• Step 1. Something happens to Muhammad

• Step 2. In response, Allah reveals a verse to Muhammad giving Muhammad what he wants

• Step 3. Rinse and repeat. Abrogate when necessary

As Aisha perfectly said, “I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires.” (Hadith 363)

Allah, who has predestined everything, wavered for a few years on what His Law on alcohol would be (see 2:219, 4:43). But after Muhammad heard about the drunken fight, Allah decided on a complete prohibition (5:90-91).

This revelation is even worse than usual because it is obvious Muhammad already planned on completely banning alcohol. (The Battle of Uhud's drinking jihadis may have been the final straw.) He was simply waiting for the right excuse. The drunken fight gave him that excuse. He even gave a warning to Muslims:

“O people, Allah is hinting about wine, and perhaps He will reveal something about it, so whoever has any of it, let him sell it and benefit from it.” It was not long before the Prophet said, “Allah has forbidden wine.” (Muslim 1578)

So Allah reveals his eternal message to mankind by first giving Muhammad “hints,” allowing Muslims to make some sinful coin first.

• Hadith #326: Al-Adab al-Mufrad 24. Classed sahih by al-Albani. See also Muslim 1748c (6238).

 

Hadith 325: Muhammad says memorizing Quran is key to Heaven. Colossal waste of humanity’s brainpower ensues

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #325 Sunan Abu Dawud 1464 'Abdullah bin 'Amr narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "It will be said to the companion of the Qur'an: 'Read, and rise, and recite (Ratil) as you used to recite in this world, for your status will be according to the last Verse that you recite."" Classed sahih by al-Arna'ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn that memorizing the Quran is key to advancing in Heaven.

Now some may think that Quran memorization is perhaps the greatest waste of human brainpower imaginable. And some may even think that it is causally linked to Muslims’ embarrassingly low number of Nobel Prizes in the sciences and medicine (3 of 678 Laureates).

But Nobel Prizes matter not when we're talking about reaching al-Firdaws (highest level of Heaven).

What specifically happens is this: On the Day of Resurrection, Muslims will get to prove their Quran memorization skills to Allah. And the more Quran they can recite to Allah, the higher the Paradise level granted by Him.

Al-Khattabi writes in his commentary on Sunan Abu Dawud:

It is said in the report that the number of verses in the Quran equals the number of levels in Paradise, and it will be said to the reciter: “Rise up the levels to the extent you used to recite verses of the Quran.” Whoever recites all of the Quran will reach the highest level of Paradise, and whoever recites part of it will reach a level commensurate with that. The limit of his reward will match the limit of his reciting. (Ma'alimus Sunan 1/289-90)

So just imagine if you can recite all the way to the Mu'awwadhatain, the final two chapters of the Quran. If you can get that far, reciting about the evil eye and evil sorceresses who blow magic spells on knots (113:4-5)—why, just imagine what your house in Heaven will be made of. (Ibn Majah 1997)

• Hadith #325: Sunan Abu Dawud 1464. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani. See also Musnad Ahmad 10087.

 

Hadith 324: Muhammad says Satan eats your food. Yes, human food

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #324 Sahih Muslim 2033d (5303) [5303] 135 - (...) It was narrated that Jâbir said: "I heard the Prophet say: 'The Shaitân is present with any one of you in all his affairs, and he is even present with him when he eats. If one of you drops a morsel, let him remove any dirt on it, then eat it, and not leave it for the Shaitân. And when he has finished let him lick his fingers, for he does not know in which part of his food the blessing is."" Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn that Satan is like a bad roommate, always tagging along with us, eating our food. Elsewhere, we learn that Satan eats this food specifically with his left hand. (Muslim 2019)

Al-Nawawi writes:

If it (food morsel) falls in an impure place and has been made impure, it must be washed if possible, if it cannot be fed to an animal, and do not leave it for Satan, which proves that there are Satans and that they eat. (Sharh Sahih Muslim 13/204)

Ibn Hajar writes:

And that Satan eats is a fact. It is not for our intellect to reject that, and it is already proven from the report with no need for interpretation. (Fath al-Bari 9/522)

Now, were all this true, Satan would be enormously helpful, cleaning up after my mess. But I have learned Satan ignores even my most delicious bastilla.

As an aside, we also learn from this hadith that the blessing Allah beams down from the sky into the center of our food (Hadith 359), does not necessarily permeate all of our food. We must therefore be vigilant to lick all the food off our fingers, for that may be where Allah's blessing hides.

• Hadith #324: Sahih Muslim 2033d (5303)

 

Hadith 323: Muhammad says Allah—when He turned Jews into monkeys and pigs—made them infertile. So today’s monkeys and pigs are not, REPEAT NOT, descendants of Jews

 

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #323 Sahih Muslim 2663c (6772) [6772] 33 - (...) It was narrated that 'Abdullâh bin Mas'ûd said: "A man said: 'O Messenger of Allâh, monkeys and pigs, are they among those who were transformed?' The Prophet said: 'Allâh does not destroy a people or punish a people and grant them offspring. Monkeys and pigs existed before that." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad addresses the issue of monkeys and pigs we see today. Are they descendants of Jews?

Background: Allah explains in the Quran (5:60) that at one point He got so angry with Jews that He transmuted some into monkeys and pigs. While it seems that such an extraordinary, stupefying incident would have made it into Jewish scripture, all the proof we need is that it’s in the Quran.

But this begs the question: Are the monkeys and pigs we see now descendants of Jews? Muhammad answers this question with no. Allah made the transmuted Jews infertile.

Muhammad’s statement “Monkeys and pigs existed before that” means that it is the non-transmuted animals who are the ancestors of current monkeys and pigs.

Muhammad’s hatred of the Jews is extraordinary. That is why he is recorded as saying “May Allah kill/destroy the Jews” five times in Sahih al-Bukhari (437, 2223, 2224, 2236, 4633) for allegedly selling animal fat and building temples where prophets are buried.

(Note: All three English Bukhari translations sanitize قَاتَلَ اللَّهُ الْيَهُودَ by mistranslating it as “May Allah curse the Jews.”)

• Hadith #323: Sahih Muslim 2633c (6772)

 

Hadith 322: Muhammad teaches words that, if recited seven times, will always cure a disease. Surprise, it doesn’t work

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #322 Jami al-Tirmidhi 2083 Ibn 'Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: "There is no Muslim worshipper who visits one who is ill other than at the time of death- and he says seven times: As alullah Al-'Azeem Rabbal 'Arshil 'Azeem an yashfik ('I ask Allāh the Magnificent, Lord of the Magnificent Throne to cure you') except that he will be cured.' Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn that, in order to cure someone from a disease, all a Muslim need do is recite these words seven times, and Allah will always cure the person.

The hadith is crystal clear. Unless the person is at the throes of death, Allah will cure the person if a Muslim recites this supplication seven times.

In my extended family, I have people who are suffering from diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, cystic fibrosis, and bronchiectasis. We have tried this supplication. It does not work. Muhammad was wrong.

At what point do Muslims hold Muhammad accountable for his false statements?

• Hadith #322: Jami al-Tirmidhi 2083. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 321: Islam: You are not related to your first cousin, but you are related to your nursemaid’s husband’s brother

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #321 Sahih Muslim 1445j (3580) [3580] 10 - (...) It was narrated that 'Aishah said: "Aflah bin Qu'ais asked for permission to enter upon me, and I refused to let him in. He sent word saying: 'I am your paternal uncle, my brother's wife breastfed you.' But she refused to let him in. Then the Messenger of Allâh came, and she told him about that, and he said: 'Let him enter upon you, for he is your paternal uncle.””” Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, Aisha highlights the insanity of Islam’s “relations through breastfeeding.“

In the hadith, Aisha thought she should not allow someone unrelated (a non-mahram, i.e. marriageable) to visit her, particularly because she was not wearing the hijab. But Muhammad explains that it is fine because she and the man are related, as he is Aisha’s “paternal uncle through breastfeeding.”

Aisha intelligently retorts, “It is the woman who breastfed me, not the man.” (Muslim 1445b (3572)) It is an excellent point because none of the man’s biological material is even in the milk. But, per Islam, because it is the husband’s semen that ultimately triggered the lactation, the child and the nursemaid’s husband are related. Yes, really.

In contrast, a woman is not related to her biological first cousin for mahram purposes, and she has to wear the hijab around her first cousin. But marrying your first cousin, as did Muhammad with Zainab bint Jahsh, has well-documented negative health effects on the children.

And despite Allah clearly knowing first cousin marriages are unhealthy for the children, He permits such marriages as recorded by Muhammad in the Quran (4:23).

It is just so stupid. How can the Creator of the Universe be the author of something so stupid?

• Hadith #321: Sahih Muslim 1445j (3580). See also all hadiths within Sahih Muslim 1445.

 

Hadith 320: Muhammad says angels pray for you unless you fart

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #320 Sahih al-Bukhari 445 Narrated Abu Hurairah Allah's Messenger said, "The angels keep on asking Allah's forgiveness for anyone of you, as long as he is at his Musalla (praying place) and he does not pass wind (Hadath). They say, 'O Allah! Forgive him, O Allah! Be Merciful to him." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad explains that when a Muslim prays, the angels pray for forgiveness and mercy for the Muslim—unless the Muslim farts.

In the hadith, the angels pray when you are in the musalla (prayer room), which in this case may be anything from a musalla al-bayt (prayer room in the house) to a public mosque.

The angels recognize that Allah should not grant mercy and forgiveness to a farter, even though it is Allah Himself who designed farting.

No doubt, the Messenger of Allah understands the priorities of Allah, the Creator of Two Trillion Galaxies.

• Hadith #320: Sahih al-Bukhari 445

 

Hadith 319: Muhammad dreams of a black woman. Says she represents a traveling plague

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #319 Sahih al-Bukhari 7039 (42) CHAPTER. (To see) a black woman (in a dream). Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar  concerning the dream of the Prophet in Al-Madina : The Prophet said, "I saw (in a dream) a black woman with unkempt hair going out of Al-Madīna and settling at Mahya'a, I interpreted that as (a symbol of) the epidemic of Al-Madīna being transferred to Mahya'a, i.e., Al-Juḥfa." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad dreams of a black woman with unkempt hair, and he determines that she represents a traveling plague.

In other news, ex-Muslims interpret Muhammad’s dream of a black woman with unkempt hair, and they determine that she represents the origin of the human race.

• Hadith #319: Sahih al-Bukhari 7039

 

Hadith 318: Muhammad says if you touch your penis, you must rinse your mouth

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #318 Sunan al-Nasa'i 163 Chapter 118. Wudu' After Touching One's Penis 'Urwah bin Az-Zubair said: "I entered upon Marwân bin Al- Hakam and we mentioned the things for which Wudu' is done. Marwân said: 'Wudu' should be done after touching the penis.' 'Urwah said: 'I did not know that.' Marwân said: 'Busrah bint Safwân told me that she heard the Messenger of Allâh say: "And if any one of you touches his penis, let him do Wudû'." Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad explains that if a man touches his penis, even accidentally, Allah will reject his prayers until he performs wudu (ablution).

Wudu involves pouring water on various parts of your body up to three times. You must also rinse your mouth and nose with water.

So there are two options. It is up to each Muslim to decide which is more likely:

1. The Creator of Two Trillion Galaxies rejects all prayers from men who accidentally touch their penis until they wash their feet

2. Muhammad—who says that different races come from different colored dirt (Hadith 330) and prays for protection from the evil of his clothes (Hadith 360)—made it all up

• Hadith #318: Sunan al-Nasa’i 163. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 317: Muhammad, “a mercy to the worlds,” refuses to wish mercy on non-Muslims

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #317 Sunan Abu Dawud 5038 It was narrated from Abū Burdah that his father said: "The Jews used to sneeze in the presence of the Prophet, hoping that he would say to them, 'Yarhamuk-Allah (May Allah have mercy on you),' but he used to say: 'Yahdikumullah, wa yuṣliḥu bālakum (May Allah guide you and set your affairs straight)."" Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut Commentary He did not say to them, "May Allah have mercy on you," because mercy is only for the believers. Instead, he called them to improve their state, which is that they be guided and enabled to believe. Al-Qari, Mirqat al-Mafatih 8/534

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad, “a mercy to the worlds” (Quran 21:107), refuses to say "May Allah have mercy on you" to Jews who sneeze.

Al-Qari writes:

He did not say to them, “May Allah have mercy on you,” because mercy is only for the believers. Instead, he called them to improve their state, which is that they be guided and enabled to believe (in Islam). (Mirqat al-Mafatih 8/534)

And if non-Muslims do not deserve Allah’s mercy, why should they deserve the mercy of Muslims? And, in fact, they don't. Allah specifically instructs Muslims to be unmerciful to non-Muslims.

Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. (Quran 48:29)

The hate is breathtaking.

• Hadith #317: Sunan Abu Dawud 5038. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 316: Muhammad says a woman can’t fast without husband’s permission. The reason is she needs to always be ready for sex

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #316 Sahih al-Bukhari 5195 : Narrated Abu Hurairah Allah's Messenger said, "It is not lawful for a lady to observe Saum (fast) (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his consent; and whatever she spends of his wealth (on charitable gifts in Allah's Cause) without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad makes sure that women are always available for sex.

As sex is forbidden during fasting, a woman must make sure she has permission from her husband before doing a voluntary fast (Ramadan fasting is, of course, obligatory for everyone).

The significance of “when he is at home” is that if the husband is not home he obviously cannot have sex with his wife. Permission for fasting is thus not needed if he is traveling.

Per every school of Islamic jurisprudence, the reason for a permission requirement is because the husband’s right to have sex with his wife at any time is law, and it may not be dispensed with for the purpose of a non-obligatory religious act (such as a voluntary fast by the wife).

Al-Nawawi writes:

This is based on voluntary and recommended fasts for which there is no specific time. The prohibition implies that it is haram. The reason for that is that the husband has the right to enjoy it (his wife) on all days, and his right must be responded to immediately and not missed because of a voluntary fast or an obligatory fast that could be done another time. (Sharh Sahih Muslim 7/115)

IslamQA has an enlightening article (Fatwa 50732) addressing why, conversely, a man doesn’t need permission from the wife for a voluntary fast.

• Hadith #316: Sahih al-Bukhari 5195. See also Muslim 1026 and Tirmidhi 782.

 

Hadith 315: Muhammad says that girl’s urine is worse than boy’s urine

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #315 Sunan Ibn Majah 522 It was narrated that Lubâbah bint Hârith said: "Husain bin 'Ali urinated in the lap of the Prophet, and I said: 'O Messenger of Allâh, give me your garment and put on another garment.' He said: 'Water should be sprinkled on the urine of a baby boy, and the urine of a baby girl should be washed away.' Classed sahih by al-Arna'ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani Commentary by Imam al-Shafi'i "That is because the urine of the boy is of water and clay, but the urine of the girl is of flesh and blood."

 

In this glorious hadith, after having his clothes urinated on by his grandson, Muhammad teaches that girl's urine is worse than boy's urine.

So why is girl's urine worse?

Ibn Uthaymin writes:

If it is said, “What is the reason why the urine of a boy who is not eating food is sprinkled and not washed like the urine of a girl?” The answer is that the reason is that this is what is prescribed in the Sunnah, and that is sufficient reason. (Sharh al-Mumti 1/437-38)

While this standard “We must blindly follow Muhammad” explanation doesn’t cut it for me, the explanation given by Imam Shafii—of the Shafii madhhab—is more than I could ever dream for:

Narrated Abul-Yaman al-Misri:

I asked Shafi'i about the Hadith of the Prophet, "Water should be sprinkled over the urine of a baby boy, and the urine of a baby girl should be washed," when the two types of water (urine) are the same. He said, "This is because the urine of the boy is of water and clay, but the urine of the girl is of flesh and blood." Then he said to me: "Did you understand?" I said: "No."

He said: "When Allah the Most High created Adam, He created Eve from his short rib, so the boy's urine is from water and clay, and the girl's urine is from flesh and blood." Then he said to me: "Did you understand?" I said: "Yes." He said: "May Allah cause you benefit from this." (Ibn Majah 525)

As long as I live, I will never forget when Imam Shafii went full crazy in explaining Muhammad's crazy.

• Hadith #315: Ibn Majah 522. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 314: Muhammad annoyed with lingering guests. “Allah” immediately forbids guests from lingering and annoying him

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #314 Sahih al-Bukhari 4791 Narrated Anas bin Malik: When Allah's Messenger married Zainab bint Jaḥsh, he invited the people to a meal. They took the meal and remained sitting and talking. Then the Prophet (showed them) as if he is ready to get up, yet they did not get up. When he noticed that (there was no response to his movement), he got up, and the others, too, got up except three persons who kept on sitting. The Prophet came back in order to enter his house, but he found those people still sitting (so he went away again). Then they left.... Then Allah revealed: "O you who believe! Enter not the Prophets' houses..." (V.33:53) Classed sahih by al-Bukhari Qur'an 33:53 .... Enter not the Prophet's houses, except when permission is given to you for a meal, and then not so early as to wait for its preparation. But when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken your meal, disperse, without sitting for a talk. Verily, such behavior annoys the Prophet....And it is not right for you that you should annoy the Messenger of Allah, nor that you should ever marry his wives after him....

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad gets annoyed with lingering guests at his wedding banquet. So, the Creator of the Universe immediately reveals to all of humanity in His final and eternal message to mankind (Quran 33:53):

• When you are invited for dinner at Muhammad’s, don’t come early

• After the meal is over at Muhammad’s, don’t linger and talk

• It annoys Muhammad when you do this, but Muhammad’s not going to complain

• But Allah will complain, so stop annoying Muhammad

• Muhammad’s wives can never remarry

Throwing in how Muhammad’s wives can't remarry was a nice touch. All nine of his surviving wives died childless because of this.

Many of Muhammad’s revelations are remarkably self-serving. See Hadith 363 for instance.

But even for Muhammad, this revelation is embarrassingly frivolous and selfish, further discrediting the Quran.

• Hadith #314: Sahih al-Bukhari 4791

 

Hadith 313: Muhammad says buying a dog is as bad as prostitution

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #313 Sunan Abu Dawud 3484 'Ali bin Rabah Al-Lakhmi narrated that he heard Abū Hurairah say: "The Messenger of Allah said: "The price of a dog, the fee of a fortune-teller, and the earnings of a Baghi (prostitute) are not permissible." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad equates buying a dog with prostitution.

As it's been medically proven that dogs improve one’s health, and Muhammad forbids them, I can therefore assume two things:

• Muhammad is a charlatan

• Fortunetelling and prostitution may also be good for me

SMH.

• Hadith #313: Sunan Abu Dawud 3484. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. See also Bukhari 5346.

 

Hadith 312: Muhammad says playing backgammon is like dipping your hand in the flesh and blood of a pig

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #312 Sunan Ibn Majah 3763 It was narrated from Sulaiman bin Buraidah from his father that the Prophet said:"Whoever plays backgammon, it is as if he dipped his hand in the flesh and blood of a pig." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn that playing backgammon is as bad as dipping your hand in the flesh and blood of a pig.

Mind you, this analogy is merely for playing backgammon. For betting while playing, there is another analogy involving eating pig. (Al-Adab al-Mufrad 1277)

Background: Nardashir, the term used in the hadith, is a Persian game nearly identical to current backgammon. The game uses two dice, and al-nard in Arabic came to mean both the game nardashir and the dice (or die) used. Current scholars typically extend the ban on backgammon as a ban on all games using dice.

Merely playing backgammon is considered a kabira (major sin) by some. So why is it so bad? No one is sure. I do not know of any hadith in which Muhammad gives a reason.

Scholars typically suggest one of two reasons:

• It is often gambled on

• It is frivolous

To support the case that backgammon is frivolous, scholars often cite a hadith in which Muhammad says there are only three worthwhile recreational activities (Ibn Majah 2811):

• Shooting arrows (jihad)

• Training your horse (jihad)

• Having sex with your wife (making jihadis)

• Hadith #312: Ibn Majah 3763. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. See also Muslim 2260.

 

Hadith 311: Culture pioneer Muhammad says it is better to be filled with pus than with poetry

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #311 Sahih al-Bukhari 6154 Narrated Ibn 'Umar The Prophet said, "It is better for a man to fill the inside of his body with pus than to fill it with poetry." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this moving and inspirational hadith, culture pioneer Muhammad tells Muslims that pus is better than poetry.

In another hadith, Muhammad says that this better-than-poetry pus even corrodes one’s stomach:

If the belly of one of you were to be filled with pus that corrodes it, that would be better than him being filled with poetry. (Muslim 2258)

Muhammad hated anything that could challenge Islam (such as u/RavanKiani’s poems) or divert Muslims from Islamic thoughts, and so he hated poetry. Muhammad's message in this hadith is that there should be nothing outside of Islam entering a Muslim's mind.

Muhammad eventually discovered that he could weaponize poetry to lampoon non-Muslims, and so he had poets create "Islamic poetry."

One of my favorite Islamic poems comes from Muhammad’s poet Hassan bin Thabit, who was reciting on the Muslims’ attack of Banu al-Nadir, where the Muslims’ burned down their trees as a terror tactic:

It was easy for the nobles of Banu Lu’ayy,

To burn Al-Buwayrah with sparks flying everywhere. (Muslim 1746b)

So peaceful. So beautiful.

• Hadith #311: Sahih al-Bukhari 6154

 

Hadith 310: Muhammad tells men to fast—in order to repress their libido

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #310 Sahih al-Bukhari 1905 Narrated 'Alqama: While I was walking with 'Abdullah: he said, "We were in the company of the Prophet and he said, 'He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him to lower his gaze (from looking at forbidden things and other women), and save his private parts (from committing illegal sexual acts etc.), and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to observe Saum (fasting), as Saum (fasting) will restrain his sexual power." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this enlightened hadith, Muhammad thinks men are so lascivious and incapable of self-control that they should physically weaken their bodies in order to sexually restrain themselves.

Of course Muhammad is most likely projecting unto all men his own inability for self-control.

Unfortunately, Islamic law is based on the presumption that Muslim men cannot be expected to exert basic self-control. And that is why men are legally entitled to sex from their wives at any given moment, for which the punishment for nushooz (disobedience) is a beating. (Quran 4:34)

• Hadith #310: Sahih al-Bukhari 1905

 

Hadith 309: Muhammad tells his own wife: “May you become barren and shaven-headed”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #309 Sahih Muslim 1211ag (3228) [3228] 387 - (...) It was narrated that 'Aishah said: "When the Prophet wanted to depart, he saw Safiyyah at the door of her tent, looking sad and sorrowful. He said: '(May you become) barren and shaven-headed, you are going to detain us.' Then he said to her: 'Did you perform Tawaf Al-Ifâḍah on the Day of Sacrifice?' She said: 'Yes.' He said: "Then depart."" Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this disturbing hadith, Muhammad tells his wife Safiyya: "Aqra halqa" (May you become barren and shaven-headed).

What was Safiyya’s transgression? She menstruated at an inconvenient time for Muhammad.

Aqra halqa is an offensive remark meant “for insulting women.” It is said to a woman who is “sinister and harmful.” And while aqra on its own can mean “barren,” the classical Arabic dictionaries I have consulted (10+) state that aqra, in the context of this specific insult, means asking that the woman be harmed or killed.

Halqa, in the context of this insult, can mean “shaven-headed” or “having your throat harmed.” Together, aqra halqa can also mean asking for the woman’s “demise/death.” (Ibn Abbad’s Al-Muhit fil Lughah, 168)

This hadith appears six times in Sahih al-Bukhari (1561, 1762, 1771, 1772, 5329, 6157), and yet all three English translations of Sahih al-Bukhari fail to translate it, keeping it in Romanized Arabic.

The Khan translation’s disingenuous glossary “definition” of aqra halqa is: “It is just an exclamatory expression, the literal meaning of which is not meant always. It expresses disapproval.”

And yet it is the concealment itself, carried out by the Muslim translators of Sahih al-Bukhari, that is a testament to the wrongfulness of Muhammad’s vile insult to his own wife.

How low are Muslims willing to set the bar for judging the Perfect Man’s behavior?

• Hadith #309: Sahih Muslim 1211ag (3228)

 

Hadith 308: Muhammad, the homophobe prophet, says Muslims will face destruction if they accept gay relationships

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #308 Al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman 5086 Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Messenger of Allah said, "If my  ummah (nation) accepts five things then it will face destruction: habitual cursing of one another, drinking wine, wearing silk, patronizing female singers, and men contenting themselves with men, and women with women. Classed qawi (strong) by al-Bayhaqi and hasan by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith of intolerance, Muhammad says the acceptance of gay relationships will lead to the destruction of the entire Muslim nation.

And in such a case, the only hope for the ummah’s survival is if Muslims do not also wear silk shirts.

Sometimes the stupidity is breathtaking.

• Hadith #308: Al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman 5086. Classed qawi (strong) by al-Bayhaqi and hasan by al-Albani.

 

Hadith 307: Muhammad says Allah gives more blessings to the right side of the prayer row

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #307 Sunan Abu Dawud 676 'Aishah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "Allāh and His Angels send Salāt (blessings) upon the right side of the rows." Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

As every Muslim knows, Muhammad loves the right side and hates the left side. That is why he has something ignoble, like wiping one’s butt, done with one’s left hand, but has something noble, like slave ownership, as being what “one's right hand possesses.”

In this wise hadith, Muhammad explains that, in the mosque, Allah and His angels give their blessings to the right side of the prayer rows.

While the hadith’s phrasing implies that the right side is the side that receives blessings and not the left, all the sharhs (hadith commentaries) I have read state that the left side of the row also receives blessings, just fewer. It is simply too ridiculous to take the hadith at its apparent meaning.

This hadith also touches on how Muhammad makes luck a significant part of Islamic prayer.

In most cases, the luck component is Muhammad’s tactic to get Muslims to pray more (e.g., the more raffle tickets you buy, the more likely you’ll win):

• Do you time your amin with when the angels say it? Then Allah will forgive all your previous sins

• Do you give a dua at just the right unknown time on Friday? Then Allah will give you what you ask for

• Do you guess correctly which night Laylat al-Qadr is? Then Allah will give you close to 30,000x (1,000 months) the reward for those prayers

• Do you wake up and pray at just the right time in the middle of the night when Allah descends to the lowest heaven? Then Allah will grant your wishes, answer your calls and forgive your sins

And now, do you happen to be on the right side of the prayer row? Then Allah will give you extra blessings. (The absolute dream position is to be on the right side in the front row. Ibn Majah 997)

Islamic gambling.

• Hadith #307: Sunan Abu Dawud 676. Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 306: Muhammad says that the virgins of Paradise wear 70 layers of see-through clothes

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #306 Musnad Ahmad 8542 Narrated Abu Hurairah:The Prophet said, "A man of the people of Paradise shall have two wives from the wide-eyed houris. Each one will wear seventy garments, with the marrow of her shin visible from behind the clothes." Classed sahih by al-Arna'ut

 

Muhammad accomplishes two things through this description:

• First, by having the houris wear 70 layers of clothing, he appeals to the importance Islam places on covering up women.

• Second, by having the clothes see-through, allowing Muslim men to see their full-breasted (Quran 78:33) houris naked, Muhammad appeals to the importance Islam places on men’s sexual gratification.

It should be noted that with human women, men can see only their naked skin. But because houris are so pure and transparent, like a ruby (Quran 55:58), men can see through houris’ flesh all the way to the bone. This is a common description of houris throughout the Hadith canon.

Also, the two houris mentioned in this and other hadiths is typically seen by scholars as the bare minimum a Muslim man will have in Paradise (Muslim 188), with seventy-two typically considered the maximum (Tirmidhi 1663).

Muhammad, an expert puppeteer, knows exactly how to pull the strings of young men.

• Hadith #306: Musnad Ahmad 8542. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 305: When entering the toilet, pray for Allah’s protection from toilet-prowling devils. After going to the toilet, pray for Allah’s forgiveness

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #305 Sahih Muslim 375a (831) [831] 122 - (375) It was narrated from Anas that when the Messenger of Allâh entered the area in which he relieved himself, he would say: "Allâhumma, innî a'ûdhu bika min al-khubuthi wal-khabâ'ith (O Allâh, I seek refuge in You from the male and female devils.)" Sunan Abu Dawud 30 'Aishah narrated that when the Prophet exited the toilet (Al- Gha'it), he would say: "Ghufranak (I seek your forgiveness)." (Saḥiḥ)

 

In these glorious hadiths, we first learn the important lesson that devils hang around toilets and that we need to seek Allah’s protection from them. (See also Abu Dawud 6.)

We then learn that when exiting the toilet we must seek Allah’s forgiveness. But forgiveness for what? There is no obvious answer.

Whenever I think of needing forgiveness after going to the toilet, I think of Joey Chestnut the afternoon of July 4.

But I have read three explanations for why Muhammad seeks Allah's forgiveness:

1. Because it is makruh (disliked) if not haram (forbidden) to mention Allah in the toilet, we seek forgiveness afterward for not remembering Him. (So we must ask forgiveness to Allah for obeying Allah?!) (Al-Khattabi, Ma'alimus Sunan 1/22)

2. The whole process of eating, digestion and defecation is so wonderful, we can never give sufficient thanks to Allah for it, and so we ask Allah for forgiveness for our insufficient thanks (Al-Khattabi, Ma'alimus Sunan 1/23)

3. Going to the toilet reminds us of sinning, and so we ask forgiveness for our remembered sinning (Ibn Uthaymin, Majmu Fatawa wa Rasa'il 11/107)

None of those reasons strike me as credible. I suspect that Muhammad was simply asking forgiveness for doing an impure hadath asghar (defecation, urination, farting).

And Allah knows best.

• Hadith #305: Sahih Muslim 375a (831). Classed sahih by Imam Muslim. Sunan Abu Dawud 30. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 304: Muhammad says a talking neck of Fire will terrorize artists on the Day of Judgment

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #304 Jami al-Tirmidhi 2574 Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "Some of the Fire (in the shape of a long neck) will come out of the Fire on the Day of Judgement. It will have two eyes which can see, two ears which can hear, and a tongue which can speak. It will say: 'I have been left in charge of three: Every obstinate oppressor, everyone who called upon a deity besides Allāh, and the image makers." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn of the doom awaiting artists on the Day of Judgment. This is the day when the dead are resurrected from their tailbones, and Allah sends everyone to either Heaven or Hell.

On this day, fire from Hell will form into the shape of a talking neck with eyes, ears and a tongue. This talking Hellfire will let tyrants, polytheists and artists know who will be their dominator in Hell. (As an aside, in Islamic theology Hell is a sentient talking being.)

Muhammad believes that artists are some of the most evil people in the world. He believes that they are not merely trying to depict what they draw or make—but rather artists are trying to recreate Allah’s creations—and that is a huge sin.

In Islam, artists are put in the same category as tyrants.

In Islam, a jihadi who gives the world bloodshed goes to Heaven, and an artist who gives the world beauty goes to Hell.

• Hadith #304: Jami al-Tirmidhi 2574. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

Hadith 303: “Why, don’t you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #303 Sahih al-Bukhari 5080 Narrated Jabir bin Abdullāh Lag: When I got married, Allah's Messenger said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron." He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?" Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this noble hadith, Muhammad, an “exalted standard of character,” reveals what he finds important in selecting a lifetime partner, a wife:

★ Fondling a young girl

• Hadith #303: Sahih al-Bukhari 5080

 

Hadith 302: Muhammad reveals laughable seven deadly sins of Islam. Includes fleeing the battlefield, sorcery and banking

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #302 Sahih al-Bukhari 2766 Narrated Abu Hurairah The Prophet said, "Avoid the seven great destructive sins." The people enquired, "O Allah's Messenger! What are they?" He said, "(1) To join others in worship along with Allah; (2) To practise sorcery, (3) To kill the life which Allah has forbidden except for a just cause, (according to Islamic law); (4) To eat up Riba (1) (usury); (5) To eat up an orphan's wealth; (6) To show one's back to the enemy and fleeing from the battlefield at the time of fighting, and (7) To accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching chastity and are good believers." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this momentous hadith, Muhammad reveals Islam's seven deadly sins.

Muhammad’s list:

1. Oops, Muhammad forgot about atheists

2. Sorcery isn’t real

3. “Do not kill” with a big asterisk (non-Muslims, gays, apostates, adulterers excluded)

4. Riba is any interest. I’m committing a deadly sin earning 1% in my savings account

5. I agree. Stealing from an orphan is wrong. Instead, how about a general “Do not steal”

6. Of course there has to be one on jihad

7. This relates to Aisha. How about a general “Do not slander.” Even better, “Do not lie”

“Or do they say, ‘He has fabricated it’? Say, ‘Then produce seven deadly sins like it.’”

1. Murder (so so many)

2. Slavery (30+ slaves)

3. Rape (4 sex slaves)

4. Thievery (caravan raids)

5. Extortion (jizya)

6. Child molestation (Aisha)

7. Animal brutality (Medina dog massacre)

• Hadith #302: Sahih al-Bukhari 2766. See also IslamQA’s The seven sins that doom a person to Hell.

 

Hadith 301: Muhammad says Friday was always Allah’s commanded holy day. But Jews and Christians, apparently insane, told Allah they refuse to do Friday

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #301 Sahih al-Bukhari 876 Narrated Abu Hurairah I heard Allah's Messenger saying, "We (Muslims) are the last (to come) but (will be) the foremost on the Day of Resurrection though the former nations were given the Scripture before us. And this was their day (Friday) the celebration of which [i.e. religious ceremonies like Khutba (religious talk)], (Jumu'ah prayer etc.) was made compulsory for them but they differed about it. So, Allah gave us the guidance for it (Friday) and all the other people are behind us in this respect: the Jews' (holy day is) the following day (i.e. Saturday) and the Christians' (is) the day after the following day (i.e. Sunday)." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this illuminating hadith, Muhammad explains that Friday isn’t some “leftover�? holy day that the Muslims took. Friday was always Allah’s favorite day.

But then why isn’t it the holy day of the Jews or Christians?

Muhammad’s answer: Allah specifically ordered the Jews and Christians to make it their holy day. But Jews and Christians, apparently totally insane, refused to obey Allah on which day of the week will be holy for Allah.

Muhammad’s explanation is implausible and reeks of insecurity. If I am worshipping Allah, who has the power to eternally torture me, and Allah tells me to take Friday as a holy day, I’m going to do it. I’m not going to say, “Nah, I’m not doing Friday, Allah. I’m only doing Saturday or Sunday.�?

It is remarkable the ease at which Muhammad fabricates stories that degrade others—in order to build up himself and Islam.

As an aside, it’s strange how my mind once worked. I believed that Allah’s prophet could be a murderer, but only a charlatan could be a liar. And Muhammad’s lying, especially when used to degrade non-Muslims, was one of the early cracks in the wall for me.

Sometimes evil is subtle.

• Hadith #301: Sahih al-Bukhari 876

 

HOTD 300: Muhammad says in Heaven you will eat enormous birds that look like fluffy camels

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #300  Musnad Ahmad 13311  Narrated Anas bin Malik:  The Messenger of Allah said, "Indeed, a bird of Paradise is like a Bukht camel, grazing on the trees of Paradise." Abu Bakr said, "O Messenger of Allah, indeed this bird seems sumptuous." He said, "Those who eat it are more sumptuous," repeating it three times, "and I hope you will be one of those who eats it, O Abu Bakr."  Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan by al-Albani

 

In this awe-inspiring hadith, Muhammad explains one of Heaven’s meat-eating options: the bird of Paradise (not to be confused with Earth's bird-of-paradise).

This particular bird will be like a Bukht camel, a bigger and more attractive camel than the Arabian camel, and it has a big, luxurious fluffy neck. This big bird will fly around, eating from the trees of Heaven, which are themselves enormous.

In fact, Heaven’s Tuba tree is so big that it would take a rider over 100 years to travel its distance (Bukhari 3251). And just one of its grapes can feed an entire tribe (Ahmad 17642). People are much bigger in Heaven too, about 90 feet tall (Ibn Majah 4333).

While I find it preposterous that we would eat physical animals in the spiritual world, I also want to know:

How does one kill a bird in Heaven?

• HOTD #300: Musnad Ahmad 13311. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 299: The perks of being Muhammad’s child-bride: Part 2

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #299  Jami al-Tirmidhi 132  'Aishah narrated that: "When I would menstruate, Allah's Messenger ordered me to wear a waist wrap, then he would fondle me.'  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn more of Aisha, the youngest of the Mothers of the Believers.

Oh to be Aisha: a child-bride fondled while she is menstruating—by a man old enough to be her grandpa.

And after nine years of being penetrated and fondled by Muhammad, her reward is that she is left both childless and forbidden to remarry (just like Muhammad’s eight other widows).

The Arabic word bashara, translated here as “fondle,” can mean any sexual activity, including thighing. Bashara can also mean sex, but in the context of this hadith it means activity short of sex. The meaning might be better expressed as, “and then he would go at it.”

"The perks of being Muhammad’s child-bride: Part 1" was HOTD 327, in which Aisha would scrape off Muhammad’s semen stains from his clothes before he would pray in them.

In Aisha’s life, the two hadiths are directly related.

• HOTD #299: Jami al-Tirmidhi 132. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 298: Muhammad says the End of the World will come when a black man destroys the Kaba

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #298  Sahih al-Bukhari 1595, 1596  (49) CHAPTER. The demolishing of the Ka'bah.  Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet said, "As if I am looking at him, a black person with thin legs plucking out the stones of the Ka'bah one after another.  Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah's Messenger said, "Dhus- Suwaiqatain (the thin-legged man) from Ethiopia will demolish the Ka'bah."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad discusses one of the signs of the Hour (the End of the World): a black man with skinny calves will destroy Islam’s most sacred building: the Kaba, the big black cube in Mecca’s Sacred Mosque.

This is part of a tedious story in which an army will attack the Kaba, but Allah will swallow up the entire army into the earth (Bukhari 2118). But then Muslims, being neglectful of the sanctity of the Kaba, will allow Mecca to be overrun by Ethiopians (Ahmad 7910). This will allow the skinny-calved Ethiopian to destroy the Kaba.

But why would he take the stones out “one after another?” (with a spade and pick-axe according to one hadith: Ahmad 7053).

This is incredibly inefficient. The Kaba is four stories high and its walls are a meter thick. It would take him months to get the job done.

Wouldn’t a real prophet have prophesied explosives?

• HOTD #298: Sahih al-Bukhari 1595, 1596

 

HOTD 297: "Defensive" jihad: Part 1—The Battle of Khaibar

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #297  Sahih al-Bukhari 947  Narrated Anas bin Malik:  Allah's Messenger offered the Fajr prayer when it was still dark, then he rode and said, Allahu Akbar! Khaibar is ruined. When we approach near a nation, the most evil will be the morning of those who had been warned." The people came out into the streets saying, "Muhammad and his army." Allah's Messenger vanquished them by force and their warriors were killed; the children and women were taken as captives. Şafiya was taken by Dihya Al-Kalbi and later she belonged to Allah's Messenger who married her and her Mahr was her manumission.  Classed as sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Muslim apologists typically argue that Muhammad’s battles, which almost always occur in other people's land, are defensive. The Battle of Khaibar is one of the most famous examples.

The Hadith canon describes the Battle of Khaibar in entirely offensive terms. The Jews of Khaibar obviously did not attack the Muslims. This hadith makes obvious that they were taken by surprise by the Muslims’ attack in pre-dawn darkness.

The apologetics are simple. Per the Seera (biographies of Muhammad), Muslims allege that the Khaibar Jews were plotting to attack Medina, and this was a necessary preemptive attack by the Muslims. Remarkably, even this biased viewpoint is unsupported by any authentic hadiths of which I’m aware. And, of course, we never hear the other side of the story.

But why waste time on the Hadith or Seera when Muhammad—I mean Allah—explains the Battle of Khaibar in the Quran (48:18-20):

Allah was pleased with the believers when they pledged allegiance to you under the tree (Al-Hudaibiyya). He…rewarded them with an expeditious victory (Khaibar),

And with much booty (Khaibar) they were to take. Allah is Almighty, All-Wise,

Allah promised you [Muslims] much booty that you would take, so He expedited this (Khaibar) for you…

Allah specifically states that He “promised�? Muslims “much booty�? after Al-Hudaibiyya (three months prior), and so He "expedited�? the promised war booty with the Battle of Khaibar.

For an all-merciful creator of two trillion galaxies, "Allah" sure seems obsessed with war booty.

• HOTD #297: Sahih al-Bukhari 947

 

HOTD 296: Muhammad says you can literally see the bones of the virgins of Paradise through their flesh

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #296  Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir 10321  Narrated Abdullah Ibn Masud: The Prophet said, "The first group to enter Paradise will have their faces as bright as the full moon at night. The second group will be imbued like the most brilliant star in the sky. Each man amongst them shall have two wives from the wide-eyed houris. Each wife will wear seventy garments, and the marrow of her shin can be seen beneath her flesh just as a red drink can be seen in a white glass."  Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this inspirational hadith, Muslim men learn an important lesson about the virgin houris they receive in Paradise: you can literally see their bones.

This houri feature is well documented in the Hadith canon. However, Muslims often state that the words “to see the marrow of the shin from beneath the flesh” is simply a metaphor to describe the extraordinary beauty and whiteness of houri skin—that their skin approaches translucence.

But this hadith shows that the meaning is literal. Muhammad specifically states that “the marrow of her shin can be seen beneath her flesh just as a red drink can be seen in a white (clear) glass.” This comparison indicates the bone can literally be seen, just as red wine can literally be seen through glass.

In HOTD 306, Muslim men learn they will literally see through the 70 layers of clothes that houris wear.

In today’s hadith, Muslim men learn that they can keep on looking past their houris’ clothes, literally all the way to the bone.

• HOTD #296: Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir 10321. Classed sahih by al-Albani. See also Sahih al-Bukhari 3254.

 

HOTD 295: Muhammad says he was going to tie up a demon and show it off to everyone—proving his prophethood—but then conveniently doesn’t do it

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #295  Sahih al-Bukhari 3423  Narrated Abu Hurairah : The Prophet said, "A strong demon from the jinns came to me yesterday suddenly, so as to spoil my Salat (prayer), but Allah enabled me to overpower him, and so I caught him and intended to tie him to one of the pillars of the mosque so that all of you might see him, but I remembered the invocation of my brother Sulaiman " (Solomon): ...And bestow upon me a kingdom such as shall not belong to any other after me...' (V.38:35) So, I let him go disgraced."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

This glorious hadith is the first in a three-day series of a special category of Hadith: the Muhammad-says-he can-do-something-proving-his-prophethood-but-then-doesn’t-do-it category.

In this hadith, Muhammad was going to tie a demon (an afreet, an especially strong and evil jinn) to the mosque pillar and show off his captured demon to everyone. Now had Muhammad actually done this, it would have been undeniable proof of his prophethood.

Every single person in the city would have shared to everyone their eyewitness account of a demon tied to the mosque pillar, and it would be the most recurring tradition in the entire Hadith canon.

But alas, Muhammad doesn’t tie the demon up. Instead, he remembers a verse from the Quran, which recounts a prior instance of where a prophet got the upper hand over a jinn, sending Muhammad’s demon away humiliated.

The verse itself (38:35) is part of a story where Solomon went to the toilet and left his magic ring with his wife. An evil jinn, disguised as Solomon, then stole it from the wife and took over the throne. Without the magic ring, Solomon lost his power. Solomon eventually got the ring back from the jinn, took back the throne, and said to Allah, “And bestow upon me a kingdom…”

But there is another possibility: Muhammad didn’t tie up the demon because he is a charlatan who made it up all up.

• HOTD #295: Sahih al-Bukhari 3423

 

HOTD 294: Muhammad was going to grab grapes from Heaven to bring back to Earth—proving his prophethood—but then conveniently doesn’t do it (and what acting!)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #294  Sahih Muslim 907a (2109)  [2109] 17 - (907) It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbâs said: "The sun was eclipsed at the time of the Messenger of Allâh, and the Messenger of Allâh prayed and the people with him. He stood for a long time, almost as long as it takes to recite Sûrat Al-Baqarah.... They said: 'O Messenger of Allâh, we saw you reaching out to take something when you were standing, then we saw you refrain.' He said: 'I saw Paradise, and I reached out to take a bunch of grapes from it. If I had taken it, you would have eaten from it for as long as this world remained....  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

This glorious hadith is second in a three-day series of a special category of Hadith: the Muhammad-says-he can-do-something-proving-his-prophethood-but-then-doesn’t-do-it category.

In this hadith, Muhammad nearly brings the world iron-clad proof of Islam’s truth: Heavenly grapes (or maybe that means houris 😉) that last an eternity.

Had Muhammad brought back these eternal grapes, there would be proof right now, in the 21st century, of Islam’s truth. There would be no need for 1400 years of violent jihad.

But of course Muhammad decides to not bring back the grapes. Muhammad explains:

I stretched out my hand and I wanted to pick some of its fruits so that you could see them, then I thought that I should not do that. (Muslim 904c)

Great explanation, Muhammad. So you thought endless jihad was the better way of selling Islam.

But now let’s discuss Muhammad’s acting. Please someone invent a time travel machine so we can record Muhammad pretending to reach for grapes in Heaven.

• HOTD #294: Sahih Muslim 907a (2109). The end of the hadith includes extraordinary misogyny from Muhammad. This will be addressed in a future HOTD.

 

HOTD 293: Muhammad says he can turn a mountain into gold—proving his prophethood—but then conveniently doesn’t do it

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #293  Musnad Ahmad 2166  It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbas() said: Quraish said to the Prophet(): Pray to your Lord and ask Him to make as- Safa gold for us, and we will believe in you. He said: "Will you do that?" They said: Yes. So he prayed, and Jibreel came to him and said: "Your Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, conveys greetings of salam to you and says to you: 'If you wish, as-Safa will become gold for them, then whoever among them disbelieves after that, I will punish him in a way that I have never punished anyone in the worlds. Or if you wish, I will open for them the gate of repentance and mercy."" He said: "Rather the gate of repentance and mercy.'"  Classed sahih by A. Shakir and  al-Arna'ut

 

This glorious hadith is the final installment in a three-day series of the special category: Muhammad-says-he can-do-something-proving-his-prophethood-but-then-doesn’t-do-it hadiths.

In this hadith, the Quraish pagans ask Muhammad to turn Mount Safa into gold, and if he does, the pagans say, “We will believe in you.”

So the pagans give Muhammad the perfect chance to peacefully demonstrate to them—and the world—that Islam is the truth and Muhammad is a prophet.

Muhammad then consults with “Allah,” and “Allah” tells him he has a choice:

1. Turn Safa into gold, but if the pagans still disbelieve after that, they'll be in super-big trouble

2. Give pagans time to repent—by converting to Islam—and thus receive Allah’s mercy (without risking super-big trouble if they continue to disbelieve)

Now this sounds like a no-brainer. Of course turn Safa into gold! Not only would the pagan Meccans absolutely believe, the whole world would believe in Islam when they see a solid gold mountain (more, a rocky hill). And as a bonus, we could avoid 1400 years of violent jihad.

But of course, Muhammad chooses not to turn the mountain into gold. And with this incident, he gets another Why-I-can’t-perform-miracles revelation (17:59):

And nothing stops Us from sending Signs (i.e., miracles) except that the people of old denied them.

And though completely able to perform miracles, “Allah” and Muhammad believe that violent jihad is a better way of spreading Islam than peaceful miracles.

• HOTD #294: Musnad Ahmad 2166. Classed sahih by Ahmad Shakir and al-Arna’ut. See also Ahmad 2333 for tie-in with Quran 17:59.

---

Fun Quran trivia: In at least ten Quran verses, Allah defends Muhammad’s inability to perform miracles (2:118, 3:183, 6:37, 10:20, 11:12, 13:7, 13:27, 20:133, 26:4, 29:50).

Allah’s most common defense is the skeptics wouldn’t believe it anyway (2:145, 17:59, 26:5, 28:48, 30:58, 37:14-15). He also adds that the Quran itself is a sufficient miracle (29:51).

 

HOTD 292: Muhammad explains who angels avoid. And it includes him!

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #292  Al-Bazzar, Kashf al-Astar 2930 Sunan al-Nasa'i 5088  Narrated Ibn Abbas:  The Prophet said, "There are three whom the angels do not come near: a person who is sexually impure, a person who is drunk, and a man who applies Khaluq on himself."  Narrated Zaid bin Aslam:  I saw Ibn Umar dyeing his beard yellow with Khaluq and I said: "O Abu Abdur- Rahman, are you dyeing your beard yellow with Khaluq?" He said: "I saw the Messenger of Allah dyeing his beard yellow with it, and there was no other kind of dye that was dearer to him than this. He used to dye all of his clothes with it, even his turban."  Both classed sahih by al-Albani

 

Three points:

1. Khaluq is a fragrant yellow dye made from saffron

2. Muhammad, a 60 year-old man trying to look young to 20 year-old women, can dye his beard and hair—but women who pluck their hair are cursed (Nasa’i 5102)

3. Yellowbeard from the 1983 movie reminds me of someone

• HOTD #292: Al-Bazzar, Kashf al-Astar 2930. Classed sahih by al-Albani. Sunan al-Nasa’i 5088. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 291: “Defensive” jihad, Part 2: the Attack on Banu Mustaliq

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #291  Sunan Abu Dawud 2633  Ibn 'Awn said: "I wrote to Nafi' asking him about calling the idolators (to accept Islam) before battle. He replied to me: 'It was in the early days of Islam, and Allah's Prophet initiated a surprise attack on Banu Al-Muṣṭalaq, taking them completely by surprise, and they were taking their cattle to the water to drink. He killed the fighters, and took captives. On that day, Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith was captured. 'Abdullah narrated that to me, and he was part of that army.  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

Muslim apologists typically argue that Muhammad’s battles, which almost always occur in other people's land, are defensive.

In addition to the Battle of Khaibar (HOTD 297), the attack on the pagan tribe (banu) of al-Mustaliq is an example of Islamic “defensive” jihad in other people’s land.

The Hadith canon describes the Attack on Banu Mustaliq in entirely offensive terms. Banu Mustaliq never attacked the Muslims. It was an obvious surprise attack by the Muslims.

The apologetics are simple. Exactly like the Battle of Khaibar, Muslims allege in the Seera (biographies of Muhammad) that Banu Mustaliq was plotting to attack Medina, and this was a necessary preemptive attack by the Muslims. Remarkably, even this biased viewpoint is unsupported by any authentic hadiths of which I’m aware. And, of course, we never hear the other side of the story.

In fact, the fuqaha (Islamic jurisprudents) use this hadith to address whether, having invited infidels to Islam at some point, do you need to warn and invite them again before attacking them. (Answer: no) That is entirely an issue of offensive jihad.

The authentic hadiths on Banu Mustaliq do teach us four key things:

1. It was a surprise attack on a heedless tribe (Abu Dawud 2633)

2. Muhammad gave his okay to his jihadis to rape their sex slaves without performing coitus interruptus (Bukhari 4138)

3. Muhammad got his gorgeous new wife Juwairiyya (her real name was Barra, Muhammad renamed her) from al-Mustaliq booty. She agreed to marry Muhammad instead of being a jihadi’s sex slave (Abu Dawud 3931)

4. The Dajjal (Anti-Christ) looks like a man from Banu Mustaliq (Bukhari 7026)

• HOTD #291: Sunan Abu Dawud 2633. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 290: Muhammad gives laughable excuse for not participating in his own battles—then overcompensates defending laughable excuse

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #290  Sahih al-Bukhari 2797  Narrated Abu Hurairah : The Prophet said, "By Him in Whose Hands my soul is! Were it not for some men amongst the believers who dislike to be left behind me and whom I cannot provide with means of conveyance, I would certainly never remain behind any Sariya (army-unit) going out for Jihad in Allah's Cause. By Him in Whose Hands my soul is! I would love to be martyred in Allah's Cause and then come back to life and then get martyred, and then come back to life again and then get martyred and then come back to life again and then get martyred."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Under Muhammad’s leadership, there were 80-90 army excursions/battles. Of these 80-90, Muhammad showed up to less than thirty and fought in less than ten (Zad al-Maad 1/125).

As this might make jihadis question Muhammad’s love for martyrdom, Muhammad has an answer for them, a laughable excuse:

Muhammad doesn’t have enough horses and camels to bring every jihadi to the battle. And then those jihadis left behind will feel bad with Muhammad gone. And so Muhammad needs to stay behind with them so they don't feel bad.

Just absorb that for a moment.

But it gets better. Muhammad, perhaps realizing how unconvincing that sounds, overcompensates by saying how desperately he wants to get martyred. O if only he could be martyred over and over and over again.

To paraphrase Muhammad:

By Allah, I would love to die while murdering non-Muslims, and then come back to life so I can die while murdering more non-Muslims, and then come back to life so I can die murdering even more non-Muslims, and then come back again so I can die murdering even more non-Muslims. But only if no jihadis feel left out—which there always will be.

• HOTD #295: Sahih al-Bukhari 2797

 

HOTD 289: Muhammad says women should not go outside. It is best they stay in “the innermost part of their houses”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #289  Sahih Ibn Hibban 5599  Narrated Ibn Masud: The Prophet said, "A woman is awrah (nakedness), and if she  goes out, the Shaitan gets his hopes up. She is closest to her Lord when she is in the innermost part of her house."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this wise hadith, we learn that women are nakedness, even when covered. And if a woman is not embarrassed by her nakedness and willing to go outside, then Satan gets his hopes up to lead her into sin.

So Muhammad teaches that a woman should not only stay in her house, she should stay in the deepest, innermost part of her house.

But then why did Allah make sun exposure the primary source of crucial Vitamin D?

And Allah Muhammad knows best.

• HOTD #289: Sahih Ibn Hibban 5599. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. See also discussion in al-Albani's al-Silsilah al-Sahihah 2688.

 

HOTD 288: Even the victim thinks Muhammad is barbaric for cutting off the thief’s hand

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #288  Sunan al-Nasa'i  4883, 4886  It was narrated from Safwân bin Umayyah that a man stole his Burdah, so he brought him before the Prophet, who ordered that his hand be cut off. He said: "O Messenger of Allâh, I will let him have it." He said: "O Abû Wahb! Why didn't you do that before you brought him to me?" And the Messenger of Allâh had (the man's) hand cut off.  It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbâs said: .... the Prophet, who ordered that his hand be cut off. Safwân said: 'O Messenger of Allâh, my Ridâ' is not worth cutting off a man's hand for.....  Both classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In these glorious hadiths, a conflict plays out, one that occurs millions of times each day: a Muslim’s innate sense of morality conflicts with Muhammad’s barbarity.

Background: In Quran 5:38, “Allah” decides the Arab pagan practice (Tafsir Ibn Kathir) of chopping off hands for thievery is divine perfection, and He reveals the pagan practice as Divine Law to Muhammad.

In these hadiths, Safwan, whose kunya name is Abu Wahb, has his burdah or rida (an upper garment) stolen. He catches the thief and brings him to Muhammad, who orders the thief's hand chopped off.

Safwan is horrified and tells Muhammad, “My rida is not worth cutting off a man’s hand for" and “I will let him have it (the rida).” But Muhammad, a “mercy to the worlds” (Quran 21:107) cuts off the thief’s hand anyway.

Muhammad’s statement “Why didn’t you do that before you brought him to me?” refers to Muhammad’s belief that a crime merits punishment only if Muhammad (or the relevant imam) knows about it (“If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”).

If Muhammad doesn’t know about it, then it is Allah, al-Sitteer (the Concealer), concealing the crime, a great mercy from Him. In Islam, it is sunna to hide one’s crimes (Bukhari 6069) and the crimes of other Muslims (Muslim 2699), unless the Muslim is known to be a habitual evildoer.

It is remarkable that the average Muslim is more moral than the Perfect Man himself.

• HOTD #288: Sunan al-Nasa’i 4883, 4886. Both classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 287: Muhammad says in Hell, Allah burns sinful Muslims into coal. The burnt coal is then sent to Heaven and spread on river banks where people water it. The Muslims “sprout like seeds” from this wet coal

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #287  Sahih Muslim 185a (459)  [459] 306 - (185) It was narrated that Abû Sa'eed said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'As for the people of the Fire who are its inhabitants, they will neither die nor live therein. But some people among you will be afflicted with the Fire because of their sins. Allâh, Most High, will cause them to die a kind of death therein, then when they have turned into coal, permission will be given for intercession. They will be brought out, group after group, and spread along the rivers of Paradise. Then it will be said: 'O people of Paradise, pour water on them.' And they will sprout like seeds in what was carried by the flood." A man said: "It is as if the Messenger of Allâh has been in the desert."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this awe-inspiring hadith, we learn three important Islamic lessons:

1. Hell is temporary for sinful Muslims. (See also Bukhari 7510.) So while Allah eternally tortures Nelson Mandela in Hell, Allah will send Haseem Amir and Faizan Majeed, pedophile ringleaders of a Punjab child sex abuse gang, into Paradise with at least two virgin houris each

2. Sinful Muslims are first burnt to a crisp in Hell. Their charcoal remains are then shipped to Paradise and spread along river banks. People in Paradise then pour river water on the charcoal remains, from which the Muslims’ bodies sprout like seeds (growing to 90 feet tall—Ibn Majah 4333)

3. You can fool some people all of the time

• HOTD #287: Sahih Muslim 185a (459)

 

HOTD 286: Muhammad finds excuse to dye hair. FYI Muhammad: Jews and Christians also don’t wear nose rings

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #286  Sahih al-Bukhari 5899  Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet said, "Jews and Christians do not dye their hair so you should do the opposite of what they do. Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Three points:

1.  

Muhammad demonstrates remarkable hypocrisy. He says women “who change the creation of Allah” by plucking their hair are cursed (Nasa’i 5255). And yet, Muhammad, who changes his hair color is somehow not cursed.

2.

Dyeing his grey hair gives Muhammad, a 60 year-old man married to wives in their teens and 20’s, a younger and hipper appearance. He is recorded dyeing his hair yellow khaluq (Nasai 5088, HOTD 292), red henna (Bukhari 166) and red-black katam, which in combination with henna is his preferred hair dye (Ibn Majah 3622, 3623).

Muhammad forbade pure black (presumably soot) and gave no recorded reason for this prohibition. Scholars argue that it must be because dyeing hair black involves deception. While possible, it can also be because it involves using a product created by fire, which Muhammad states, even on Earth, originates from Hell. (Muhammad also states that one must perform ablution after eating food touched by fire, but he himself violates this prohibition.)

In any case, by dyeing grey hair, a symbol of old age, Muhammad is giving himself a more youthful and hip appearance by “changing the creation of Allah.”

3.

Allah’s goal, as stated in Quran 9:29, is to have those non-Muslims unwilling to convert be a) murdered, or b) extorted and humilated (jizya). To facilitate this kind of inhumanity, it is important that Muslims not empathize with non-Muslims.

To prevent empathy, Muhammad, most blatantly, forbids Muslims from associating with non-Muslims (Abu Dawud 4832). More subtley, he has Muslims dress and act differently than non-Muslims, with the sole stated reason being to differ from them. Some examples include clothes color (Muslim 2077a), praying in shoes (Abu Dawud 652), fasting Ashura (Abu Dawud 2445), and funeral customs (Abu Dawud 3176)

There is also a famous hadith (Abu Dawud 4031): "Whoever imitates a people, he is one of them." However, its authenticity is contested, with it classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and daif by al-Arna'ut.

While this hair dyeing hadith is typical embarrassingly self-serving Muhammad behavior, its sinister effect of making Muslims as dissimilar as possible from non-Muslims is what most bothers me.

• HOTD #286: Sahih al-Bukhari 5899

 

HOTD 285: Muhammad says award competitions are allowed only for activities that promote killing non-Muslims (i.e., jihad)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #285  Sunan al-Nasa'i 3616  It was narrated from Abû Hurairah that the Messenger of Allâh said: "There should be no awards (for victory in a competition) except on arrows, camels or horses."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut  Commentary  That is because these activities are the tools in fighting the enemy.  And by extending a reward to someone, it encourages jihad and incitement for it.  Al-Khattabi, Ma'alimus Sunan 2/255

 

Words from the scholar al-Khattabi:

The correct message in this hadith is that the “award” is established by Allah. He intends that reward and recognition not be given except in the racing of horses, camels and the like, and in the “arrow,” which is archery. That is because these activities are the tools in fighting the enemy. And by extending a reward to someone, it encourages jihad and incitement for it. Al-Khattabi, Ma'alimus Sunan 2/255

The Religion of Peace gives awards solely for competitions that promote violence.

• HOTD #285: Sunan al Nasa’i 3616. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 284: Muhammad says many men have become perfect, but only two women

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #284  Sahih al-Bukhari 3769  Narrated Abû Mûsâ Al-Ash'ari: Allah's Messenger said, "Many amongst men attained perfection but amongst women none attained the perfection except Maryam (Mary), the daughter of 'Imrän, and Asiya, the wife of Fir'aun (Pharaoh). And the superiority of 'Aishah to other women is like the superiority of Tharid (i.e., an Arabic dish) to other meals."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

This glorious hadith has so much in it, where to begin:

1.  

Muhammad believes in the moral superiority of men

Muhammad says that there are many men, obviously too long a list for Muhammad to convey, who have reached perfection, but only two women have. Despite all the wars and violence men have caused, men are inherently morally superior.

Muhammad’s belief in men's moral superiority is why there are so many hadiths stating that women are the majority in Hell (Bukhari 3241) and minority in Heaven (Muslim 2738).

2.

Muhammad is likely confusing the two Mary’s as one person again

Allah believes that Mary, the mother of Jesus, is the same person as Mary, the daughter of Amram and sister of Moses and Aaron (Quran 19:28). This is despite the 1300 year difference between the two. (This will be addressed in a future HOTD.)

In this hadith, Muhammad is saying that “Mary, the daughter of Imran (Amram),” presumably sister of Moses, attained perfection. But the Mary who Muhammad says attained perfection was also a woman Allah was so furious with that Allah gave her leprosy for opposing Moses marrying an Ethiopian woman (Numbers 12:1).

In contrast, per Muhammad, Mary mother of Jesus is the only woman ever not touched by Satan at birth (Muslim 2366c). It seems that the one woman not touched by Satan would be the woman who attains perfection. It appears that “Allah” and Muhammad believe the two Mary’s are the same.

3.

Asiya?

Muhammad believes that Asiya, a woman whose story is remarkably similar to that of 4th century St. Catherine of Alexandria, is one of only two women to reach perfection in Abrahamic history. But this perfect Abrahamic woman is never mentioned in the Bible nor named in the Quran. There are about 150 women mentioned in the Bible, but the one who reached Abrahamic perfection is not mentioned once?!

4.

Aisha, an extremely jealous person prone to insulting others, is the best woman in the world

I have deep sympathy for Aisha, who was raped by Muhammad at age nine, and then left to be a childless 18-year old widow forbidden to remarry. But Aisha was the most mean-spirited of the wives.

She hurled a nasty insult at Muhammad’s dead wife, Khadija (Bukhari 3821). She smeared the wife Sawda with meat pudding (Abu Ya'la 4476). She purposefully broke a dish of another wife in jealousy (Tirmidhi 1359). She played a trick on Muhammad to hurt Hafsa (Bukhari 6972).

To single out Aisha, his favorite wife, as the best woman in the world is a stretch.

• HOTD #284: Sahih al-Bukhari 3769

 

HOTD 283: Good Friday: Jesus has a body-double crucified. The disciples murder one another. Allah deceives world for 600 years

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #283  Tafsir Ibn Abi Hatim 6233  Narrated Ibn Abbas:  Just before Allah raised Jesus to the heavens, Jesus went to his companions, and inside the house were the twelve disciples.... He then asked, "Which of you will be made to look like me and be killed in my stead?... Then he repeated it again and that young man stood up and said, "I (will do it)." He said: "You are the one." So he was caused to look like Jesus, and Jesus was lifted up from a window in the house to the heavens. When the Jews came demanding Jesus, they took the doppelgänger, and they killed and crucified him.  Some of them (the disciples) disbelieved in him twelve times after they had believed in him. They then divided into three groups [those who believe Jesus is Allah, those who believe he is Allah's son, and Muslims]....The two infidel groups deceived the Muslim group and killed them. Islam was then veiled until Allah sent Muhammad  Classed sahih by Ibn Kathir

 

Dear Christians,

Let me tell you the true Injil (Gospel).

This hadith is narrated from Muhammad’s Companion Ibn Abbas. It is consensus among the uluma that, as all Companions are adil (upright, just), if a Companion’s statement on religious matters cannot have come through his own reasoning or from Judeo-Christian traditions, then his statement is considered marfu (directly from Muhammad). This is such a case.

The Islamic Good Friday:

1. Jesus asks his disciples for a volunteer to be crucified in his place. An unnamed disciple volunteers

2. Allah, who describes himself as “the best of schemers,” (Quran 3:54) turns the unnamed disciple into Jesus’ body double

3. Due to Allah's deception, the Jews crucify the disciple, thinking he is Jesus. Allah actually sends Jesus through a window up to Heaven (Why is the deceptive crucifixion even necessary? Just send Jesus to Heaven)

4. Some disciples disbelieve in Jesus 12 times, and ultimately they split into three groups: a) those who believe Jesus is Allah, b) those who believe Jesus is Allah's son, and c) Muslims

5. The first two groups of disciples kill the Muslim disciples, and then Allah hides Islam from the world for 600 years. Allah’s deception and concealment causes Christian population to balloon to 40 million by Muhammad's time

6. After waiting 600 years and creating 40 million Christians, Allah finally tells the truth only to Muhammad: It was not Jesus, but a body double who was crucified

So Allah’s deception created the world’s largest religion, Christianity.

As to the disciple's identity at the center of Allah’s greatest hoax, IslamQA writes “Knowledge of this matter is of no great benefit; if we needed to know that, our Prophet would have told us.” It should be noted there are multiple hadiths of Muhammad telling us vinegar is a good condiment.

Only Muhammad can turn the story of Jesus into one where his disciples murder and Allah plays a massive 600-year hoax on humanity.

Per Christian tradition, all eleven disciples went out and preached their eyewitness accounts of the resurrection in a peaceful way, willingly suffering severe persecution and (all but John) ultimately being martyred, never even having a chance for war booty or sex slaves.

And Muhammad, master of the Torah and Injil, knows best.

• HOTD #283: Tafsir Ibn Abi Hatim 6233. Classed sahih by Ibn Kathir. See also IslamQA’s Who was the Person Made to Resemble Eesa (Jesus).

 

HOTD 282: Muhammad says the Dajjal (Antichrist) has “Kafir” written between his eyes. Six year-old boys laugh at the corniness

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #282  Sahih al-Bukhari 3439, 7408  Narrated 'Abdullah: The Prophet mentioned Al-Masih Ad-Dajjal in front of the people saying, "Allāh is not one- eyed while Al-Masiḥ Ad-Dajjal is blind in the right eye and his eye looks like a bulging out grape.  Narrated Anas: The Prophet  said, "Allah did not send any Prophet but that he warned his nation of the one-eyed liar (Ad-Dajjal). He is one-eyed while your Lord (Allah) is not one-eyed. The  word 'Kafir' (disbeliever) is written between his two eyes."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this awe-inspiring hadith, Muhammad physically describes the Dajjal, also known as the Antichrist.

Sometimes I am struck by Muhammad’s lack of imagination. The Dajjal is like a villain caricature in a TV cartoon targeted at young boys. But even these cartoons wouldn’t stoop to having “Bad Guy” written between the villain’s eyes.

So here’s how to recognize the Dajjal:

• “Kafir” will be written between his eyes (Bukhari 7408, Muslim 2934b)

• His blind right eye will look like a bulging grape (Bukhari 3439)

• He will be short, bow-legged and curly-haired (Abu Dawud 4320)

• He will be barrel-chested and hunchbacked with a wide forehead (Ahmad 7905)

• He will be followed by 70,000 Jews from Esfahan, Iran, wearing green cloaks (there are less than 10,000 Jews in all of Iran) (Muslim 2944)

• He will be carrying a river of water in one hand and a river of fire in the other. But don’t be fooled! The fire is actually the water and vice versa. So drink from the fire (Muslim 2935b)

• He will be riding a huge donkey, 60 feet between the donkey’s ears (Ahmad 14594, Al-Mustadrak 8613, classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi, but daif by al-Albani)

So here’s the thing. If I see a one-eyed man with kafir written on his forehead carrying rivers of water and fire with him, followed by 70,000 Jews in green cloaks, I’m pretty sure I’ll recognize him.

So why won’t the whole world recognize this? I’m sure it will be all over the internet when it happens, with plenty of references to Islamic prophecies. The scholar al-Nawawi explains why:

Allah will conceal it from everyone whom He decrees is doomed or whom He wants to test. There is no reason why this should be impossible. (Sharh Sahih Muslim 18/60)

Yes, nothing is impossible when you are not constrained by science, common sense, or morality— except human advancement.

Muhammad also states that “no prophet was sent but that he warned his followers against the one-eyed liar (Al-Dajjal).” One would then think that among the 70+ Biblical prophets, the Bible would be littered with prophets warning of the Dajjal, since as Muhammad says:

Between the creation of Adam and the onset of the Hour there is no creation that has more impact than the Dajjal. (Muslim 2946a)

And yet, I am aware of only one prophet (Daniel) mentioning an end-of-times evil figure. And even the Quran fails to mention the Dajjal, for which in the entire history of the world “there is no creation that has more impact.”

It is as if Muhammad just makes this up as he goes along.

Helpful tip for non-Muslims: As kafir is the one and only word etched on Islam’s most evil being, non-Muslims may want to take note how derogatory the word kafir actually is.

• HOTD #282: Sahih al-Bukhari 3439, 7408

 

HOTD 281: Muhammad says Allah rejects your prayers if you fart—until you wash your feet

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #281  Sahih al-Bukhari 6954  Narrated Abu Huraira  The Prophet said, "Allah does not accept prayer of anyone of you if he does Ḥadath (passes wind) till he performs the ablution (anew)."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad teaches that the Creator of 2 Trillion Galaxies rejects your prayers if you fart.

In fact, Allah will forever reject your prayers after a fart until you properly perform wudu (ablution). This involves pouring water over various parts of your body, at least once and ideally three times for most parts, also rinsing your mouth and nose.

There are many things that Muhammad says nullify wudu. These include defecating, urinating, farting, sleeping (because you may have farted), eating camel meat (HOTD 364), and touching your penis (HOTD 318).

The problem with wudu is that it is nonsensical. It is an act depicting physical cleansing, but it doesn’t properly clean you. It avoids one’s private parts, but it’s the private parts that are the cause of needing wudu.

Acknowledging that, Muslims argue that, well, it “spiritually�? cleans you, but any person—not obliged to obedience to Muhammad—would argue that meditation is a far better way of "spiritually" cleansing than washing your feet.

Ultimately, it boils down to: You do it because Muhammad said so. You do it because Muhammad says sins literally leave your body when you do it (Ibn Majah 282). You do it because Muhammad says the angels will stop praying for you if you don’t (HOTD 320).

You do it because a sex-slave owner —who says girl's urine is worse than boy's urine (HOTD 315) and that Allah gives you 100 points for killing a gecko (HOTD 354)—told you to.

• HOTD #281: Sahih al-Bukhari 6954

 

HOTD 280: Muhammad says to wipe your butt an odd number of times

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #280  Sahih Muslim 239 (565)  [239] Jābir b. 'Abdullah reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) saying: When anyone wipes himself with pebbles (after answering the call of nature) he should do this an odd number of times.  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this important religious teaching, OCD symptomatic (HOTD 344) Muhammad instructs us that we must wipe our butt an odd number of times.

As other hadiths make clear, by “odd number,” Muhammad means three or more, not just once.

Muhammad justifies his compulsion for wiping his butt an odd number times by saying that Allah Himself loves odd numbers:

When any one of you cleans himself with pebbles (after defecating), let him use an odd number, for Allah is Witr (One) and He loves that which is odd-numbered.

Musnad Ahmad 7345. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and Ahmad Shakir.

But for a divinity who supposedly loves odd numbers, Allah actually seems to favor even numbers. In fact, the bilateral symmetry of humans and animals is almost exclusively even numbers.

If Muhammad were truly an insightful Messenger, Muhammad would instead say that Allah loves symmetry. In addition to the bilateral symmetry found in animals (even numbers), there is the radial symmetry in plants (even and odd numbers). There is symmetry in the wallpaper patterns found in nature (e.g., hexagonal symmetry of honeycombs). There is symmetry in physics, such as the famous Poincaré symmetry of special relativity.

But if Muhammad says Allah loves odd numbers, so be it. And Allah Muhammad knows best.

• HOTD #280: Sahih Muslim 239 (565)

 

HOTD 279: Celebrated dog-hater Muhammad says Allah gives daily demerits for keeping a dog, reducing your chance of going to Heaven

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #279  Sahih al-Bukhari 5480  Narrated Ibn 'Umars:  The Prophet said, "Whoever keeps a (pet) dog which is neither a watch dog nor a hunting dog, will get a daily deduction of two Qirat from his good deeds."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

So the real question for me is:

• How many geckos can I kill daily, at 100 hasanas (merit points) per pop (HOTD 354), to offset two qirats of daily demerits from keeping a dog?

Sadly, no one knows the qirat-to-hasana conversion ratio. Muhammad only says that two qirats are “like two huge mountains.” (Bukhari 1325)

And Allah knows best.

• HOTD #279: Sahih al-Bukhari 5480. See also HOTD 338 and HOTD 313.

 

HOTD 278: Muhammad says he’s entitled to 20% of war booty for himself + a share for himself + a special portion for himself

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #278  Sunan Abu Dawud 2999  Yazid bin 'Abdullah said: .... We said: 'Give us this piece of leather that is in your hand.' He gave it to us, and we read what was on it. It said: 'From Muhammad the Messenger of Allah to Banu Zuhair bin Uqaish. If you bear witness that 'none has the right to be worshiped but Allah, and that Muḥammad is the Messenger of Allah, establish the Salat, pay the Zakat, pay the Khumus from the spoils of war, and give the share of the Prophet and the special portion (As-Safi), then you will be protected with the protection of Allah and His Messenger.' We said: 'Who wrote this document for you?' He said: "The Messenger of Allah.  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad outlines the four key religious principles that a tribe must follow to receive “protection.”

1. Shahada

2. Salat

3. Zakat

4. Pay Muhammad multiple cuts from war booty

While most Muslims are aware of Muhammad’s requirement that he get 20% of war spoils, this apparently is not enough for Muhammad.

He also gets any share that otherwise would have gone to a martyr or to a jihadi missing in action. Plus he gets al-Safi, a special portion just for him.

The scholar al-Khattabi explains:

As for “the share of the Prophet ﷺ” it is the share belonging to a man martyred on an occasion overseen by the Messenger of Allah ﷺ or who goes missing.

As for the “special portion (al-Safi),” it is what is chosen from the aggregated war booty before the khumus (⅕), such as a slave, a slave-girl, a horse, a sword or something else. And the Prophet ﷺ would take that along with the khumus, which belongs to him. (Ma'alimus Sunan 3/28-29)

And so the Unlettered Prophet helpfully “wrote this document” explaining exactly how to pay him protection money.

Islam and the mafia are remarkably analogous. 10 Ways the Mafia and Islam are Similar.

• HOTD #278: Sunan Abu Dawud 2999. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 277: Muhammad says drinking the fat of a sheep’s tail cures sciatica. Okay, let’s do a double blind clinical study on it. If untrue, Muhammad is a false prophet

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #277  Sunan Ibn Majah 3463  Anas bin Mâlik said: "I heard the Messenger of Allâh saying: 'The cure for sciatica is the fat from the tail of a Bedouin sheep (or wild sheep), which should be melted and divided into three parts, one part to be taken each day on an empty stomach."""  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

Muhammad says:

Allah does not send down any disease, but He also sends down the cure. (Ibn Majah 3439)

While my family is still looking for the cystic fibrosis cure Allah sent down, thankfully Allah let His Messenger know the cure for sciatica.

Sciatica is pain felt from the sciatic nerve that runs from the lower back down the leg. 90% of the time it is caused by spinal disc herniation, also known as a slipped disc. Muhammad says drinking fat of a sheep’s tail will cure it.

So this is easy to test. Conduct a double blind clinical trial—conducted by non-Muslim doctors, as Muslims are forbidden from refuting the Sunnah—and see if there is a statistically different outcome between those who drink the sheep-tail fat and those who drink a placebo.

A sahih hadith reveals a mawdu Sunnah.

• HOTD #277: Sunan Ibn Majah 3463. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 276: Muhammad says it’s more important to hide your naked body from Allah—even when alone—than from other people

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #276  Sunan Abu Dawud 4017  Chapter 2. Regarding Nudity  It was narrated from Bahz bin Ḥakim, from his father that his grandfather said: "I said: 'O Messenger of Allah, with regard to our Awrah, what may we uncover of it and what must we conceal?' He said: 'Cover your 'Awrah (completely) except from your wife and those whom your right hand possesses.' I said, 'O Messenger of Allah, what if the people live close together?' He said, 'If you can make sure that no one sees it, then do not let anyone see it.' I said, 'O Messenger of Allah, what if one of us is alone?' He said, 'Allah is more deserving that you should feel shy before Him than people."  Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad explains that Allah does not want to see your naked body—His own divinely perfect creation. It is actually more important to hide your awrah (nakedness) from Allah than from people.

Sometimes the stupidity is so high, there are no words.

Rather, I want to mention an irony within the hadith. In this hadith on pleasing Allah, Muhammad says a man need not hide his nakedness from his sex slaves (“those whom his right hand possesses”).

But Muhammad, what if the way to please Allah is to NOT OWN SEX SLAVES, to NOT RAPE HIS OWN CREATIONS, rather than worrying about being naked in front of Him?

• HOTD #276: Sunan Abu Dawud 4017. Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 275: Muhammad likens women to donkeys and dogs

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #275  Sunan Ibn Majah 950  Sahih Muslim 512d (1143)  It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet said: "The prayer is severed by a woman, a dog and a donkey."  [1143] 270 (...) It was narrated from 'Aishah that mention was made in her presence of that which interrupts the prayer - a dog, a donkey and a woman. 'Aishah said: "You have likened us to donkeys and dogs!...  Both classed sahih

 

In this glorious and deservedly famous hadith, Muhammad says that women, dogs and donkeys sever a prayer.

The hadith means that when one is praying (without an imam), and one of these three "creatures" passes in front of you—and you do not have a sutrah (an object, such as a saddle, that serves as a symbolic screen between you and others) in front you—then your prayer is severed.

Scholars differ on whether this is literal invalidation of a prayer, or rather a warning that these three "creatures" are particularly Satanic distractions to a man’s prayer.

Ibn Rajab explains why these three are singled out:

Three are singled out for taking precautions against them. They are:

• Women – because women are the traps of the Shaitan, and when a woman goes out of her house, the hopes of the Shaitan are raised. (See HOTD 289.) The Shaitan sought to bring about the expulsion of Adam from Paradise by means of women.

• The black dog - It is a devil, as is stated in the hadith. (See HOTD 338. Note: today’s hadith also exists singling out black dogs.)

• The same applies to donkeys, hence one is to seek refuge with Allah when hearing the voice of a donkey in the night, because it has seen the Shaitan.

Ibn Rajab, Fath al-Bari 4/135

Because of the embarrassing nature of this hadith, Islamic scholars work overtime trying to defend it. But Aisha calls it like it is: “You have likened us to donkeys and dogs!"

Aisha then protests:

By Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah ﷺ praying while I was lying on the bed, between him and the Qiblah. (Muslim 512d)

But scholars explain that passing in front is different than lying down. Ibn Baaz writes:

With regard to the words of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), they are her own opinion and conclusion. She said: “What a bad thing to liken us to donkeys and dogs.” She said that she used to lie in front of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ when he was praying, but that is not passing in front, because lying is not called passing. The Sunnah concerning that was not known to her, and the one who learns something is a proof against the one who is unaware of it.

Majmu al-Fatawa Ibn Baaz 24/22

Bottom line: Muhammad once again insults women with his misogyny.

He likens women to some of the most repulsive animals in Islam. Dogs embody even greater impurity than pigs. And donkeys are described by Muhammad as rijs (dirty, filthy, abominable) and thus forbidden to eat.

How many insults are Muslim women willing to endure?

• HOTD #275: Sunan Ibn Majah 950, Sahih Muslim 512d (1143). Ibn Majah 950 classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. Muslim 512d classed sahih by Imam Muslim.

 

HOTD 274: Muhammad teaches important religious lesson: hold your penis and wipe your butt with left hand + Bonus lesson on how to drink

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #274  Sunan Abu Dawud 31  Abdullah bin Abi Qatadah reported from his father, who said that the Prophet said: "If one of you urinates, then let him not touch his penis with his right hand, and if he goes to relieve himself, then let him not wipe himself with his right hand, and if he drinks, then let him not drink with one breath."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

Is this what the Creator of the Universe cares about—or—what an OCD symptomatic man cares about?

• HOTD #274: Sunan Abu Dawud 31. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 273: Muhammad says—if you recite a prayer three times—no poisonous scorpion sting can harm you. Okay, let’s test this with 100 Deathstalker scorpions

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #273  Jami al-Tirmidhi 3604 (1)  (1). 3604. Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet said: "Whoever says three times when he reaches the evening: 'I seek refuge in Allah's Perfect Words from the evil of what he created, (A'udhu Bikalimatillāhit-Tammāti Min Sharri Mã Khalaq)' no poisonous sting shall harm him that night."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this hadith celebrating Islamic preventive medicine, Muhammad assures Muslims that if they recite a certain dua (supplication) 3 times, they will not be harmed by any poisonous sting they receive. Related hadiths specifically mention scorpion stings (Muslim 2709, Ibn Majah 3518).

In today’s hadith, one of the subnarrators, Suhail bin Abi Salih, adds:

So our family used to learn it and they used to say it every night. A girl among them was stung, and she did not feel any pain.

So there you have it. Both Muhammad and a Salaf attest to the reliability of this supplication.

So which Muslims with true iman will step up to the plate and prove Muhammad correct? Who will lock themselves in a bedroom with 100 Deathstalker scorpions, recite the dua three times, and go to sleep?

Or will they be Hypocrites and not trust their Prophet?

Muhammad, by proclaiming himself Allah’s Messenger, needs to be held to the highest standard of any human in the truth and accuracy of his words. But, bizarrely, Muslims seemingly set the bar lower for Muhammad than they would for anyone else.

At what point do Muslims hold Muhammad accountable for the incredulous claims he makes?

• HOTD #273: Jami al-Tirmidhi 3604 (1). Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 272: Muhammad says Allah rejects the prayer of any woman He sees with exposed hair

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #272  Sunan Abu Dawud 641  It was reported from Qatadah, from Muḥammad bin Sirin, from Şafiyyah bint Al-Harith, from 'Aishah, that the Prophet said: "Allah does not accept the prayer of a woman (who has reached the age of) menstruation without a Khimar."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna'ut

 

Remarkably, Allah believes in sexist double standards. So if Allah sees a woman without a head covering, He will reject her prayers.

Of course, men can show their hair, and anything below the knee and above the navel, including their hairy chests, and their prayers will be accepted. (Hanbalis say men's shoulders must be covered.)

A khimar means a head covering. It is a scarf that covers the head, shoulders and bosom. It is a charged word because of its implications in interpreting Quran 24:31. In normal usage, it does not imply a face covering.

Allah’s demand that a woman’s hair be hidden during prayer includes when she is alone. Every school of Islamic jurisprudence agrees on this. Sheikh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyya explains:

If a woman is praying alone, she is commanded to cover herself. When she is not praying, it is permissible for her to uncover her head in her house. (Majmu al-Fatawa 22/113)

Because to Allah Muhammad, rules overrule your heart.

• HOTD #272: Abu Dawud 641. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

You can also see the contradiction, when Islam prohibited Slave-Women to take Hijab or even to cover their naked breasts in public (From Editor)

HOTD 271: FGM and singing. . is Sunna. One is Satanic

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #271  Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 1247  Ch. 598: Amusement for a Circumcision  Narrated Umm Alqama:  The daughters of Aisha's brother were circumcised. It was said to Aisha, "Shall we not call someone to amuse them?" She said, "Yes." Adiyy was sent for and he came to them. As Aisha passed through the house, she saw him singing and swaying his head with the music, and he had much hair. She said, "Oof! A Shaitan! Get him out! Get him out!"  Classed sahih by Ibn Rajab and hasan by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, we learn how to amuse girls who are having their clitorises cut off.

So what is really Satanic?

1. A person singing, or

2. A person cutting off the clitorises of young girls

And let me leave you with these lovely words from Muhammad’s Companion Ibn Masud:

Singing sprouts hypocrisy in the heart.

(Al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman 4744, 4745. Classed sahih by al-Albani.)

• HOTD #271: Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 1247. Classed sahih by Ibn Rajab (Nuzhat al-Asma, p. 55) and hasan by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 270: Muhammad “a mercy to the worlds” has his crew wildly beat a man who drank wine

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #270  Sunan Abu Dawud 4487  It was narrated that 'Abdur- Rahman bin Azhar said: "It is as if I can see the Messenger of Allah now, in the camp seeking the camping-place of Khalid bin Al- Walid. While he was like that, a man who had drunk Khamr was brought to him, and he said to the people: 'Beat him.' Some of them beat him with their shoes, some with sticks, and some with fresh branches of palm trees. Then the Messenger of Allah took some dust from the ground and threw it in his face."  Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna'ut

 

So who is the real evildoer in this hadith?

• HOTD #270: Sunan Abu Dawud 4487. Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 269: Muhammad says that—on the Day of Resurrection—Allah will pour water on the Earth, causing everyone to re-sprout from their buried tailbones + Islamic science: tailbones do not decay

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #269  Sahih Muslim 2955a (7414)  [7414] 141 - (2955) It was narrated that Abû Hurairah said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'Between the two Trumpet blasts there will be forty."" They said: "O Abu Hurairah, forty days?" He said: "I cannot say." They said: "Forty months?" He said: "I cannot say." They said: "Forty years?" He said: "I cannot say. "Then Allâh will send down water from the sky, and they will grow as herbs grow.  He said: "There is no part of man that will not decay, except a single bone which is the tailbone. From it he will be recreated on the Day of Resurrection."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

So this is what is going to happen on the Day of Resurrection:

Starting the chain of events, the angel Israfil will blow his trumpet. This will cause everyone to swoon and die.

Allah will then pour rain on the Earth. This rain will cause every human ever born to sprout like herbs from their buried tailbones.

As the tailbone, per Muhammad, is the one bone that does not decay, this will not be a problem.

Then after a time period of 40 (days, months, years; we do not know), Israfil will blow his trumpet again. Humanity will then stand naked and uncircumcised (everyone’s foreskin and clitorises grow back), and they will be judged by Allah and sent to Heaven or Hell–which destination was preordained anyway.

Or maybe Muhammad made it all up.

Interestingly, even 600 years ago, Muslim scholars knew the "eternal tailbone" was bogus and made various “the hadith doesn’t mean what it says” arguments. But Ibn Hajar, 15th century scholar and author of Fath al-Bari, has words for them:

Some commentators have argued that the meaning is that it (the tailbone) lasts longer, but not that it does not eventually decay. The wisdom is to highlight that it (the tailbone) is the origin of humans and the base from which they are built and that is why it is more solid. Being more solid, it decays over a longer period of time. However, this is contrary to the hadith’s apparent meaning and is without evidence.

Fath al-Bari 8/553

• HOTD #269: Sahih Muslim 2955a (7414). See also Bukhari 4935.

 

HOTD 268: “Muhammad: the Best of All Husbands” divorces Hafsa (after Hafsa reveals his “secret” that she caught him having sex with his slave in Hafsa’s bed)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #268  Sunan Abu Dawud 2283  It was reported from Ibn 'Abbās, from 'Umar, that the Prophet divorced Hafsah and then took her back.  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this revealing hadith, Muhammad divorces his wife Hafsa.

In Islam, for a man to divorce a woman, all he must say is, “I divorce you.” He must say it three times, ideally over three menstrual cycles, for it to be finalized.

Muhammad gave Hafsa one divorce, but he took her back because:

Gabriel (peace be upon him) said to me, “Go back to Hafsa, for she fasts a lot and prays a lot at night, and she will be your wife in Paradise.”

(Al-Mustadrak 6753. Classed hasan by al-Albani.)

It is consensus among the uluma that Muhammad divorced Hafsa because she revealed Muhammad’s "secret." This is what is discussed in Quran 66:1-5, some of the most extraordinarily self-serving verses in the entire Quran. (Allah threatens Hafsa and Aisha that Muhammad will divorce them if they don’t shape up.)

The exegete al-Tabari also arrives at that conclusion in an interesting (to me) linguistic discussion on the term arrafa found in 66:3:

He arafa (without the shadda on the letter "r") what Ḥafṣa did when she revealed the secret that he confided in her, meaning: The Prophet ﷺ was angry with her and for that he punished her. Like the saying of one to someone who wronged him: “For I will penalize you (u’arrifanna) for what you did, meaning that I will punish you for it.

They said: And the Prophet ﷺ punished her for what she did by divorcing her.

(Tafsir al-Tabari 23/91-92)

So what was Muhammad’s secret? There are two different sahih stories on what happened. The first one makes sense. The second one makes no sense.

Scholars typically say that both stories are true, which I find implausible. In any case, the two stories are:

1. Muhammad is caught by wife Hafsa having sex with his slave Maria in Hafsa’s bed on Hafsa’s day. Muhammad tells Hafsa not to tell anyone and makes an oath to her that he won’t have sex with Maria anymore. Hafsa ends up telling Aisha the secret. All hell breaks loose when all the wives find out. (Nasai 3411, Tafsir al-Jalalayn 66:1)

2. Wives Aisha and Hafsa want Muhammad to stop eating honey with his wife Zainab bint Jahsh. They falsely tell Muhammad that he smells bad after eating honey at Zainab’s. Muhammad then makes an oath that he won’t eat honey with Zainab anymore, and this needs to be kept a secret. Hafsa tells some other wife this. All hell breaks loose when all the wives find out. (Bukhari 6691)

Muhammad behaves like a petulant man-child in divorcing Hafsa. After getting caught having sex with his slave on Hafsa’s bed, he should be begging Hafsa for forgiveness every single day. Instead, he divorces her.

But thankfully the angel Gabriel (or Hafsa’s father Umar) got Muhammad to take Hafsa back.

Funny enough, there is a book called The Prophet Muhammad: the Best of All Husbands. That Muhammad divorced Hafsa or had sex with his slave in Hafsa's bed is mentioned nowhere in the book.

• HOTD #268: Sunan Abu Dawud 2283. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 267: Muhammad, a man who uses hair dye, asks Allah to curse women with hair extensions

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #267 Sunan al-Nasa'i 5100 It was narrated from Şafiyyah bint Shaibah, that 'Aishah said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'May Allâh curse the woman who affixes hair extensions and the woman who has that done." Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad asks Allah to curse women who use hair extensions. The reason he gives is that hair extensions give a “false impression.” (Nasa’i 5250)

But Muhammad, who dyes his grey hair (HOTD 286), is also giving a "false impression." This is hypocritical. Dyeing his grey hair gives Muhammad, a 60 year-old man married to wives in their teens and 20’s, a younger and hipper appearance.

His preferred hair dye is a combination of katam and henna (Ibn Majah 3622, 3623), which produces a black color with a tinge of red undertone. This combination, similar to mixing indigo with henna, is still used today to produce a soft black hair dye, meant to mimic one's natural hair.

Cursing

Throughout the Hadith literature, Muhammad curses—and says that Allah curses—women with hair extensions, often along with women with tattoos.

To curse someone is to ask Allah to deny His blessings to that person. To me, that is both selfish and evil, and never in my life was I comfortable with it, much less cursing over something as petty as hair extensions.

In fact, it can be argued that hair extensions are a kabira (major sin) because a standard definition of kabira is a sin for which one is cursed. Ibn Uthaymin explains:

This hadith contains a stern warning to the one who does that, because the Messenger ﷺ said: “May Allah curse the woman who affixes hair extensions and the woman who has that done.” What is meant by being cursed is being excluded and banished far away from the mercy of Allah. The scholars have stated that every sin for which Allah, may He be exalted, has decreed the punishment of being cursed is one of the kaba'ir (major sins).

Fatawa Nur ala al-Darb 11/36

In Islam, sex slavery is not even a sin, while hair extensions are arguably a major sin.

• HOTD #267: Sunan al-Nasa’i 5100. Classed sahih by al-Albani. See also Bukhari 5937.

 

HOTD 266: Muhammad’s senior Companions state the Quran bans singing

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #266  Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 1265  Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 3542  Narrated Sa'id bin Jubair: Ibn Abbas, regarding the words of the Mighty and Sublime: "And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks" (Quran 31:6), said it is "singing and the like."  Classed sahih by al-Albani  Narrated: Abu'l-Sahba:  Ibn Masud said: "And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks to mislead from the path of Allah." (Quran 31:6) He said, "By Allah, besides Whom there is no other god, this means singing."  Classed sahih by al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi

 

In these culturally-uplifting hadiths, Muhammad’s Companions (Sahaba) say the Quran bans singing.

I, like most people, love music and singing. It is difficult to imagine life without music.

But Islam is hostile to music. Every school of Islamic jurisprudence forbids musical instruments, including singing to such instruments. Acapella singing is also forbidden, but most contemporary scholars give an exception to nasheeds (Islamic poetry sung to a tune), if done infrequently and without instruments.

In these hadiths, senior Companions Ibn Abbas and Ibn Masud provide tafsir (interpretation) of the Quranic verse:

And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks to mislead from the path of Allah (Quran 31:6)

They both say the term “idle talks” refers to singing.

The scholar Ibn al-Qayyim explains that Quran 31:6 refers to music and that tafsir of the Companions is the best interpretation. He writes:

The interpretation of the Companions and Successors that “idle talks” refers to singing is sufficient. This was reported with sahih chains of transmission from Ibn Abbas and Ibn Masud….

Al-Hakim Abu Abdullah said in the tafsir of Kitab al-Mustadrak: Let the one who is seeking this knowledge know that the tafsir of a Companion who witnessed the revelation is a musnad hadith (one with a connected chain of transmission to Muhammad) according to the two Sheikhs (al-Bukhari and Muslim). (Al-Mustadrak 3021) Elsewhere in his book, he said, “In our view this hadith has the same strength as a marfu report (a narration of Muhammad).”

Ighathat al-Lahfan, p. 424-25

And let me leave you with wisdom from Ibn Masud:

Singing sprouts hypocrisy in the heart.

(Al-Bayhaqi, Shu'ab al-Iman 4744, 4745. Classed sahih by al-Albani.)

• HOTD #266: Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 1265. Classed sahih by al-Albani. Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 3542. Classed sahih by al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi.

 

HOTD 265: Ali rapes a slave-girl. Muhammad says he is entitled to it

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #265  Sahih al-Bukhari 4350   Narrated Buraida: The Prophet sent 'Ali to Khalid to bring the Khumus (of the booty) and I hated 'Ali, and *Ali had taken a bath (after a sexual act with a slave-girl from the Khumus). I said to Khalid, "Don't you see this (i.e., 'Ali)?" When we reached the Prophet I mentioned that to him. He said, "O Buraida! Do you hate 'Ali?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Don't hate him, for he deserves more than that from the Khumus.  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this disturbing hadith, Ali rapes a slave-girl, and Muhammad says he is entitled to it.

As explained by scholar Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Bari, this is what happened:

After a battle, Muhammad sent Ali to collect the khumus, which is the ⅕ of war booty that goes to Muhammad. Ali goes to collect the war booty and takes “a wasifa (young slave-girl), the finest among the war prisoners” and has sex with her. Buraida is furious with Ali about this.

There are two reasons for Buraida’s anger:

1. Ali took from the khumus, which belongs to Muhammad

2. Ali had sex with a slave-girl without the Istibra

Istibra is one menstrual period of sexual abstinence for a female slave when she is captured or changes ownership. This is to ensure that there is no confusion on paternity.

(Note that Buraida doesn’t care that a young girl was raped—just that proper Istibra wasn’t observed.)

Ali writes a letter to Muhammad in which he explains why he took and had sex with the slave-girl. Ali says, as a member of the household of Muhammad, he was simply taking part of the khumus that would have been apportioned to him anyway. Muhammad agrees and tells Buraida that Ali deserves even more than the slave-girl.

Ibn Hajar writes:

"Ali was blamed for having intercourse with the slave-girl without the Istibra and also for the share of the khumus that he took for himself.

Now the first allegation is defensible as she was a virgin and not pubescent, and thus she did not need any Istibra — in accordance with the practice of many Sahaba (Companions) before him. And she might have had her period after becoming his and then became purified after one day and one night. He had intercourse with her with no ill intent….

He (scholar al-Khattabi) stated regarding the first issue that it is possible that she was a virgin or prepubescent, or that he relied on his reasoning for forgoing Istibra.”

Fath al-Bari 8/67

Now just absorb that for a moment.

It was the regular practice of Muhammad's Companions to rape prepubescent slave-girls.

• HOTD #265: Sahih al-Bukhari 4350

 

HOTD 264: Muhammad says when you get a new wife or animal, hold her by the forelock and pray to Allah for protection from her evil

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #264  Sunan Ibn Majah 1918  It was narrated from 'Abdullâh bin 'Amr that the Prophet said: "When anyone of you gets a new wife, a servant, or an animal, let him take hold of the forelock and say: 'Allahumma inni as'aluka min khayriha wa khayri ma jubilat 'alaihi, wa 'audhu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jubilat 'alaih (O Allâh, I ask You for the goodness within her and the goodness that she is inclined towards, and I seek refuge with You from the evil within her and the evil to which she is inclined).'"  Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad again puts women in the same category as animals. (See HOTD 275)

In this case, Muhammad teaches the same dua (supplication) for when you get a new wife, servant (slave) or animal. The Muslim man should pray for protection from the woman/animal's evil while holding its forelock, the hair on the front part of the head.

Significance of holding a person’s forelock

The term used in the hadith, Akhudh bi nasiyatihi (take hold of the forelock), is also an Arabic expression meaning to "have total control over." For instance, in this bedtime dua focused on protection from vermin and devils:

“I seek refuge in You from the evil of all things that You seize by the forelock [i.e., have full control over].” (Muslim 2713a)

By literally holding onto the forelock of his wife or slave-girl, the man is displaying his total control over her—which of course is accurate, as Muhammad describes wives as men’s “captives” (Tirmidhi 1163) and slave-girls as “those whom your right hands possess” (Quran 4:24).**

Irony of the dua

It is ironic, particularly in the case of a slave-girl, that the man is the one asking for protection from “evil.”

For instance, in HOTD 265, Ali rapes a slave-girl. Did Ali actually have the gall to pray against the girl’s evil before doing evil unto her (i.e., raping her)? Does any man who recites this dua not see the irony that HE may be the one from whose evil, protection should be sought?

So what dua does Muhammad teach women to recite when getting a husband? I am unaware of any.

Lesson: Holding women by the hair and praying against their evil ≠ feminist religion.

• HOTD #264: Sunan Ibn Majah 1918. Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 263: Muhammad reveals the exact lyrics to be sung by virgin houris to their husbands in Heaven: ♫ “We’re the beautiful houris, given to noble husbands” ♫

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #263  Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Awsat 4917, 6497  Narrated Anas bin Malik:  The Prophet said, "The houris of Paradise will sing, 'We are the beautiful houris, given to noble husbands.""  Narrated Ibn Umar:  The Messenger of Allah said, "Indeed, the wives of the people of Paradise will sing for their husbands in the most beautiful voices anyone has heard. They will sing, 'We are the virtuous and beautiful, with noble husbands who gaze at us with pleased eyes. And they will sing, 'We are the immortals, never will we die. We are the secure, never will we fear. We are the anchored, never will we leave."  Both classed sahih by al-Albani

 

In these heavenly hadiths, Muhammad tells us the exact lyrics that virgin houris will sing to their husbands in Paradise.

And, not surprisingly, Muhammad’s the houris’ lyrics highlight how desirable houris are.

Apparently houris like to sing about themselves collectively, always referring to themselves as “we.” It’s a good thing, because we men wouldn’t want houris to be too individualistic.

In Paradise, the houris, seemingly still trying to sell themselves, will sing to their husbands that houris are “beautiful” and “virtuous” and that their “noble husbands gaze at us with pleased eyes.”

So will the Muslim men sing back to the virgin houris:

♫ “We are the virile husbands, each with the sexual power of 100 men .” ♫

(See Tirmidhi 2536)

• HOTD #263: Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Awsat 4917, 6497. Both classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 262: Where women should pray—Part 1

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #262  Musnad Ahmad 27090  Narrated Umm Humaid, the wife of Abu Humaid al-Sa'idi, that she came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I love to pray with you." He said, "I know that you love to pray with me, but praying in your house is better for you than praying in your courtyard, and praying in your courtyard is better for you than praying in the mosque of your people, and praying in the mosque of your people is better for you than praying in my mosque." So she ordered that a prayer-place be built for her in the furthest and darkest part of her house, and she always prayed there until she met Allah (i.e., died).  Classed sahih by Ahmad Shakir and  hasan by al-Arna'ut

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad says that women should not go to the mosque, but rather should stay in their house to pray.

This is similar to HOTD 289, in which Muhammad discourages women from going outside at all.

Muhammad does not forbid women from attending mosque. Rather, he discourages it, saying that praying in their house is better.

Do not prevent your women from going to the mosque—but their houses are better for them. (Abu Dawud 567)

However, Aisha says that, were Muhammad still alive and saw how emboldened and improper women have become, he would forbid women from going to the mosque.

Had the Messenger of Allah ﷺ seen what the women are doing in our times, he would have prevented them from going to the mosque, just as the Children of Israel were prevented. (Abu Dawud 569)

Muhammad goes through a hierarchy of places for a woman to pray from best-to-worst:

1. Her house, meaning her room inside her house

2. Her courtyard, which is typically the enclosed outdoor entryway of her house

3. Her local mosque

4. Muhammad’s mosque (The Prophet's Mosque)

What is interesting is that prayers in a mosque's congregation give 25 times the hasanas (merit points) than prayers at home (Bukhari 646). And praying in the Prophet’s Mosque gives 1000 times more hasanas than praying in other mosques (Bukhari 1190).

So what does this mean for women getting 25 and 1000 times the hasanas?

Ibn Rajab writes regarding the 25x reward:

In the hadeeth of Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) which was narrated by al-Bukhari, it says: “(The reward for) the prayer of a man offered in congregation is multiplied.�? This indicates that the reward for a woman’s prayer offered in congregation is not multiplied, because her prayer in her house is better for her. (Fath al-Bari 6/19)

Ibn Khuzaymah writes regarding the 1000x reward:

This (Ahmad 27090) is the evidence that the words of the Prophet ﷺ “One prayer in this mosque of mine is better than one thousand prayers in any other mosque�? refers to the prayer of men and not the prayer of women. (Sahih Ibn Khuzaymah 1689)

There is clear consensus among the ulama that Allah prefers that a woman pray at home than at the mosque, and that Allah will give a woman more hasanas (merit points) for praying at home.

Lesson: A religion that says women get less reward for praying in its house of worship ≠ “feminist religion.�?

• HOTD #262: Musnad Ahmad 27090. Classed sahih by Ahmad Shakir (Al-Muhalla 3/133) and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 261: Muhammad says women should pray—instead of in the mosque—in the most secluded, innermost part of their houses—effectively their walk-in closets

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #261  Musnad Ahmad 26542  Sunan Abu Dawud 570  Narrated Umm Salamah: The Messenger of Allah said, "The best mosques for women are the innermost parts of their houses."  Narrated Ibn Masud: The Prophet said, "A woman's prayer in her house is better than her prayer in her courtyard, and her prayer in her cabinet is better than her prayer in her house."  Classed hasan and sahih, respectively, by al-Albani

 

In Where Women Should Pray—Part 1 (HOTD 262), Muhammad explains that women should pray in their houses instead of mosques.

In today's Where Women Should Pray—Part 2, the following question is addressed:

Question: Where exactly in the house should women pray?

Answer: It should be in the most secluded, innermost part of the house. Muhammad specifically mentions that a woman’s cabinet (a small private chamber used for storage) is the preferred area. The modern version would be a walk-in closet.

Shamsul Haq Azimabadi writes:

“A woman’s prayer in her house” means the inner room, as it is more concealing. “Is better than her prayer in her courtyard” refers to the area inside the (traditional Arabic courtyard) house unto which all the doors of the house open, which is less concealing than the inner room. “And her prayer in her cabinet” refers to a small room inside her large room, in which she keeps her precious things safe, hiding objects within her storage. “Better than her prayer in her house” because a woman should be concealed as much as possible. (Awn al-Ma'bud 2/194-195)

Umm Humaid, a Companion of Muhammad, took this to heart when she did the following:

So she ordered that a prayer-place be built for her in the furthest and darkest part of her house, and she always prayed there until she met Allah (i.e., died). (HOTD 262)

And don’t forget, even if a woman is praying alone in her dark, secluded cabinet with no one else in the house, Allah will still reject her prayer if He sees her hair. (HOTD 272)

• HOTD #261: Musnad Ahmad 26542. Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. Sunan Abu Dawud 570. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

See also IslamQA’s Attending prayers in congregation in a mosque where women are uncovered when doing wudoo’, in which horny men are flustered when women fold up their sleeves and leg cuffs in the mosque.

 

HOTD 260: Muhammad orders large-scale beat down of women. In one night, 70 beaten women complain to Muhammad’s wives, causing him to back down

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #260  Sunan Ibn Majah 1985  It was narrated that Iyâs bin 'Abdullah bin Abu Dhubâb said: "The Prophet said: 'Do not beat the female slaves of Allâh.' Then 'Umar came to the Prophet and said: Ό Messenger of Allâh, the woman have become bold towards their husbands? So order the beating of them,' and they were beaten. Then many women went around to the family of Muhammad. The next day he said: 'Last night seventy women came to the family of Muhammad, each woman complaining about her husband. You will not find that those are the best of you.""    Classed sahih by al-Arna'ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani

 

In this hadith, Muhammad orders the large-scale beating of women because they became “bold towards their husbands.”

Muhammad was urged on by his Companion Umar, a noted misogynist about whom Muhammad says, “If there were to be a Prophet after me, it would be Umar bin al-Khattab.” (Tirmidhi 3686)

But after 70 (!) beaten women complain to Muhammad’s wives in one night, Muhammad backs down and tells the wife-beaters:

You will not find that those (men whose wives complained) are the best of you.

Well, that will teach those men! Maybe, Muhammad, you shouldn’t have ordered the beatings in the first place. (Scholars reconcile Muhammad’s (gentle) admonishment of the men by saying that the women must have been beaten “excessively.”)

Islam—where women are beaten (lightly™) for becoming "bold towards their husbands.”

• HOTD #260: Sunan Ibn Majah 1985. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 259: Muhammad says ajwa fruit dates are from Heaven and cure poisoning. Muhammad dies of poisoning

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #259  Jami al-Tirmidhi 2068  Abu Hurairah narrated that people among the Companions of the Prophet would say: "Truffles are the earth's smallpox." So the Messenger of Allah said:  "Truffles are a form of manna, and its liquid is a cure for the eye. Al- Ajwah is from Paradise, and it contains a cure for poison."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

Hadiths on Muhammad’s quackery run deep. See for instance HOTDs 273, 277, 322.

Ajwa dates are dates grown in the Medina area. Muhammad states that ajwa dates are both curative and preventative against poison. A preventative example is below:

Whoever eats seven ajwa dates in the morning will not be harmed by any poison or witchcraft that day. (Bukhari 5779)

But Muhammad died of poisoning! (Bukhari 4428) He consumed poisoned mutton prepared by a Jewish woman of Khaibar after Muhammad attacked Khaibar. (Muslim 2190)

Clearly, he could have eaten these ajwa dates “from Paradise” that he says are a “cure for poison” and cured himself. (Though only subtly different, the Arabic is better translated as “It is a cure for poison” without “contains.”)

He suffered from the effects of this poisoning for four years before dying (likely also contributing to his remarkable infertility despite having nine wives during these four years).

Muhammad had plenty of opportunity to cure himself. But the ajwa dates, a cure for poison that Muhammad says was sent down from Paradise, did not cure him from poison. Muhammad was wrong.

And so now: which Muslims will demonstrate true iman to Allah, attest to His Messenger’s credibility, and consume a tablespoon of ground aconite, knowing that ajwa dates will protect them?

Or rather, which Muslims will state “the hadith doesn’t mean what it says”?

Truffles

The phrase “Truffles are the earth’s smallpox” means they are plentiful and easily found. The phrase “Truffles are a form of manna” means they are a divine gift. The phrase “Its liquid is a cure for the eye (i.e., eye diseases)” means Muhammad is a charlatan.

We have not learned about any scientific research that has provided a modern treatment using this plant (truffle). However, it is enough for us to know that the Prophet ﷺ, whose sayings were all based on Revelation, prescribed the plant as a medicine. (Islamweb fatwa 6810)

• HOTD #259: Jami al-Tirmidhi 2068. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #258  Sahih al-Bukhari 3468  Narrated Humaid bin 'Abdur- Rahman that he heard Mu'awiya bin Abi Sufyan (talking) on the pulpit in the year when he performed the Hajj. He took a tuft of hair that was in the hand of an orderly and said, "O people of Al-Madīna! Where are your learned men?  I heard the Prophet forbidding such a thing as this (i.e., false hair) and he used to say, 'The Israelites were destroyed when their ladies practised this habit (of using false hair to lengthen their locks)'."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this glorious hadith, Judaic historian Muhammad explains that the Jews were destroyed because of their women’s hair extensions.

Badr al-Din al-Ayni explains:

“The Israelites were destroyed when their ladies practiced this habit.” That is, when it was adopted by their women, and it was the reason for their destruction. It indicates that it was haram to them, and when they did it, all were identified with those committing the sins, and they perished. This indicates that the multitudes may be punished upon the appearance of vice.

Umdat al-Qari 16/55

Muhammad, who uses hair dye, curses women with hair extensions (HOTD 267) because it gives a "false impression." He creates supporting evidence by creating a story on how women's hair extensions destroyed Jews.

Sometimes you just to have to laugh.

• HOTD #258: Sahih al-Bukhari 3468

 

HOTD 257: Muhammad commands people be burned alive. Changes mind, says burning people is reserved for Allah. Orders different killing method instead

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #257  Sahih al-Bukhari 2954  Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah's Messenger sent us on a military expedition telling us, "If you find such and such persons (he named two men from Quraish), burn them with fire." Then we came to bid him farewell, when we wanted to set out, he said, "Previously I ordered you to burn so-and-so and so-and-so with fire, but as punishment with fire is done by none except Allah, if you capture them, kill them, (instead)."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this fiery hadith, Muhammad, “a mercy to the worlds” (Quran 21:107) orders two people be burned alive. But then he changes his mind.

But does he change his mind because burning people alive is evil and barbaric? Of course not. Rather, his reasoning is that burning people is reserved for Allah.

And so when his jihadis capture these two, Muhammad wants them killed by the sword. Because that is the Religion of Peace’s definition of humanity.

This is what particularly disturbs me about Muhammad's behavior:

Muhammad is only able to restrain his own evil—his desire to burn people alive—by deferring such evil to Allah.

Muhammad never once considers that burning people alive is evil.

How can a person not realize how wicked, horrific and inhumane burning people alive is?

At what point does a person go beyond evil and turn into a caricature of evil?

• HOTD #257: Sahih al-Bukhari 2954

 

HOTD 256: Muhammad proudly proclaims he is the first to revive Allah’s command to stone adulterers. Orders man stoned to death

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #256  Sahih Muslim 1700a (4440)  Narrated Al-Bara bin Azib:  [Muhammad sees a Jew who was whipped and had his face blackened for committing adultery. The Jews explain that they no longer stone anyone for adultery, as stoning was being unfairly carried out.] ...The Messenger of Allah said, "O Allah, I am the first to revive Your command which they had made dead." Then he ordered that he be stoned....Then Allah revealed the words, "And whosoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed, such are the infidels." (Quran 5:44)  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad ensures that humanity goes backwards by reviving a stoning punishment for adultery.

Even though Muhammad says he is closest of anyone to Jesus (Muslim 2365), Muhammad obviously rejects “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.�?

Rather, Muhammad seemingly wants to double down on barbarity. In addition to reviving stoning, Muhammad separately adopts the Arab pagan practice of cutting off hands for theft (Tafsir Ibn Kathir 5:38).

The hadith settles the matter on stoning by stating that Allah, in relation to this incident, revealed:

“And whosoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed, such are the infidels.�? (Quran 5:44)

And thus anyone who does not believe in stoning is a kafir infidel, doomed to eternal Hell.

• HOTD #256: Sahih Muslim 1700a (4440)

 

HOTD 255: Muhammad identifies the source of a smelly wind: Hypocrites slandering Muslims

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #255  Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 733  Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:  There was a foul-smelling wind during the time of the Messenger of Allah. The Messenger of Allah said, "Indeed, the Hypocrites are speaking ill of the Muslims behind their backs. That is why this wind has arisen."  Classed hasan by al-Albani

 

In this magnificent hadith, Muhammad identifies the source of a smelly wind.

Rotting carcasses? Petroleum? Bacterial water infestation?

No. It is the smell of Hypocrites backbiting Muslims.

Now this hadith is more than your typical Muhammad-spouting-nonsense hadith. There is great irony in it.

By fabricating this story about a smelly wind’s source, Muhammad is slandering the group of bad Muslims he calls “Hypocrites.” But Muhammad is doing the very thing of which he is accusing the “Hypocrites,” which makes Muhammad himself a hypocrite.

Muhammad has an annoying habit of lying to denigrate others. I touch on this in HOTDs 333, 334, in which Muhammad fabricates stories to denigrate Jews and polytheists.

• HOTD #255: Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 733. Classed hasan by al-Albani. See also Al-Adab al-Mufrad 732 and Musnad Ahmad 14784, classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 254: Muhammad says to lick your fingers—or have others lick your fingers—after eating. Your fingers must be licked because Allah’s blessing might be in food particles there

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #254  Sahih al-Bukhari 5456 Sahih Muslim 2033a (5300)  Narrated Ibn Abbas: The Prophet said, "When one of you eats, let him not wipe his hand until he has licked it or has had someone else lick it."  Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: The Prophet enjoined licking one's fingers and the plate, and he said, "You do not know in which part the blessing is."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim, respectively

 

In this wise hadith, Muhammad orders Muslims to lick their fingers—or have someone else lick them (!)—after eating.

The reason is that Allah’s food blessing might be in these food particles. If you do not lick your fingers, you must at least give someone else the chance to suck off Allah’s blessings from your fingers.

The way that Allah’s food blessing works is as follows (See HOTD 359):

1. Allah beams His blessing from the sky into the dead center of your food

2. After hitting the center of your food, the blessing spreads outward across the dish

3. The blessing does not reach all of the food. Some food parts are missed

In Sahih Muslim 2033a, Muhammad instructs that Muslims lick their plates too.

Perhaps because it is embarrassing that Muhammad orders Muslims to eat like cats and dogs, the Darussalam translator adds a parenthetical “wiping” to “the Prophet ﷺ enjoined licking one's fingers and (wiping) the plate.”

There are hadiths in which Muhammad says “wipe,” but in Muslim 2033a, as well as multiple other sahih hadiths, Muhammad instructs that Muslims specifically lick the plate.

And Allah Muhammad knows best.

• HOTD #254: Sahih al-Bukhari 5456, Sahih Muslim 2033a (5300).

 

HOTD 253: Muhammad says if you see a person praise another, throw dust in his face

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #253  Sahih Muslim 3002b (7506)  [7506] 69 - (...) It was narrated from Hammâm bin Al-Hârith that a man started to praise 'Uthmân and Al-Miqdâd went and knelt down, and he was a large man, and he started to throw pebbles in his face. 'Uthmân said to him: "What is the matter with you?" He said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'If you see those who praise others, throw dust in their faces.'  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith—that effectively bans all award shows—Muhammad orders Muslims to throw dust in the faces of anyone who praises others.

Muhammad explains that if you absolutely must compliment someone, say as follows:

A man praised another man in front of the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ said three times, "Woe to you! You have cut the neck of your brother!" The Prophet ﷺ added, "If it is indispensable for anyone of you to praise a person, then he should say, ‘I think that such and such person (is so-and-so), and Allah is the One Who will take his accounts and none can sanctify anybody before Allah.’" (Bukhari 6162)

This made me imagine Jimmy Kimmel somberly hosting the Academy Awards:

“And presenting the Best Actor award will be Jane Fonda. I think that Jane Fonda is a wonderful actress and philanthropist—and Allah is the one who takes her accounts and none can sanctify anybody before Allah.”

But Muhammad contradicts himself by praising Sahaba (Companions) in numerous hadiths. Addressing this contradiction, al-Nawawi writes:

These are hadiths that prohibit praising a person in his presence. However there are many authentic hadiths regarding the permissibility of doing this.

The scholars have said: The way we reconcile these hadiths is:

If the one being praised has perfect iman (faith), certainty, is secure in himself, trains his soul and possesses awareness to the extent that he will not be trialed or deceived by this praise nor will this praise play upon his conscience—then in this circumstance it is not prohibited nor is it disliked to praise him in his presence.

If however, any of these above matters are feared and that person is not secure, then it is disliked to praise him in his presence, and it is disliked in the strongest terms. The differing hadiths are understood in this context and according to this explanation.

Al-Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin 1790

So there you have it. If a person is Islamically perfect like a Sahib (Companion of Muhammad), then you can praise him. Otherwise, no.

• HOTD #253: Muslim 3002b (7506)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #252  Sahih al-Bukhari 6573  Narrated Abu Hurairah : .... He (Allah) will order the angels to take them out and the angels will know them by the mark of the traces of prostration (on their foreheads) for Allah has banned the Fire to consume the traces of prostration on the body of Adam's son. So the angels will take them out, and by then they would have burnt (as coal), and then water, called Ma'-ul-Hayat (water of life), will be poured on them, and they will spring out like a seed springs out on the bank of a rainwater stream, and there will remain one man.....  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this majestic hadith, Muhammad outlines the events facing the Jahannamiyyoon (those who had been in Hell). These are sinful Muslims who will spend time in Hell, but by virtue of being Muslim, eventually go to Paradise.

According to Muhammad, this is what happens:

1. On the Day of Judgment, Muslims will cross a bridge over Hell. This bridge will have gnarly thorns, like the al-sadan plant, that will catch and tear away at sinful Muslims

2. Sinful Muslims will fall from the bridge into Hell

3. In Hell, Allah will burn these Muslims to a crisp—except their foreheads, because Allah won’t allow the mark of prostration be burnt

4. Allah will order His Angels to take the Muslims out of Hell. The Angels will recognize Muslims by the unburnt foreheads and retrieve them

5. The Angels will then take the burnt Muslims to Paradise and lay them along river banks. Water will be poured on them and they will sprout like seeds (See also HOTD 287)

6. Allah will admit all of the Muslims to Paradise except one man

7. Allah will haze this one man, but then he will be admitted into Paradise. He will be the last person to enter Paradise

The term “mark of prostration” seemingly could also refer to knees, hands and feet. But scholars generally hold that it refers to the forehead, perhaps including part of the face, because of a Sahih Muslim hadith:

The Messenger of Allah said, “Some people will come out of the Fire, having been burned totally except the fronts of their faces, and they will enter Paradise.” (Muslim 191d (472))

Conclusion:

There are two possibilities:

1. Allah will burn bad Muslims to a crisp—except their foreheads—and then lay them across river banks and pour water on them and have them sprout like seeds.

2. Muhammad—a sex-slave owner (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/114) who prays against the evil of his clothes (HOTD 360), says Allah gives you 100 points for killing a gecko (HOTD 354), and says ajwa dates cure poisoning while dying of poisoning (HOTD 259)—made it all up.

• HOTD #252: [Sahih al-Bukhari 6573] (https://web.archive.org/web/20181231011445/https://archive.org/stream/SahihAlBukhariVol.317732737EnglishArabic/Sahih%20al-Bukhari%20Vol.%208%20-%205970-6860%20English%20Arabic#page/n305/mode/1up)

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #251  Sahih al-Bukhari 6226  Narrated Abu Hurairah : The Prophet said, "Allah loves sneezing but dislikes yawning; so if anyone of you sneezes and then praises Allah, then it is obligatory on every Muslim who hears him (praising Allah) to say Tashmit to him. But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so if one of you yawns, he should try his best to stop it, for when anyone of you yawns, Satan laughst at him."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this divine hadith, Muhammad explains that Allah has hugely differing opinions on two involuntary bodily functions that He created: sneezing and yawning.

Allah loves sneezing and He dislikes yawning (really, the verb kahira is more intense than “dislike”).

This hadith had a big impact on me.

For me, that Allah loves sneezing and hates yawning crossed some unacceptable line of stupidity. Is this why Allah invented dust? Is this why Allah invented seasonal allergies? Since I want to please Allah, how do I sneeze more?

As Muhammad seemingly blames everything on Satan, of course yawning is from Satan too. So when animals yawn, is that also from Satan? And Satan laughs at us when we yawn. Why? Ibn Battal explains:

The Shaitan likes to see a man yawning because it is a state in which his appearance changes so he laughs at him. (Fath al-Bari 10/612)

Ultimately, there always seems to be an ulterior motive to Muhammad’s words and actions. In this case, as there are also hadiths in which Muhammad specifically highlights yawning during prayer (Muslim 2995c, Tirmidhi 370), Muhammad likely got annoyed with people yawning during prayer and his khutbahs (sermons).

• HOTD #251: [Sahih al-Bukhari 6226] (https://archive.org/stream/SahihAlBukhariVol.317732737EnglishArabic/Sahih%20al-Bukhari%20Vol.%208%20-%205970-6860%20English%20Arabic#page/n136/mode/1up)

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #250  Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir vol. 20 no. 486  Narrated Maqil bin Yasar: The Messenger of Allah said, "For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him."  Classed sahih by al-Haytami and hasan by al-Albani  Commentary:  And in it is proof of the prohibition on shaking hands with women, because this no doubt is included in touching.  Al-Albani, Al-Silsilah al-Sahihah 1/448

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad says that touching a non-mahram (i.e., a marriageable) woman is worse than being stabbed in the head with an iron needle.

Al-Albani explains:

And in the hadith is a severe warning to one who touches a woman who is not permissible for him. And in it is proof of the prohibition on shaking hands with women, because this no doubt is included in touching.

(Al-Silsilah al-Sahihah 1/448)

Muhammad explicitly says “I do not shake hands with women.” (Nasa’i 4186). He never touches a woman’s hand, except for his slaves of course:

“….And the hand of Allah's Messenger ﷺ did not touch any woman's hand except the hand of that woman his right hand possessed (i.e. his captives or his lady slaves).” (Bukhari 7214)

I find Bukhari 7214 particularly rich, in that Muhammad has no problem enslaving women, but his high moral character won’t allow him to shake a woman’s hand.

Unfortunately, Islamic law is based on the presumption that Muslim men cannot be expected to exert basic self-control.

And that is why every Islamic school of jurisprudence, with no exception, forbids men and women from shaking hands. (Hanbali and Hanafi schools allow it for the elderly.) (Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Fiqh 37/359-360)

• HOTD #250: Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir vol. 20 no. 486. Classed sahih by al-Haytami and hasan by al-Albani. See also IslamQA’s Shaking hands with a non-mahram woman.

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #249  Sahih Muslim 1767a (4594)  Chapter 21. Expulsion Of Jews And Christians From The Arabian Peninsula  [4594]  63- (1767)  Jâbir bin  'Abdullâh said: 'Umar bin Al- Khaṭṭâb said that he heard the Messenger of Allâh say: "I shall certainly expel the Jews and Christians from the Arabian Peninsula, until I leave only Muslims there."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

And after I expel you from your homeland my land, I will invade your new land and give you the choice to be killed or extorted.

Further wisdom from Muhammad on Coexist:

One of the last things the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said was, “May Allah destroy the Jews and the Christians, for they took the graves of their Prophets as places of worship. Two religions shall NOT COEXIST in the land of the Arabs.” (Muwatta Malik 1617. Classed sahih by al-Albani)

Coexist, indeed.

And some final words from Muhammad:

"Know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Messenger." (Bukhari 3167)

• HOTD #249: Sahih Muslim 1767a (4954)

 

HOTD 248: Muhammad says angels at his mosque hate the smell of onions—so he bans onion-eaters from mosque. “Coincidentally,” Muhammad hates the smell of onions

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #248  Sahih Muslim 564a (1252)  [1252] 72 - (564) It was narrated that Jâbir said: "The Messenger of Allâh forbade eating onions and leeks, but we were overcome by need and we ate some of them. He said: 'Whoever eats from these foul- smelling plants, let him not come near our Masjid, for the Angels are offended by the same things that offend humans."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

Sometimes the charlatanry is so obvious, you have to laugh.

In this case, angels—who Muhammad says are made from an entirely different substance than humans (light vs. dirt: Muslim 2996)—still have the exact same sense of smell as humans and “are offended by the same things that offend humans.”

Mind you, what Muhammad really means is: “angels are offended by the same things that offend Muhammad.”

For instance:

• Most humans are offended by sex slavery, but not Muhammad’s angels

• Most humans are not offended by a wife unwilling to have sex one night, but Muhammad’s angels curse such a woman (HOTD 349)

• Most humans are not offended by dogs or art, but Muhammad’s angels are (Bukhari 3322)

The smelly-onion hadith is particularly affecting to me because it made me understand that Muhammad will lie about anything—no matter how small.

He could have been honest and said, "I don't like the smell of onions and there are surely others like me, so please as a courtesy do not go to the mosque after eating them."

Muhammad takes every opportunity to bolster his prophetic credentials by fabricating stories to support his personal desires.

• HOTD #248: Sahih Muslim 564a (1252). See also all related hadiths (561-567) in Sahih Muslim.

 

HOTD 247: Muhammad says—if you pray after cleaning your teeth—an angel will put his mouth against yours and directly ingest into his stomach the words you recite from the Quran

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #247  Musnad al-Bazzar 603  Narrated Abd al-Rahman that Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, ordered the use of the siwak and said that the Prophet said, "When a slave (of Allah) uses the siwak and then stands up in prayer, an angel stands behind him and hears his recital and draws near him," or similar words, "until his mouth is at his. So whatever comes out of it of the Qur'an goes into the belly of the angel. So purify your mouths for the Qur'an."  Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad says if you use a siwak (tooth-stick) before prayer, an angel will be so attracted to your fresh breath that he will place his mouth against yours during prayer.

With his mouth placed against yours, the angel will then ingest into his belly all the words of the Quran you recite. (An Islamic prayer is almost entirely Quran recitation.)

Just absorb that for a moment.

This hadith is similar to HOTD 248 in which Muhammad fabricates an angel story in order to stop Muslims from eating onions before attending mosque.

With his story about mouth-to-mouth resuscitation recitation, an emboldened Muhammad doubles down on the insanity.

• HOTD #247: Musnad al-Bazzar 603. Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani. See also Al-Albani, Al-Silsilah al-Sahihah 1213.

 

HOTD 246: Muhammad says Allah—who knows everything—will give the Black Stone a mouth and eyes to inform Allah who touched it sincerely

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #246  Jami al-Tirmidhi 961  Ibn 'Abbas narrated that the Messenger of Allah said about the (Black) Stone: "By Allah! Allāh will raise it on the Day of Resurrection with two eyes by which it sees, and a tongue that it speaks with, testifying to whoever touched it in truth."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this awe-inspiring hadith, Muhammad explains that on the Day of Judgment, Allah will give the Black Stone a mouth and eyes. The Black Stone will then testify to Allah as to who touched it with sincerity.

The Black Stone is a piece of rock, perhaps meteorite, used by Pagans as a baetyl (sacred stone) prior to Islam.

Muhammad incorporated the Black Stone into Islam. Notably, he would touch and kiss it while circumambulating the Kaaba—remarkably idolatrous behavior for a professed monotheist (Bukhari 1603, 1611). This practice continues among Muslim pilgrims today.

Over time, the Black Stone broke into pieces, and it is now multiple pieces of rock cemented together. While no official dimensions are given, the Black Stone is perhaps 18 inches long. It is embedded into the eastern corner of the Kaaba, the black cube in the Sacred Mosque in Mecca.

While the concept that Allah will give a tongue and eyes to a rock is the most obvious absurdity here, it is also ridiculous that a rock needs to testify to Allah about anything.

Allah already knows everything. So why does He need to animate a rock to testify to Him about knowledge He already has?

And Muhammad knows best.

• HOTD #246: Jami al-Tirmidhi 961. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 245: Muhammad says jihadis are guaranteed Heaven + they will be resurrected bleeding proudly and profusely—with blood smelling of musk

 

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #245  Jami al-Tirmidhi 1657  Mu'adh bin Jabal narrated that the Prophet said: "Whoever fought in the cause of Allah a Muslim man for the time it takes for two milkings of a camel, then Paradise is obligatory for him. And whoever suffered a wound in the cause of Allah, or he suffers from an injury, then he will come on the Day of Resurrection while (his blood will be) more copius than it ever was, its color the color of saffron, and its scent like that of musk."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

The hadith makes two key points:

1. Jihadis, even non-martyrs, are guaranteed Paradise. (Though only martyrs go to Paradise immediately when they die, albeit as green birds. Non-martyrs must wait in their graves for the Day of Judgment.)

2. Jihadis, on the Day of Judgment, will be resurrected with their wounds still intact, proudly and profusely bleeding, with blood smelling of musk.

Point 1 disturbs me because Muhammad is saying: Trying to kill non-Muslims guarantees Paradise. That is evil.

Point 2 disturbs me because it is a comical glorification of violence, of killing non-Muslims. That Muslims will be resurrected from their tailbones (HOTD 269) with saffron-colored blood “more copious than it ever was”—blood that coincidentally smells like the favorite cologne of 7th century Arab men: musk. That is stupid.

I can imagine Muhammad alive today, telling men that their blood will be more copious than ever, smelling like Hugo Boss.

Sometimes a hadith is evil. Sometimes a hadith is stupid.

And sometimes it is both.

• HOTD #245: Jami al-Tirmidhi 1657. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 244: When you have so much lunacy and hate to express—but only ten Arabic words to do it in

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #244  Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir 11946  Narrated Ibn Abbas:  The Prophet said, "Snakes are transmuted jinn, just as monkeys and pigs were transmuted Israelites."  Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

Sometimes I have no words.

• HOTD #244: Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir 11946. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 243: Muhammad massacres the dogs in Medina

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #243  Sahih Muslim 1570c (4018)  [4018] 45 (...) It was narrated that 'Abdullâh bin 'Umar said: "The Messenger of Allâh used to order that dogs be killed, and I went throughout Al-Madînah, and we did not spare any dog but we killed it, to such an extent that we would even kill the dog of a woman belonging to the desert people."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this disturbing hadith, celebrated dog-hater Muhammad crosses the line from being evil to being a caricature of evil.

Muhammad orders all dogs killed, which his deputies in Medina execute so comprehensively that—Ibn Umar highlights—they even killed the dog of a woman who had come from the desert.

While Muhammad is well known for his hatred of dogs, the specifics of his dog policies were ever-changing. Citing Qadi Ayyad, al-Nawawi writes:

The prohibition (on dogs) originally referred to forbidding keeping any of them. And he then ordered the killing of all of them. Then he forbade killing all except those that are black, and he forbade keeping any dog except one used for hunting, farming or herding livestock. (Al-Nawawi, Sharh Sahih Muslim 10/235)

Muhammad orders the mass killing after speaking with the angel Gabriel:

[The angel Gabriel] said: 'Yes, but we do not enter any house in which there is a dog or an image.' The next morning, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ ordered that all dogs be killed, and he even ordered that dogs kept for (guarding) small gardens be killed, but he left the dogs kept for (guarding) large gardens. (Muslim 2105)

Muhammad later softens his stance, saying that Allah must have some reason for their existence:

"Were it not that dogs are an ummah (nation) among the umam (nations), I would order that they all be killed. So kill every one of them that is all black." (Tirmidhi 1486, classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut)

Muhammad’s final stance on killing dogs is that:

1. You can kill a vicious dog (Muslim 1200a)

2. You cannot kill a harmless non-black dog (Tirmidhi 1486 above)

The scholars differ on killing harmless black dogs, in which there is no hadith that clearly abrogates Muhammad's command to kill black dogs, that Muhammad calls "devils." (See HOTD 338)

As “Allah” says Muhammad speaks only from divine inspiration (Quran 53:3-4), divine inspiration is awfully fickle.

• HOTD #243: Sahih Muslim 1570c. See also Musnad Ahmad 6315, classed sahih by Ahmad Shakir and al-Arna’ut. See also IslamQA’s What was narrated on the abrogation of killing dogs and the reason for killing black dogs.

 

HOTD 242: Muhammad sees attractive woman. Gets horny. Releases sexual frustration on cousin-wife. Calls the attractive woman a devil

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #242  Sahih Muslim 1403a (3407)  Chapter 2. Recommendation To The One Who Sees A Woman And Is Attracted To Her, To Go To His Wife Or Slave Woman And Have Intercourse With Her  [3407] 9 (1403) It was narrated from Jâbir that the Messenger of Allâh saw a woman, then he came to his wife Zainab who was tanning a leather, and fulfilled his desire, then he went out to his Companions and said: "A woman comes in the form of a devil and goes in the form of a devil. If one of you sees a woman, let him go to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

“A woman comes in the form of a devil and goes in the form of a devil.”

I have no words.

Well, maybe this: Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

• HOTD #242: Sahih Muslim 1403a (3407)

 

HOTD 241: Muhammad says when you have a fever caused by witchcraft, the cure is to sprinkle water on yourself for three nights

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #241 Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 7438 Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, "If one of you has a fever, let him sprinkle cold water on himself for three nights as a remedy for witchcraft." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi

 

In this hadith, Muhammad goes full Jahiliyya (Period of Ignorance).

He first acknowledges the power of witches and sorcerers. He then creates a ritual of sprinkling yourself with cold water on three consecutive nights as a cure for the witch's spell.

To believe in Islam, you must also believe in witchcraft. The Quran proclaims the existence of witchcraft/sorcery, perhaps most notably in Quran 113:4 . This verse, in which we ask Allah to be protected “from the evil of sorceresses who blow incantations on knots,” is part of Islam’s important supplication, Al-Muawwadhatain (Suras 113 and 114). (See also HOTD 339)

Demonstrating the significance he places on witchcraft, Muhammad makes practicing witchcraft one of Islam’s seven deadly sins (HOTD 302).

Bottom line: As a Muslim, you must believe in witchcraft.

And if you do not believe that evil witches wield real power by blowing on rope knots (Quran 113:4), then I say, “Welcome to our club.”

• HOTD #241: Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 7438. Classed sahih by al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Darani.

 

HOTD 240: Muhammad says ants—upon being resurrected from the dead—will settle the score with ants who wronged them. Then Allah will obliterate the ants into dust. Non-Muslims will only wish they were so lucky

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #240  Musnad Ahmad 8756  Tafsir al-Tabari 24/55  Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Messenger of Allah said, "All creatures will settle the scores between them, even the hornless animal with the horned one, and even one ant with another."  24/55. Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Messenger of Allah said, "Allah will judge between His creation, jinn, men and animals. On that Day, Allah will let the hornless animal settle its score with the horned until, when there is nothing left to be settled, Allah will say to them, 'Be dust.' At that point the infidel will say, 'Would that I were dust.""  Both classed sahih by al-Albani

 

Wrongdoing ants will:

1. Be resurrected from the dead

2. Get their comeuppance

3. Be obliterated into dust, along with righteous ants

And infidels will wish for the same fate as the obliterated ants, proclaiming, "Would that I were dust!" (Quran 78:40)

Thanks Muhammad. Now I know what Nobel Peace Prize winner Juan Manuel Santos will scream on the Day of Resurrection.

• HOTD #240: Musnad Ahmad 8756. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut. Tafsir al-Tabari 24/55. Classed sahih by al-Albani. See also IslamQA’s Settling of scores among the animals on the Day of Resurrection.

 

HOTD 239: Muhammad asks Allah to curse women who pluck their eyebrows, saying they “change the creation of Allah.” Apparently, mutilating a woman's clitoris is not “changing the creation of Allah”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #239  Sunan al-Nasa'i 5112  Narrated Abdullah Ibn Masud:  I heard the Messenger of Allah say, "May Allah curse women who have their eyebrows plucked, women who have tattoos done, and women who have their teeth separated, those who change the creation of Allah, the Mighty and Sublime.”  Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani

 

Three points:

1- Hypocrisy: genital mutilation

It is remarkable that Muhammad forbids eyebrow shaping because it “changes the creation of Allah” but prescribes circumcision, the mutilation of genitalia. If eyebrow hairs are “the creation of Allah,” then certainly the clitoris and foreskin are too.

Regarding FGM, every school of Islamic jurisprudence, with no exception, prescribes FGM. It is either obligatory, as per the Hanbalis and Shafiis, or it is Sunna, as per the Hanafis and Malikis. (See Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Fiqh 32/186 and IslamQA fatwa 60314).

2- Hypocrisy: Muhammad dyes his own hair

Muhammad dyes his own hair. He is recorded dyeing his hair yellow khaluq (Nasai 5088, HOTD 292), red henna (Bukhari 166) and red-black katam, which in combination with henna is his preferred hair dye (Ibn Majah 3622, 3623).

While “changing the creation of Allah” applies to women who shape their eyebrows, apparently it does not apply to a 60-year-old man dyeing his own hair—trying to look young and hip to wives in their teens and 20's.

3- Pettiness

Muhammad asks that Allah curse women—that Allah deny His blessings and mercy to women—who beautify themselves.

Cursing is a big deal. To me, it is both selfish and evil, and never in my life was I comfortable with it, much less cursing a person over something as petty as shaping eyebrows.

It is also uncomfortable how much of Muhammad’s cursing is focused on women. He curses women who pluck their eyebrows, women who have tattoos, women with hair extensions, women who wail in mourning, women who visit graves, and women who deny their husband sex—even for just one night.

But I have a better curse: “May Allah curse men who take sex slaves, men who abuse the creation of Allah, the Mighty and Sublime.”

And to sum up:

Per Islam, mutilating genitalia is prescribed and shaping eyebrows is forbidden.

• HOTD #239: Sunan al-Nasa’i 5112. Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 238: Muhammad says angels stand at the mosque gate on Friday—papers in hand—taking attendance, recording everyone’s order of arrival. The angels then fold their papers to listen to the sermon

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #238  Sahih al-Bukhari 929  Narrated Abu Hurairah :  The Prophet said, "When it is a Friday, the angels stand at the gate of the mosque and keep on writing the names of the persons oming to the mosque in succession according to their arrivals. The example of the one who enters the mosque in the earliest hour is that of one offering a camel (in sacrifice). The one coming next is like one offering a cow and then a ram and then a chicken and then an egg respectively. When the Imam comes out [for Salat-ul-Jumu'ah (Jumu'ah prayer)] they (i.e. angels) fold their papers and listen to the Khutba (religious talk)."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Muhammad has a collection of unearthly carrots and sticks he uses to get Muslims to attend mosque and properly follow the many rituals there.

Muhammad’s story about angels taking attendance—and noting everyone’s order of arrival—is one of my favorites.

It is not just the ridiculousness of the angels hanging out at the mosque gate—papers in hand—that makes me laugh. It is also the thought of the angels sticking around for the dreadful khutba.

I imagine the angels listening to the imam, begging Allah to leave, offering to chase an afreet for Him.

Ahh good times.

• HOTD #238: Sahih al-Bukhari 929

 

HOTD 237: Stick your fingers in your ears when you hear any music. It's Sunna

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #237  Musnad Ahmad 4535  Narrated Nafi:  Ibn Umar heard the sound of a shepherd's flute. He put his fingers in his ears and led his mount away from the road, saying, "O Nafi, do you hear that?" I said, "Yes." Then he moved on until I said, "No (I do not hear it anymore)." So he took his fingers out of his ears and brought his mount back to the road. And he said, "I saw the Messenger of Allah, when he heard the sound of a shepherd's flute, do like this."  Classed sahih by A. Shakir and hasan by by al-Arna'ut  Commentary of al-Qurtubi:  Our scholars said: If this is their action upon hearing a sound within the bounds of moderation, then what (would they have done) about the singing of present day people and their flutes?!

 

So when you’re at the store and there’s background music playing, stick your fingers in your ears while you shop.

It’s Sunna.

• HOTD #237: Musnad Ahmad 4535. Classed sahih by Ahmad Shakir and hasan by al-Arna’ut. See also Tafsir al-Qurtubi 13/121.

See also IslamQA’s Ruling on music, singing and dancing and He loves Islam but he cannot give up classical music.

 

HOTD 236: Muhammad denies a slave his freedom, saying Allah has no need for a freed slave

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #236  Sunan Abu Dawud 3955, 3956  It was narrated from Salamah bin Kuhail, from 'Aṭā', from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that a man stated that his slave would be manumitted upon his death, but he had no other property apart from him, so the Prophet ordered that he be sold for seven hundred, or nine hundred.  It was narrated from Al- Awza'i, he said: "Ata' bin Abi Rabah narrated to me, he said: 'Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated this to me" and he added: "And he," meaning the Prophet, "said: 'You have more right to his price, and Allah has no need of him manumitting his slave.""  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

In this disturbing hadith, Muhammad stops a man from freeing his slave. Instead, he orders that the slave be sold.

Muhammad learned that the Muslim man has no other property than his Coptic Christian slave, and so he makes the man sell him—despite the man's desire that upon his death the slave be freed—to fill the slaveowner’s presumed worldly needs.

Muhammad’s statement to the slaveowner, while translated correctly in meaning, is more literally rendered as: “You have more right to the price, and Allah is the most self-sufficient.”

Shamsul Haq Azimabadi explains:

”You have more right to the price,” that is, the price of the slave for your need and lack or debt that you have. “And Allah is the most self-sufficient,” that is, about this slave’s emancipation relative to your need.

(Awn al-Ma'bud 10/351)

Muhammad’s quote is chilling.

Per Muhammad, Allah values the wealth of Muslim slavemasters more than the freedom of slaves.

And I know, at the foundation of my very being, that is wrong.

• HOTD #236: Sunan Abu Dawud 3955, 3956. Both hadiths classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

See also HOTD 328: Muhammad angry that dying man freed too many slaves. Stops four of the six slaves from freedom.

 

HOTD 235: Muhammad says women are the MOST HARMFUL tribulation to men—apparently worse than war

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #235  Sahih al-Bukhari 5096  Narrated Usama bin Zaid Lag: The Prophet said, "After me I have not left any Fitnah (trial and affliction) more harmful to men than women."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

In this deservedly famous, misogynistic hadith, Muhammad proclaims women as the worst fitnah (trial, tribulation) to men.

I am unaware of any authentic hadith suggesting the converse: that men are a fitnah to women.

Muhammad explains further:

Beware of this world and beware of women, for the first fitnah among the Children of Israel had to do with women. (Muslim 2742)

As a funny (to me) aside, the Bukhari 5096 English translation's wording can be read to mean that Muhammad is the worst fitnah to men. A clearer translation would be: “I have not left behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.”

Muhammad teaches: "Whoever memorizes ten verses from the beginning of Surat Al-Kahf will be protected from the fitnah of the Dajjal (Antichrist)" (Abu Dawud 4323).

So while there are Quranic verses powerful enough to protect a man from the fitnah of the Antichrist, apparently there are none powerful enough to protect a man from the fitnah of a woman.

• HOTD #235: Sahih al-Bukhari 5096

 

HOTD 234: When a narcissist explains who is the “greatest miser”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #234  Ibn Abi Asim,  Kitab al-Salat ala al-Nabi 29  Narrated Abu Dharr: I went out one day, and I came to the Prophet. He said (to the Companions), "Shall I not inform you of the greatest miser?" They said, "Of course, O Messenger of Allah ." He said, "He before whom I am mentioned, but he does not invoke blessings upon me. That is the greatest miser."  Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

When I was a boy, I loved reading my Guinness Book of World Records. In it, there was an entry for World’s Greatest Miser.

It was a woman named Hetty Green. She was a multimillionaire from the 1800’s, and she refused to pay doctors 50 cents to treat her son’s dislocated knee. This resulted in gangrene, and her son’s leg had to be amputated. (Note: her biographer disputes this.)

I remember being horrified, thinking it unimaginable anyone could be a greater miser than that.

But thanks to the wise teachings of Muhammad, I learned of an even greater miser than a multimillionaire parent who refuses to pay 50 cents for a child’s medical treatment.

It is the person who hears mention of the sex-slave owning Prophet—may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him—but then doesn’t send blessings upon him, i.e., most of humanity.

• HOTD #234: Ibn Abi Asim, Kitab al-Salat ala al-Nabi 29. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 233: Muhammad says you’ll go to Hell for not sending blessings upon Muhammad whenever Muhammad is mentioned

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #233  Sahih Ibn Hibban 907  Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Prophet ascended the pulpit and said, "Ameen, ameen, ameen." It was said, "O Messenger of Allah, you ascended the pulpit and said, 'Ameen, ameen, ameen.' He said: "Gabriel came to me and said, 'If Ramadan comes and a person is not forgiven, he will enter Hellfire and Allah will cast him far away. Say Ameen.' So I said Ameen.  He said, 'If both or one of a person's parents are alive and he does not honor them and he dies, he will enter Hellfire and Allah will cast him far away. Say Ameen.' So I said Ameen.  He said, 'If you are mentioned in a person's presence and he does not send blessings upon you and he dies, he will enter Hellfire Allah will cast him far away. Say Ameen.' and So I said Ameen."  Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna'ut

 

Yesterday’s lesson on the "greatest miser" (HOTD 234) was Part 1 of Muhammad-says-you-must-send-blessings-upon-Muhammad.

Today’s lesson from Gabriel Muhammad is Part 2.

When I think of reasons for going to Hell, forgoing blessings to Muhammad wouldn't even make a top 1,000,000 list.

Muhammad is a man who committed:

1. Murder (so so many)

2. Slavery (30+ slaves)

3. Rape (4 sex slaves)

4. Child molestation (Aisha)

5. Thievery (caravan raids)

6. Extortion (jizya)

7. Animal brutality (Medina dog massacre)

Singling out blessings for someone who has committed such evil is evil.

And if going to Hell is the price for being good, so be it.

Ameen.

• HOTD #233: Sahih Ibn Hibban 907. Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 232: Women’s rights in Islam: You have the right to not be hit in the face

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #232  Sunan Abu Dawud 2142  It was reported from Ḥakīm from bin Mu'awiyah Al-Qushairi, his father, that he asked: "O Messenger of Allah! What are the rights that our wives have over us?" He replied: "That you feed her when you eat, and clothe her when you wear clothes, and that you avoid hitting her in the face, or disgracing her, and that you avoid abandoning her except at home."  Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna'ut  Abu Dawud said: The meaning of "disgracing her" is to say: "May Allah disfigure you."

 

In this glorious hadith, Muhammad details women's rights in Islam.

1. When the man eats, the wife can eat too

2. When the man wears clothes, the wife can wear clothes too

3. To not be hit in the face

4. To not have ugliness wished upon her

5. When the man withholds sex, that he neither leave the house nor kick her out of the house

Interestingly, it can be argued that Muhammad violated point 5 when he abandoned his wives by moving to an upper room in his house for a month (Bukhari 2468, 5203).

This occurred after the wives got furious with him when he was caught having sex with his slave Maria in wife Hafsa’s bed—or according to another nonsensical story, for eating honey with his wife Zainab. (See HOTD 268)

In Quran 4:34, Allah establishes a husband’s right to beat his wife if she exhibits nushuz (disobedience). It is consensus among the ulama that, as in the case with beating slaves (HOTD 332), one must avoid hitting the face when beating her.

Women’s rights in Islam: You have the right to not be hit in the face.

• HOTD #232: Sunan Abu Dawud 2142. Classed hasan sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 231: Muhammad says on the Day of Resurrection, Allah will trick thirsty Jews and Christians by leading them to a mirage—causing them to fall into Hellfire + Jews worship Ezra

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #231 Sahih Muslim 183a (454)  183a. Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri:  ...The Messenger of Allah (describing the Day of Resurrection)... said: "The Jews will be called and it will be said to them: 'What did you worship?' They will say: 'We worshipped Ezra the son of Allah." It will be said to them: 'You are liars, for Allah has no wife or son. What do you want?' They will say: 'We are thirsty, O Lord, give us to drink.' It will be pointed out to them: 'Why don't you go there?" And they will be gathered into the Fire, as if it is a mirage, parts of it consuming other parts, and they will fall into the Fire. Then the Christians will be called (and the same events transpire, with Christians instead worshipping the 'Messiah.')"....  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

Dear Jews and Christians,

I need to warn you of something. On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will play a cruel trick on you. But don’t fall for it.

You will be sweaty and thirsty (the sun will be only a mile away, maybe even just an inch away Muslim 2864), and you will say to Allah “We are thirsty, O Lord, give us to drink.”

Then Allah will direct you to water—but this is very important—it is actually a mirage! The mirage—where you think there is water—is in fact Hell. If you go to the mirage, you will fall into the Hellfire. Don’t be tricked.

Sincerely, Your brother in humanity

---

Muhammad also includes in his story the claim that the Jews worship Ezra, who they say is the son of Allah. This is found in Quran 9:30:

The Jews say, "Ezra is the son of Allah"; and the Christians say, "The Messiah is the son of Allah." That is their statement from their mouths; they imitate the saying of those who disbelieved before. May Allah destroy them; how they are deluded!

That Jews believe Ezra is Allah’s son is a claim for which there are no supporting Judaic sources, or any non-Islamic sources. The apologetics for this claim are:

1. Not all Jews
2. Then why didn’t the Jews protest this claim

Not all Jews

In both Arabic and English, the default meaning of al-yahoodu "the Jews" is that it refers to all Jews. The Quran is Allah’s eternal and perfect message to all mankind. There can be no ambiguity.

If Allah, who knows that future generations will be reading the Quran, actually meant by al-yahoodu: “A small number of Jews—who do not live in Israel—who do not follow Judaic scripture—who will become extinct—who will leave no record of their beliefs,” then Allah is a terrible writer, which discredits the entire Quran.

Then why didn’t the Jews protest this claim

1- We do not know that Jews didn't protest this claim. All we know is that the Sahaba did not transmit such protests

2- Why should the Jews have to dignify lies with a response? The obligation is not on Jews to protest lies. The obligation is on “Allah” and Muhammad to tell the truth. And based on the plain meaning of Quran 9:30 and Muslim 183a, they lied.

As an aside, Muslim 183a is a very long hadith but is worth reading. It includes a part where Allah hides his identity to the Muslims, but then reveals himself as Allah by showing his shin. It also includes references to HOTD 252 and HOTD 287.

• HOTD #231: Sahih Muslim 183a (454)

 

HOTD 230: Virgin houris are ashamed when jihadis show cowardice—“So crush the faces of the enemy, and do not let down the wide-eyed houris” + martyrs wear 100 layers of clothes

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #230  Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir vol. 22, no. 641  Narrated Mujahid bin Jabr:  Yazid bin Shajara, and Yazid bin Shajara was one whose words and actions are trusted, delivered a khutba and said, "O people, remember Allah's favor upon you and how good is Allah's favor upon you as may be seen between the green, yellow and red, as in your dwellings." And he said, "If the people stand in rows for prayer then in ranks for combat, the doors of heaven are opened, as are the gates of Paradise gates of Hellfire. The wide-eyed houris are beautified, and they closely watch. If a man and the approaches (the enemy) they say, 'O Allah, grant him victory. And if he flees, they conceal themselves and say, 'O Allah, forgive him.' So crush the faces of the enemy-may my father and mother be sacrificed for you-and do not let down the wide-eyed houris.  For the first drop spilled of his blood will expiate all his prior wrongdoings. And two wives from the wide-eyed houris will descend and wipe the dirt from his face and say, 'We are ready for you.' And he will say, 'I am ready for you.' Then he will be dressed in a hundred garments, whose fabric is not from the children of Adam, but of a plant from Paradise. If placed between the fingers it would expand." And he said, "I was told that swords are the keys to Paradise."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Mundhiri

 

Companion Yazid bin Shajara delivers world religions' greatest sermon.

I never stop smiling when reading this khutba. Every word is gold.

While this hadith exists in marfu (attributable to Muhammad) form (Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir vol. 22, no. 642), it is daif (weak). The mawquf (attributable to a Companion) form is sahih.

However, it is consensus among the uluma that, as all Companions are adil (upright, just), if a Companion’s statement on religious matters cannot have come through his own reasoning or from Judeo-Christian traditions, then his statement is considered marfu.

So can Ibn Shajara’s words be attributed to Muhammad? Al-Mundhiri writes:

And from Jidar, he also recorded the hadith in marfu form and the sahih version in mawquf form. Though it may be said: Such as this cannot be said as an opinion, and the mawquf path can come to be the marfu path. And Allah knows best. (Al-Targhib wal-Tarhib 2/211)

Interestingly, al-Albani believes only the lovely final sentence, “Swords are the keys to Paradise,” can be classified marfu.

Ultimately, I believe that this hadith addresses specifics of the unseen that can be known only by Muhammad. The hadith is likely, though not certainly, marfu.

• HOTD #230: Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir vol. 22, no. 641. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Mundhiri.

 

HOTD 229: Muhammad says to not beat your wife like you beat your slave—for you might have sex with her that night + Don’t laugh at farts

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #229  Sahih al-Bukhari 4942  Narrated 'Abdullah bin Zam'a that he heard the Prophet delivering a Khutba (religious talk), and he mentioned the she- camel and the one who killed it. Allah's Messenger recited: "When the most wicked man among them went forth (to kill the she-camel)." (V.91:12) Then he said, "A tough man whose equal was rare and who enjoyed the protection of his people, like Abi Zam'a, went forth to (kill) it." The Prophet then mentioned about women (in his Khutba) and said, "It is not wise for anyone of you to lash his wife like a slave, for he might sleep with her the same evening." Then he advised them not to laugh when somebody breaks wind, and said, "Why should anybody laugh at what he himself does?"  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Regarding the Perfect Man's wife/slave-beating guidance, I have superior options:

1. Don't beat your wife and don't beat your slave

2. Even better, don't beat your wife and don't even own a slave

Regarding Muhammad's second point, I quote the wise words of Louis C.K.:

"You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to."

• HOTD #229: Sahih al-Bukhari 4942

 

HOTD 228: Muhammad says martyrs want to be killed ten more times because martyrdom (being a green bird) is so awesome

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #228  Sahih Muslim 1877a, b (4867, 4868)  [4867] 108 (1877) It was narrated from Anas bin Mâlik that the Prophet said: "There is no soul that dies, having a good (reward) with Allâh, that would like to return to this world, or to have this world and everything in it, except the martyr, who wishes that he could come back to this world and be killed (again), because of what he sees of the virtue of martyrdom."  [4868] 109 : (...) It was narrated that Qatâdah said: "I heard Anas bin Mâlik narrate that the Prophet said: 'There is no one who enters Paradise and wishes to return to this world, even if he were to have everything that is on earth, except the martyr; he wishes that he could come back and be killed ten times, because of what he sees of honor.""  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this glorious hadith celebrating violence against non-Muslims, Muhammad explains the awesomeness of martyrdom.

Being a martyr is so awesome that martyrs want to come back to Earth just to be killed again—ten times! (See also HOTD 290)

This hadith is bothersome in two ways:

1. It urges and glorifies violence against non-Muslims.

2. The martyrs—who want to come back and get killed ten more times—are green birds.

As an Islamic martyr, you are assured of one of two scenarios upon death:

A) You will be a green bird in Paradise

Their (the martyrs’) souls are in the crops of green birds, which have lamps hanging from the Throne, and they roam freely wherever they want in Paradise, then they return to those lamps. (Sahih Muslim 1887)

B) You will live in a green tent just outside of Paradise

"The martyrs are on the banks of a river at the gate of Paradise in a green tent, and their provision comes out to them from Paradise morning and evening." (Ahmad 2390. Classed hasan by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.)

The scholars explain that Muhammad’s two descriptions are not contradictory. Al-Sanani writes:

It is not a contradiction because it is possible that there are different categories based on one’s status and award before the onset of the Hour. (Tanwir Sharh al-Jami al-Saghir no. 4939)

Question: Wait a second! What about my 72 virgin houris? What about interceding for 70 relatives? What about wearing my special crown?

Answer: Those awards do not come when you die. While you may get a sneak-peek at the houris, your life with houris comes only after the Day of Resurrection. In the meantime, you will be in period called al-Barzakh, the time between your death and the Day of Resurrection.

And who knows how long that will take? For the Day of Resurrection to occur, a black man has to destroy the Kaba (HOTD 298) and women from an extinct tribe have to move their butts around an extinct idol (HOTD 353).

To sum up:

Per Muhammad, you will want to die ten more times while killing non-Muslims—once you know how awesome being a green bird is.

• HOTD #228: Sahih Muslim 1877a, b (4867, 4868)

 

HOTD 227: Muhammad says dwellers of Hell are fire-breathing people (similar to Scorpion in Mortal Kombat). Just one of them can incinerate an enormous mosque on Earth

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #227  Al-Bayhaqi, Al-Ba'th wal-Nushur 603  Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Messenger of Allah said, "If in the mosque there were a hundred thousand people or more, and a man from the people of Hellfire breathed, and they were struck by his breath, he would incinerate the mosque and everyone in it."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Darani

 

In this hadith, we learn from Muhammad that people in Hell breathe fire like dragons.

r/quityourbullshit

• HOTD #227: Al-Bayhaqi, Al-Ba'th wal-Nushur 603. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Darani.

 

HOTD 226: Muhammad sells two black slaves—for a more valuable, non-black slave

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #226  Sahih Muslim 1602 (4113)  Chapter 23. The Permissibility Of Selling Animals For Animals Of The Same Kind And Of Different Quality  [4113] 123 (1602) It was narrated that Jâbir said: "A slave came and swore allegiance to the Prophet, pledging to emigrate, and he did not realize that he was a slave. Then his master came looking for him. The Prophet said: 'Sell him to me,' and he bought him for two black slaves. Then after that he did not accept the oath of allegiance of anyone until he had asked: 'Is he a slave?"  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this noble hadith, Muhammad is fooled by a non-black, presumably Arab, slave into accepting his oath of allegiance and pledge to emigrate.

The slave’s master comes to retrieve the slave, putting Muhammad in an awkward position. So Muhammad goes into his personal stock of black slaves and trades two to the slavemaster, as black slaves are worth less than white slaves.

And then Muhammad—making sure to never again make the mistake that caused him to lose two slaves—makes sure to question all future pledgers if they are slaves or not.

Al-Sindi writes:

”And in it is the meaning of (the Prophet's ﷺ expression), �?A believer should not be stung from the same hole twice.’”

Sharh Musnad Ahmad 8/144

• HOTD #226: Sahih Muslim 1602 (4113)

 

HOTD 225: Muhammad says Muslims get white angels and non-Muslims get black angels. And all angels ask the black angels about the non-Muslim: “Who is this evil soul?”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #225  Musnad Ahmad 18534  Narrated Al-Bara bin Azib:  ...The Messenger of Allah sat down and... said, "When the believing slave is about to depart this world and enter the Hereafter, there come down to him from heaven angels with white faces like the sun...But when the disbelieving slave is about to depart this world and enter the Hereafter, there come down to him from heaven angels with black faces...Then the Angel of Death comes and sits by his head, and he says, 'O evil soul, come forth to the wrath of Allah and His anger.'... Then they ascend and they do not pass by any group of angels but they say, 'Who is this evil soul?' and they say, 'It is So and so the son of So and so, calling him by the worst names by which he was known in this world...Then a voice calls out from heaven, 'Prepare for him a bed from Hell and clothe him from Hell, and open for him a gate to Hell....Then there comes to him a man with an ugly face and ugly clothes, and a foul stench, who says, "Receive the bad news, this is the day that you were promised.'...  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

While this comically hateful hadith is quite long, I encourage you to read the entire text, which I include in a separate comment.

In this hadith, Muhammad details everything that happens to Muslims and non-Muslims immediately upon death.

The excerpt in my post covers just a small part of the hadith’s content. Two points from the excerpt:

1. Muhammad extends racism to the afterlife

2. Muhammad says angels actively insult non-Muslims

Both of these concepts are bizarre and disturbing. Some of the other details within this hadith will be covered in future HOTDs.

While some aspects of the immediate afterlife are omitted in this hadith (for instance, the names of the two interrogating angels: Munkar and Nakir), if you take the time to read this hadith in its entirety, your knowledge of the Islamic immediate afterlife will be superior to that of most imams I know.

And now we know what the Angel of Death said to deceased Nobel Peace Prize winner Nelson Mandela: "O evil soul, come forth to the wrath of Allah."

• HOTD #225: Musnad Ahmad 18534. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. An almost complete translation of the hadith can be found in IslamQA’s “What is al-waneesah”.

 

HOTD 224: To teach a lesson about submitting to a leader, Muhammad highlights mutilated black slaves as the lowest human form

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #224  Sunan Ibn Majah 2861  It was narrated from Umm Husain that She heard the Messenger of Allâh say: "Even if the one appointed over you is a mutilated Ethiopian slave whose nose and ears have been cut off, listen to him and obey, so long as he leads you according to the Book of Allâh."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

This hadith is a sequel to HOTD 340, in which Muhammad says:

Listen and obey (your chief), even if he is an Ethiopian with a head like a raisin.

In the sequel, the example used is not just black, but a black slave. And not just a black slave, but an ajda black slave. Ajda means mutilated by having body extremities cut off, in particular the nose and ears.

Two points:

1. Muhammad highlights mutilated black slaves as the lowest human form to serve as a powerful contrast to a leadership archetype

2. Muhammad includes blackness as a negative trait, to be combined with enslavement and gross mutilation

And that is what makes this hadith even more disturbing to me than the “head like a raisin” hadith—that is, Muhammad specifically includes being black within a collection of distinct, obviously negative traits.

Muhammad’s Arab bias is also found in his preference for freeing Arab slaves. While blacks were obviously disproportionately enslaved compared to Arabs in 7th century Arabia (including by Muhammad himself), Muhammad nevertheless highlights in multiple hadiths the superiority of freeing Arabs. (Bukhari 2543, Abu Dawud 5077, note that the term “descendant of Ishmael” means an Arab)

While Muhammad’s clear goal was to have the entire world accept him as a prophet, he nevertheless clumsily exposes his racist, Arab-supremacist nature in multiple hadiths.

IslamQA issued a fatwa on Arab superiority, citing multiple hadiths. Humorously, they deleted the English translation but kept the Arabic original—of an article on Arab superiority. Thankfully, the Wayback Machine makes it live on.

• HOTD #224: Sunan Ibn Majah 2861. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. See also Sahih Ibn Hibban 4564. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 223: Muhammad curses effeminate men and mannish women—and tells Muslims to kick them out of their houses

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #223  Sahih al-Bukhari 5886  Narrated Ibn Abbas: The Prophet cursed effeminate men and mannish women. He said, “Expel them from your houses." The Prophet expelled So and so, and Umar expelled So and so.  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Evil words and evil actions...from al-Insan al-Kamil (the Perfect Man).

• HOTD #223: Sahih al-Bukhari 5886

 

HOTD 222: Muhammad classes runaway slaves in the group of people most condemned

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #222  Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 590  Narrated Fadalah bin Ubaid:  The Prophet said, "Do not ask about three: (1) A man who departs the community and disobeys the leader and dies as a rebel. Do not ask about him. (2) A male slave or female slave who runs away from his or her master. (3) A woman whose husband is absent and who has sufficient provision and then displays her adornments to strangers and mixes freely. And do not ask about three: (1) A man who contends with Allah regarding His cloak, for pride is His cloak and might is His waist wrap. (2) A man who doubts the command of Allah. (3) One who despairs of Allah's mercy."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut  Commentary of al-Sindi  He said, "Do not ask about them." That is, you cannot grasp their wicked condition and shameful fate, and this is a rhetorical device expressing their condition of utmost disgrace.

 

In this glorious hadith affirming slavemaster rights, Muhammad says it is difficult to fathom the wickedness of, and shameful fate that awaits, runaway slaves.

In his first 40 years of life as a pagan, Muhammad did not buy or capture a single slave. With Islam, Muhammad personally took over thirty slaves (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/114-116), including four sex slaves (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/114).

With repeated offensive jihad and resulting war spoils, the entire Muslim ummah amassed significant wealth and slaves. And conveniently, Muhammad expresses it a grave sin for a slave to run away from his master.

In a separate hadith, Muhammad says Allah rejects the prayers of any runaway slave (or of any woman who angers her husband by denying him sex):

"There are three whose Salat would not rise up beyond their ears: The runaway slave until he returns, a woman who spends a night while her husband is angry with her, and a people's Imam whom they dislike."

Jami al-Tirmidhi 360. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan by al-Albani.

In Al-Adab al-Mufrad 590, the resulting logical conclusion is straightforward:

1. Slavery is immoral

2. Islam condemns those who escape slavery

3. Therefore Islam is immoral

As an aside: Muhammad, your analogies and metaphors are laughable. Allah’s pride is represented by His rida and His might by His izar ?! Are you kidding me?

• HOTD #222: Al-Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 590. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut. See also commentary of al-Sindi in Sharh Musnad Ahmad 14/115.

 

HOTD 221: Israelites claim Moses has a scrotal hernia. A stone steals a naked Moses’ clothes. A naked Moses chases the thieving stone and beats up the stone. Thus Moses shows he has no scrotal hernia

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #221  Sahih al-Bukhari 278  Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Prophet said, "The (people of) Bani Israel used to take bath naked (all together) looking at each other. Prophet Mūsa (Moses) ale used to take bath alone. They said, 'By Allah! Nothing prevents Mūsa from taking a bath with us except that he has a scrotal hernia.' So once Mūsa went out to take a bath and put his clothes over a stone and then that stone ran away with his clothes. Mūsa followed that stone saying, 'My clothes, O stone! My clothes, O stone!", till the people of Bani Israel saw him and said, 'By Allah, Mūsa has got no defect in his body. Mūsa took his clothes and began to beat the stone."  Abu Hurairah added, "By Allah! There are still six or seven marks present on the stone from that excessive beating."  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

But you know what kills me about Muhammad’s made-up tale.

It is that the Israelites were more focused on the scrotal hernia than THERE IS AN ANIMATE STONE STEALING CLOTHES!

• HOTD #221: Sahih al-Bukhari 278

 

HOTD 220: Muhammad says whenever you pass by the grave of a non-Muslim, give him the tidings of Hell

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #220  Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir 326  Narrated Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas: -  A Bedouin came to the Prophet and said, "My father used to uphold the ties of kinship, and so on and so forth where is he now?" He said, "In Hellfire." It was as if the Bedouin found that difficult to bear. Then he said, "O Messenger of Allah, where is your father?" He said, "Whenever you pass by the grave of an infidel, give him the tidings of Hellfire." The Bedouin later became a Muslim, and he said, "The Messenger of Allah gave me a difficult task. I never passed by the grave of an infidel but I would give him the tidings of Hellfire."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Diya al-Maqdisi

 

Muhammad’s hate is breathtaking.

Whatever explanation I can write on this hadith will pale to al-Albani’s truthful and hateful commentary, for which I created a separate post: HOTD 220 supplement: Al-Albani’s commentary.

• HOTD #220: Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Kabir 326. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Diya al-Maqdisi. See also IslamQA’s Ruling on Muslims visiting the graves of kaafirs.

 

HOTD 219: Muhammad says for each enemy you shoot, Allah raises you one degree in Heaven

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #219  Sahih Ibn Hibban 4615, 4616  Abu Najih al-Sulami:  With the Messenger of Allah we besieged Ta'if, and I heard the Messenger of Allah say, "Whoever shoots an arrow in the cause of Allah and it hits its target, it will raise him one degree in Paradise." That day I shot sixteen arrows that hit their targets.  Narrated Shurahbil bin al-Simt:  We said to Ka'b bin Murrah, "O Ka'b! Tell us of Allah and a hadith from the Messenger of Allah be careful." He said, "I heard the Messenger say, 'Whoever hits the enemy with an arrow, Allah will raise him one degree.' Abd al-Rahman bin al-Nahham said, 'O Messenger of Allah, what is a degree?' He said, 'It is not like the doorstep of your mother. Between two degrees is a hundred years (distance).""  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

1 shot enemy = 1 degree higher in Paradise.

Muhammad makes it simple enough for even the dumbest jihadi to understand.

So transparent it's embarrassing.

• HOTD #219: Sahih Ibn Hibban 4615, 4616. Both classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 218: (Theory 1): Master geneticist Muhammad says a child will resemble the parent whose sexual discharge dominates

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #218  Sahih Muslim 314b (715)  314b. Narrated Aisha:  A woman said to the Messenger of Allah ,"Should a woman perform ghusl if she has a wet dream and sees liquid?" He said, "Yes." Aisha said to her, "May your hands be rubbed with dust." The Messenger of Allah said, "Let her be. Can the resemblance (of the child to either parent) come except through that? If her liquid dominates that of the man, then the child will resemble his maternal uncles, and if the man's liquid dominates hers, then he will resemble his paternal uncles."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim  Commentary of Ibn Hajar:  What is meant by "dominance" is the cause of resemblance: according to its abundance, so that the other (liquid) is deluged by it, and thus follows the resemblance.

 

Muhammad begins with a scientific premise that we now know is false: a woman’s sexual discharge causes her child’s resemblance to her.

We now know that the reason for a child’s resemblance to the mother is because a mother’s egg (not her sexual discharge) contains her DNA (a varied, halved version of it).

Muhammad doesn’t even know that a woman has eggs, much less that eggs have genetic information.

Muhammad then doubles down on his incorrect science by saying that the child will most resemble the parent whose liquid dominates, i.e., is most abundant.

Ibn Hajar explains:

What is meant by uluw “dominance” is the cause of resemblance: according to its abundance, so that the other (liquid) is deluged by it, and thus follows the resemblance. (Fath al-Bari 7/273)

And Muhammad “thus follows the resemblance” to a charlatan.

• HOTD #218: Sahih Muslim 314b (715).

 

HOTD 217: (Theory 2): Master geneticist Muhammad says a child will resemble the parent whose sexual discharge comes first

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #217  Sahih al-Bukhari 3329  Narrated Anas: When 'Abdullah bin Salam heard of the arrival of the Prophet at Al-Madina, he came to him and said, "I am going to ask you about three things which nobody knows except a Prophet: ... (3) Why does a child resemble its father, and why does it resemble its maternal uncle (mother's brother)?" Allah's Messenger said, "Jibril (Gabriel) has just now told me of their answers." 'Abdullah said, "He (i.e., Jibril), from amongst all the angels, is the enemy of the Jews." Allah's Messenger said, "... As for the resemblance of the child to its parents: If a man has sexual intercourse with his wife and gets discharge first, the child will resemble the father, and if the woman gets discharge first, the child will resemble her."...  Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

Incredible.

And Muhammad says these words come directly from Gabriel, and thus are the words of Allah.

So Muhammad says the Creator of the Universe—who has perfect knowledge of genetics—explains parental resemblance as based on whose sexual discharge comes first.

Allah could have at least explained to Muhammad that women have eggs (and that eggs are not part of sexual discharge). But Muhammad doesn’t even know that.

Ibn al-Qayyim, consistent with this hadith, explains Islamic genetics:

If one of the two liquids precedes the other, this is the cause for the resemblance to the one whose liquid preceded. And the dominance of one of them is the cause for the child to have the gender of the one whose liquid dominated. (Tuhfat al-Mawdud bi-Ahkam al-Mawlud, 278)

Ibn Hajar, as indicated in HOTD 218, believes the opposite of Ibn al-Qayyim. We will see tomorrow how to reconcile the conflicting hadiths.

Science

A woman’s sexual maa “liquid” can be one of two things, or a combination: a) cervical mucus produced in the cervix, or b) arousal fluid produced by the vaginal walls.

Regarding cervical mucus, it is secreted independently of sex. It is based entirely on a woman’s ovulation cycle. Cervical mucus always “precedes” a man’s ejaculation. Regarding arousal fluid, it is used to lubricate the vaginal walls and also “precedes” a man’s ejaculation.

A woman's sexual liquids come first in order to provide the lubrication necessary for the man's eventual discharge of his sexual liquid. Applying this to Muhammad’s theory, children should grossly and disproportionately resemble their mothers.

If Muhammad is simply referring to who orgasms first (which I suspect he is), then children should grossly and disproportionately look like their fathers, because a man’s ejaculation is necessary for conception, where a woman’s orgasm is not.

In all cases, Muhammad is wrong.

I cannot believe how much of my life was wasted believing this s***.

• HOTD #217: Sahih al-Bukhari 3329.

 

HOTD 216: (Theory 3): Master geneticist Muhammad says a child’s gender is of the parent whose sexual discharge dominates + Jew gets shoved hard + Bulls are slaughtered in Heaven

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #216 Sahih Muslim 315a (716)  315a. Narrated Thawban:  I was standing beside the Messenger of Allah when one of the Jewish rabbis came and said, "Peace be upon you, O Muhammad." I gave him a shove that almost made him fall over. He said, "Why did you push me?" I said, "Why don't you say 'O Messenger of Allah'?"...The Jew said, "I have come to ask you something."...The Messenger of Allah said, "Ask."...The Jew said, "What will be presented to them when they enter Paradise?" He said, "The caudate lobe of the fish liver." He said, "What food will be given to them after that?" He said, "The bull of Paradise, which used to graze along its edges, will be slaughtered for them."...He (the Jew) said, "I will listen. I have come to ask you about the child." He said, "The liquid of the man is white and the liquid of the woman is yellow. If they meet and the discharge of the man dominates the discharge of the woman, it will be a male, by Allah's leave. If the discharge of the woman dominates the discharge of the man, it will be a female, by Allah's leave."...  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

This hadith offers so much:

1- Thawban shoves a Jew for calling Muhammad “Muhammad” instead of “Messenger of Allah”

Remarkably, Muhammad does not rebuke Thawban for his action. In ulum al-hadith, this is known as Muhammad's taqrir, or tacit approval, of the Companion’s behavior.

2- Fish liver will be the first meal in Paradise

Absolutely not. I do not want fish liver. I want pizza or bastilla. And I want my bastilla made with one of the birds of Paradise that look like fluffy camels (HOTD 300). No chicken or squab.

(Note: While Muslim 315a refers to the poor emigrants who enter Paradise, Bukhari 3329, 3938, and 4480 make clear that this first meal applies broadly to the people of Paradise.)

3. Bulls slaughtered in Paradise will be the second meal

Seriously? Bulls get slaughtered in Paradise?!

4. Muhammad explains gender determination

Muhammad explains that a child’s gender is based on whose sexual discharge dominates. Yes really.

We now know that a child’s gender is based on whether the fertilizing sperm has an X (female) or Y (male) chromosome. It has nothing to do with sexual fluid "dominance."

As gender is determined entirely by the sperm, Muhammad's theory of sexual fluid dominance is nonsensical. A man’s discharge contains an equal number of X- and Y-sperm. A man’s discharge is neither more male nor more female. (If anything, men’s seminal fluid contains more X-sperm.)

A woman’s discharge is obviously neither more male or female. A woman’s discharge, i.e., cervical mucus, is meant to protect and nourish all sperm as the sperm travels through the female reproductive tract.

Bottom line:

Muhammad specifically attributes this knowledge to Allah. It is impossible that the Creator of the Universe—who has a perfect understanding of genetics—would explain gender determination as inaccurately as Muhammad does.

• HOTD #216: Sahih Muslim 315a (716)

 

HOTD 216-218 supplement: Islam’s Unified Theory of Genetics

 

Islam's Unified Theory of Genetics  So sabq "antecedence" would be the indication of male and female, and uluw "dominance" the indication for resemblance... What is meant by dominance is the cause of resemblance: according to its abundance, so that the other (liquid) is deluged by it, and thus follows the resemblance.  And this is divided into six sections:  The first: That the man's liquid comes first and is more abundant, so he will be male and resemble the man.  The second: The opposite.  The third: That the man's liquid comes first and the woman's liquid is more abundant, so he will be male and resemble the woman.  The fourth: The opposite.  The fifth: That the man's liquid comes first, and they are equal (in abundance), so he will be male with no distinction in resemblance.  The sixth: The opposite.  Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari 7/273

 

There are several hadiths regarding why children resemble their parents and why children are the gender they are.

While Muhammad’s statements contradict genetic science, there are also contradictions between hadiths. The biggest problem is that a sexual fluid's uluw “dominance�? is attributed to both gender (HOTD 216) and resemblance (HOTD 218).

Ibn Hajar reconciles this by stating:

1. For gender, a sexual fluid’s “dominance�? means its sabq “antecedence�?

2. For resemblance, a sexual fluid’s “dominance�? means its kathra “abundance�?

Ibn Hajar cites al-Qurtubi and a mawquf hadith of Ibn Masud, compiled by al-Bazzar (I am unable to locate it), in support of this.

Interestingly, while Ibn Hajar allows for a tie in sexual liquid abundance (resemblance), he does not allow for a tie in sexual liquid antecedence (gender), thus rejecting transgender people.

While the hadiths contradict all genetic science, this unified theory is favored by most Islamic scholars, as well as by IslamQA.

• HOTD #216-218 supplement: Ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari 7/273. See also: IslamQA’s Issues in the origin and creation of the fetus, his being male or female, and his resemblance to his father or mother (Arabic only).

 

HOTD 215: Muhammad says Israelites raised a dead man from his grave. The dead man complains that they interrupted his prayers

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #215  Ibn Abi Dawud, Al-Ba'th 5  Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:  The Messenger of Allah, blessings and peace of Allah be upon him and his family, said, "A group of Israelites went out walking the land and thinking about it, until they came to a graveyard. They asked Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, to raise one of the dead from amongst its inhabitants, so that they may ask him about death. A man then surfaced to them having the mark of prostration between his eyes. He said, 'Yes people, what did you want?' They said, 'We asked Allah to raise one of the dead, to ask him about death. How is it?' He said, 'It is a major matter to take from me the opportunity of kneeling (in worship). I tasted death for one hundred years and then you called on Allah and He elicited me. So call on Allah to put me back as I was."" He (a subnarrator) said: They called on Allah and He put him back as he was.  Classed sahih by al-Albani

 

O Muhammad, you can spin quite a tale.

Al-Barzakh (the time between death and the Day of Resurrection) is wondrous indeed.

• HOTD #215: Ibn Abi Dawud, Al-Ba'th 5. Classed sahih by al-Albani. See also Ahmad bin Hanbal, Al-Zuhd 88.

 

HOTD 214: Muhammad says in Hell, Allah will make non-Muslims huge—with body parts the size of mountains. This is in order to maximize the torture from burning

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #214 Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 8759  Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Messenger of Allah said, "The molar tooth of the infidel, on the Day of Resurrection, will be like Uhud, and the thickness of his skin will be 70 cubits (105 feet), and his upper arm will be like al-Baida, and his thigh will be like Werqaan, and his seat in the Hellfire will be the distance from here to al-Rabadhah."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi  Commentary of al-Tibi  By increasing the size of the infidel's body. parts, the torture is intensified because of the increased contact with the Fire

 

In this glorious hadith highlighting Allah’s compassion and mercy, Muhammad explains what non-Muslims can expect in Hell.

Muhammad says that a non-Muslim’s body parts will be made the size of various mountains. Uhud, al-Baida, and Werqaan are all mountains.

And the non-Muslim’s skin will be 105 feet thick. This skin thickness is even greater than the height of Muslims in Paradise (90 feet).

To accommodate a non-Muslim’s hugeness, Allah will give a non-Muslim a 100-mile wide seat (and butt?) in the Hellfire, the approximate distance between Medina and al-Rabadhah.

It is consensus among the ulama that the reason for all this is to maximize the torture non-Muslims experience as they burn in Hell.

The more skin to burn, the more pain. (I’m not sure it really works like that. I think you need more pain receptors rather than more surface area).

And Allah is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim.

• HOTD #214: Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 8759. Classed sahih by al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi. Classed sahih by al-Albani. See also commentary in Sharh al-Tibi ala Mishkat al-Masabih, 11/3588.

 

HOTD 213: Muhammad says about crying women who lost their loved one in jihad: “Go and throw sand in their mouths”

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #213 Sahih Muslim 935a (2161)  935a. Amrah narrated that she heard Aishah  say: "When news of the killing of Zaid bin Harithah, Jafar bin Abi Talib and Abdullah bin Rawahah reached the Messenger of Allah, the Messenger of Allah sat down and grief could be seen in his face. She said: "I was watching through the crack of the door and a man came to him and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, the womenfolk of Jafar... and he mentioned their crying. He told him to go and tell them not to do that. So he went, then he came back and told him that they had paid him no heed. He told him a second time to go and tell them not to do that, and he went, then he came back and said: 'By Allah, they will not listen to us, O Messenger of Allah." And she said that the Messenger of Allah said: "Go and throw sand in their mouths." 'Aishah said: "I said: 'May Allah rub your nose in the dust, you did not do what the Messenger of Allah commanded you, and you did not stop annoying the Messenger of Allah."  Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

Muhammad, here’s the thing. It is YOUR fault that the Battle of Mu’ta was a disaster. You disastrously underestimated the Byzantine forces.

But fortunately for you, as is usually the case, you didn’t go to your own battle and have to witness the carnage. (I know, I know. Your excuse is unforgettable. HOTD 290)

But then to order your deputy to THROW SAND IN THE MOUTHS of the grieving women because they are crying excessively. You are a monster. Why don’t you actually go to those women who just lost their loved one because of YOUR mistake, and throw sand in the mouths of the crying women yourself.

I'm sure the women will understand their sand-filled mouths if you explain that their excessive crying is a little too Jahiliyya for your taste.

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, I also find Aisha’s comment to be nasty. She is more worried about Muhammad being annoyed than the women who lost their loved one.

Muhammad also tells a story—contradicting everything he has ever taught about the afterlife—that the man is now in Paradise in human form with angel wings replacing his cut-off arms (Tirmidhi 3763, Bukhari 3709). (Martyrs are supposed to be green birds in Paradise. Muslim 1887)

While Muhammad frequently contradicts himself, offhand I cannot think of any topic on which he makes more contradictory statements than al-Barzakh (the period between death and the Day of Resurrection).

• HOTD #213: Sahih Muslim 935a (2161).

 

HOTD 212: Muhammad says deeds are shown to Allah twice daily—no, wait, semiweekly—no, wait, annually…The tragic tale of a prophet who couldn’t get his story straight

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #212  Sahih Muslim 179a, 2565d  Sunan al-Nasa'i 2359  179a. Narrated Abu Musa:  The Messenger of Allah stood up and told us five things. He said, "...the deeds of the night are taken up to Him (Allah) before the deeds of the day, and the deeds of the day before the deeds of the night..."  2565d. Narrated Abu Hurairah:  The Messenger of Allah said, "The people's deeds are presented (before Allah) twice every week, on Mondays and Thursdays..."  Narrated Usamah bin Zaid:  I said, "O Messenger of Allah, I do not see you fasting any month as much as Shaban." He said, "That is a month to which people do not pay much attention, between Rajab and Ramadan. It is a month in which the deeds are taken up to the Lord of the worlds, and I like that my deeds to be taken up when I am fasting."

 

While only one of his failings, Muhammad’s endless contradictions particularly resonate with me, as they directly attest to his charlatanry.

It's as if he's just making this up as he goes along, and he can't keep track of what he’s already said—which is a problem faced by all serial liars.

The deeds-presented-to-Allah contradictions are especially bad, and with 1400 years to come up with a defense, the ulama has come up with nothing.

IslamQA’s explanation of this is priceless, and I encourage you to read Fatwa 186418.

IslamQA explains:

Question:

...I am confused: if there is a daily showing throughout the year, then there is no need for the weekly showing which includes the daily showing, and there is also no need for the annual showing which includes both of them. Is this correct?

Answer:

The taking up of deeds and showing them to Allah, may He be exalted, daily, weekly and annually is indicated by the saheeh Sunnah and the words of the scholars …As that is the case, it is not permissible for anyone to question why Allah does something, or to think that anything narrated in a sound text is contrary to wisdom, because that will result in confusion and doubts. Rather what is required is to say as the believers before him said: We hear and we obey. …

But as the question was about the wisdom behind showing deeds to Allah, may He be exalted, every day, then every week, then every year, according to what is proven in the Sunnah, the answer is that Allah knows best about the wisdom behind that, and He has not explained it to us, and His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) has not explained it to us. …

“The foot of Islam cannot be steadfast except on the basis of acceptance without questioning and of surrendering”... What is meant is that commitment to Islam cannot be steadfast unless the individual accepts the texts of the Qur’an and Sunnah and submits to them, without questioning them or opposing them on the basis of his opinion, rational thinking and analogy.

Bottom line: Muhammad can’t get his story straight. The ulama can’t come up with anything, and they go into desperation mode by saying that we have to just shut up, not think, and submit.

But the answer is so obvious:

The man who prays against the evil of his clothes (HOTD 360) and says that Allah gives you 100 points for killing a gecko (HOTD 354) is a charlatan.

• HOTD #212: Sahih Muslim 179a (445). Sahih Muslim 2565d (6547). Both classed sahih by Imam Muslim. Sunan al-Nasa’i 2359. Classed hasan by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 211: Muhammad says Moses gets lost because he didn’t know to carry Joseph’s bones. Moses digs up the bones—and the bones generate a dazzling light on the correct route out of Egypt

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #211  Musnad Abu Ya'la 7254  Narrated Abi Musa al-Ash'ari:  A Bedouin came to the Prophet, and he honored him. He said, "Come forward." Then he came. Then the Prophet said, "Ask your favor." He said, "A camel to ride and goats for my parents to milk." So the Prophet said, "Are you unable to be like an old woman of the Israelites?" He said, "When Moses walked with the Israelites from Egypt, they lost their way, so he asked, 'What is happening?' Their scholars answered, 'When Joseph was about to die, he took from us a promise under Allah that we not leave Egypt without taking his bones with us.' So he said, 'Who knows where his grave is?' They said, 'An old woman from the Israelites.' So he sent for her and said, 'Show me the grave of Joseph." She said, 'Not until you give me my due.' He said, 'What is your due?' She said, 'That I shall be with you in Paradise.' He loathed to give that to her. Then Allah inspired him, 'Indeed, give her due to her.' So she took them to a lake, a place of stagnant water, and she said, 'Drain away this water.' They did. She said, 'Dig and extract Joseph's bones.' And when they moved them to the ground, the route shone like daylight."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Darani

 

Just how stupid were Muhammad’s Companions to believe this?

Or did it just not matter as long as the slaves and war booty kept coming in?

Clearly the highlight of this hadith is the stupidity of Joseph’s bones being some kind of advanced navigation system.

But, more subtly, I love that Moses, after getting everyone lost, has to consult with Israelite scholars to find out about Joseph’s bones. It seems like Allah would have mentioned this critical fact to Moses before leading the Exodus. Muhammad often takes the opportunity to make the Jews’ most important prophet appear buffoonish. (See for instance HOTD 221)

As an aside, the meaning of Muhammad’s statement, “Are you unable to be like an old woman of the Israelites?” is that Muhammad believes the Bedouin should have requested to be in Paradise with him, just as the old woman had asked of Moses—rather than the Bedouin’s actual more mundane request for a camel and goats.

• HOTD #211: Musnad Abu Ya'la 7254. Classed sahih by al-Albani and hasan by al-Darani.

 

HOTD 210: Muhammad says Adam saw his penis for the first time after sinning. This startles him, causing him to try to escape from Paradise. But then a talking tree grabs him, foiling his escape

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #210  Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 3038  Narrated Ubayy bin Ka'b:  The Prophet said, "Indeed, Adam was a tall man, like a towering palm tree, with much head hair. And when he sinned his nakedness appeared to him, and he had not seen it before. So he ran from Paradise, and a tree snagged him. He said, 'Release me.' It said, 'I am not releasing you." He said, "And his Lord called him, 'O Adam, are you running away from Me?' He said, 'O Lord, I am ashamed before You.""  Classed sahih by al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi

 

I have no words.

• HOTD #210: Al-Hakim, Al-Mustadrak 3038. Classed sahih by al-Hakim and confirmed by al-Dhahabi.

 

HOTD 209: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#1: Freeing a slave

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #209  Jami al-Tirmidhi 1547  -  Abū Umamah, and other than him from the Companions of the Prophet, narrated that the Prophet said: "Any Muslim man who frees a Muslim man, then it is his salvation from the Fire each of his limbs suffices for a limb of himself. And any Muslim man that frees two Muslim women, they are his salvation from the Fire each of their limbs suffices for a limb of himself. And any Muslim woman that frees a Muslim woman, then she is her salvation from the Fire - each of her limbs suffices for a limb of herself."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut  Commentary of Ibn al-Qayyim  "This indicates that freeing a male slave is superior and that freeing a male slave is equivalent to freeing two female slaves. This is why he freed more male slaves. And this is one of the five ways in which a female is equivalent to half of a male."

 

This is part 1 in a five-part series: “Islam: the five ways a woman is half a man.”

Ibn al-Qayyim states that there are five ways in which a woman is half a man, which he explains beginning with a discussion of Tirmidhi 1547. He writes:

This indicates that freeing a male slave is superior and that freeing one male slave is equivalent to freeing two female slaves. This is why he ﷺ freed more male slaves. And this is one of the five ways in which a female is equivalent to half of a male.

The second is aqiqah. For the female is one sheep and for the male is two sheep, according to the majority. And there are several sahih and hasan hadiths affirming this. The third is testimony. The testimony of two women equals the testimony of one man. The fourth is inheritance. And the fifth is blood money.

Ibn al-Qayyim, Zad al-Ma’ad 1/154

And Allah helpfully makes the math behind a woman’s inferiority simple enough for even the dumbest man to understand. The equation of divine perfection is: 1 woman = ½ man.

Because Muhammad has the remarkable ability to incorporate evil into even the most wholesome actions—like freeing a slave—he introduces sexism into emancipation.

And then layering onto sexism, Muhammad adds a dose of anti-kafirism by making it clear in the hadith that Allah is rewarding only the freeing of Muslim slaves. Al-Shawkani writes:

One is not entitled to the reward mentioned unless it is a Muslim slave that is freed.

Al-Shawkani, Nayl al-Awtar no. 2592

To Allah, all people are not equal. It is superior to free Muslims. It is superior to free men. And it is superior to free Arabs (Abu Dawud 5077. “The descendants of Isma'il” refers to Arabs).

The hadith also makes it clear that only Muslims get a reward for freeing a slave. Al-Shawkani writes:

In it is evidence that this reward is uniquely for manumitters who are Muslim. There is no reward for the infidel who manumits unless he eventually comes to Islam.

Al-Shawkani, Nayl al-Awtar no. 2592

• HOTD #209: Jami al-Tirmidhi 1547. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 208: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#2: Aqiqah (animal sacrifice for a newborn)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #208  Sunan Ibn Majah 3163  It was narrated that 'Aishah said: "The Messenger of Allâh commanded us to sacrifice two sheep for a boy's 'Aqiqah and one sheep for a girl."  Classed sahih by al-Albani and qawi (strong) by al-Arna'ut  Commentary of Ibn al-Qayyim "As for the aqiqah, the command- ment of preference (for the boy) is based on the honor of the male and in what Allah distinguished in him from the female-and because through him (the son), the grace upon the father is fuller, and the joy and happiness in him is more complete. The gratitude for him is greater."

 

This is part 2 in a five-part series: “Islam: the five ways a woman is half a man.”

Ibn al-Qayyim writes there are “five ways in which a female is equivalent to half of a male.” They are (1) freeing a slave, (2) aqiqah, (3) testimony, (4) inheritance, and (5) blood money. (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/154)

Aqiqah is the slaughtering of an animal, usually a sheep or goat, on behalf of a newborn. For a boy, Allah gets two sheep, and for a girl, Allah gets one sheep.

Aqiqah was a pagan ritual that Muhammad coopted for Islam.

Narrated Abu Buraidah al-Aslami:

During the Period of Ignorance, if a boy was born to one of us, we sacrificed a sheep and smeared his head with its blood. When Allah brought Islam, we would sacrifice a sheep, and we would shave his head, and smear saffron on it. (Abu Dawud 2843. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani.)

So why does Allah want sheep sacrificed for Him? Muhammad explains the reason:

Every boy is in pledge for his aqiqah, so slaughter for him on the seventh day, and shave his head, and name him. (Nasa’i 4225. Classed sahih by al-Albani.)

Most scholars state that the expression “in pledge for his aqiqah” means that offering aqiqah allows the child to intercede for his parents if the child dies early. Al-Khattabi, as cited by Ibn Hajar, writes:

People differed in this. The best of what was said was from Ahmad bin Hanbal, who said, “This refers to intercession. If one does not offer aqiqah, were the child to die he could not intercede on behalf of his parents.” (Fath al-Bari 9/594)

This is also supported by words of senior tabi tabi’un (successor of the Successors) Ata al-Khurasani, who was a faqih (jurist) and mufassir (Quran exegete):

Narrated Yahya bin Hamza: I asked Ata al-Khurasani, “What does �?in pledge for his aqiqah’ mean?” He said, “He is denied the intercession of his son.” (Sunan al-Bayhaqi 19266)

Muhammad even performed this remarkably pagan ritual on his own behalf after he became prophet:

Narrated Anas bin Malik that the Prophet ﷺ, “He offered aqiqah for himself after he was made a prophet.” (Al-Tabarani, Al-Mujam al-Awsat 994. Classed sahih by al-Diya al-Maqdisi and hasan by al-Albani.)

So why does Allah want two sheep for a boy and only one sheep for a girl? Ibn al-Qayyim writes:

As for the aqiqah, the commandment of preference (for the boy) is based on the honor of the male and in what Allah distinguished in him from the female—and because through him (the son), the grace upon the father is fuller, and the joy and happiness in him is more complete. The gratitude for him is greater. (Ilam al-Muwaqqin an Rabb al-Alamin 2/115)

Ultimately, aqiqah is a pagan ritual coopted by Muhammad for Islam—premised on Allah wanting His creations (humans) to kill His other creations (sheep, goats) for Him. Women should rejoice that this stupidity is not doubled for them.

tl;dr: Boys make their fathers happier, so we need to kill more sheep for them.

• HOTD #208: Sunan Ibn Majah 3163. Classed sahih by al-Albani and qawi (strong) by al-Arna’ut. See also IslamQA’s What are the rulings on aqeeqah for a baby boy?

 

HOTD 207: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#3: Testimony

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #207 Sahih al-Bukhari 2658 Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri: The Prophet said, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?" The women said, "Yes." He said, "This is because of the deficiency of a woman's mind." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari Commentary of Ibn al-Qayyim "The All-Mighty, the All-Wise indicated in his Book that women are weak-minded and cannot keep what they memorize. And Allah has favored men over women in reason, understanding, memory and discernment.”

 

This is part 3 in a five-part series: “Islam: the five ways a woman is half a man.”

Ibn al-Qayyim writes there are “five ways in which a female is equivalent to half of a male.” They are (1) freeing a slave, (2) aqiqah, (3) testimony, (4) inheritance, and (5) blood money. (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/154)

That women’s testimony is worth half that of a man is found in Quran 2:282:

“…And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her…”

It should be noted that 2:282 is referring to contracts, not matters related to hadd and qisas punishments, for which a woman’s testimony is disallowed.

In discussing 2:282, Ibn Hajar, quoting Ibn al-Mundhir, writes:

The scholars unanimously agreed on the meaning of this verse, and they permitted the testimony of the women with the men. The majority allowed it in matters of debt and finances and said: we do not allow their testimony in matters of hadd (prescribed) punishments and qisas (retaliatory) punishments. And they differed in matters of marriage, divorce, lineage, and al-wala. The majority disallowed them (women), and the Kufis (i.e., Hanafis) allowed them. (Fath al-Bari 5/266)

As indicated above, every school of Islamic jurisprudence:

1. Disallows a woman’s testimony on hadd and qisas punishments (murder, adultery, alcohol, etc.)

2. Allows a woman’s testimony—at half the value of a man’s testimony—in the case of financial matters

Most matters require two witnesses, except for adultery, which requires four witnesses.

And why is a woman’s testimony worth half the testimony of a man? Muhammad explains in the hadith:

This is because of the deficiency of a women’s mind.

Ibn al-Qayyim elaborates:

The All-Mighty, the All-Wise indicated in his Book that women are weak-minded and cannot keep what they memorize. And Allah has favored men over women in reason, understanding, memory, and discernment. (Ilam al-Muwaqqin an Rabb al-Alamin 2/114)

• HOTD #207: Sahih al-Bukhari 2658

 

HOTD 206: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#4: Inheritance

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #206 Sahih al-Bukhari 2747 Narrated Ibn 'Abbas The custom (in olden days) was that the property of the deceased would be inherited by his offspring; as for the parents (of the deceased), they would inherit by will of the deceased. Then Allah cancelled from that custom whatever He wished and fixed for the male double the amount inherited by the female, and for each parent a sixth (of the whole legacy) and for the wife an eighth (2) or a fourth(3) and for the husband a half or a fourth. Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

This is part 4 in a five-part series: “Islam: the five ways a woman is half a man.”

Ibn al-Qayyim writes, there are “five ways in which a female is equivalent to half of a male.” They are (1) freeing a slave, (2) aqiqah, (3) testimony, (4) inheritance, and (5) blood money. (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/154)

The calculation of inheritance comes from three Quranic verses: 4:11-12 and 4:176.

Ibn al-Qayyim explains why women receive half:

As for inheritance, the wisdom of preference (for the male) is obvious. The male is in greater need of the money than the female because men are supporting women. And the male is more beneficial than a female to the deceased while he is alive.

Ibn al-Qayyim, Ilam al-Muwaqqin an Rabb al-Alamin 2/115

Several points:

1- Inheritance is a one-time benefit, independent of who is working to financially support the family. A woman can use inheritance for the benefit of her spouse and family just as capably as a man can.

2- The rules are excessively rigid and do not adapt to the unique circumstances of each family.

3- It is bizarrely unfair. Imagine a wealthy parent who dies, leaving only a married son and a married daughter, both wanting to start their own families. It is illogical that the son gets double the wealth of the daughter. The most equitable scenario would be that the son and daughter receive the same amount and both new families equally benefit.

4- Half-a-man does not make sense for spousal inheritance because the widow typically has no source of income. As a very simple example, imagine a married couple, 50 years old, with no kids. The wife receives only 25% from her deceased husband, but the husband receives 50% from his deceased wife.

If anything, the wife should receive a HIGHER share, especially in an Islamic society, because: 1) her employment prospects are poor, and 2) her prospects of getting remarried—and thus financially supported—in her 50's are poor. She likely will have to fend the rest of her life with no income.

5- Given Ibn al-Qayyim's logic, the premise must be that the woman does not earn income. If a woman earns income, as plenty of Muslim women do, then she should receive more than half of a man. In fact, if a woman earns similar income to her husband and still does the bulk of the housework, she deserves more than the man.

6- The last point made by Ibn al-Qayyim--"And the male is more beneficial than a female to the deceased while he is alive"--is particularly dubious. I do not feel that my son has been “more beneficial” to me than my daughter, and that certainly should not be justification for me giving my son double the inheritance of my daughter.

Bottom line, "Allah's” one-size-fits-all inheritance rules poorly adapt to the unique circumstances of every family—and are sexist to boot.

Despite all that, it is not the inequity of inheritance that bothers me the most about Islamic inheritance. Rather, it is this: Quran's Mathematical Errors in Inheritance.

• HOTD #206: Sahih al-Bukhari 2747

 

Quran’s Mathematical Errors in Inheritance

Allah’s rules of inheritance are laid out in Quran 4:11-12 and 4:176.

It is difficult to overstate how poorly written and poorly thought out these verses are.

When reading them, I feel that I am actually entering Muhammad’s overwhelmed mind, in which he is trying to come up with verses that can account for multiple scenarios (multiple siblings, multiple children, etc.), but that Muhammad is in way over his head and can't pull it off.

4:11 even starts out badly with Allah incorrectly using the phrase “more than two” when He must mean “two or more.”

But the greatest problem with Allah’s inheritance rules is that they result in multiple situations in which the total of the inheritance pie adds up to more than 100%. It is an extraordinary mathematical error by the Creator of the Universe.

Example 1:

A deceased man leaves behind a wife, two daughters, a mother and father. The wife receives ⅛. The two daughters share ⅔. The mother and father each get ⅙. Per the Quran’s math, the total combined is 1 ⅛. Oops.

(The comparative Sunni and Shia adjustments can be found at “Al-Awl,” al-islam.org)

Example 2:

A deceased woman leaves behind a husband and two sisters. The husband receives ½ and the sisters share ⅔. Per the Quran’s math, the total is 1 ⅙. Oops.

(The comparative Sunni and Shia adjustments can be found in Shabaz Ahmad Cheema, Shia and Sunni Laws of Inheritance: A Comparative Analysis, 77-78)

For fun, go to www.inheritancecalculator.net, a Sunni inheritance calculator, and type those two scenarios in. You will receive the message: “Total shares have exceeded 100%. Shares need to be reduced proportionally,” and the website does so through a process called awl. The problem is that nowhere does the Quran or Muhammad say to “reduce proportionally.” It is simply a method developed by humans to fix the mathematical error.

But Shia jurisprudence rejects awl, and solves the mathematical error differently, which highlights that there is no clear prescription on how to solve the Quran’s mathematical error.

In Islam, the Creator of Two Trillion Galaxies can’t add fractions.

• Supplement to HOTD 206

 

HOTD 205: Islam: The five ways a woman is half a man—#5: Blood money

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #205 Sunan al-Bayhaqi 16308 Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 28049 Narrated al-Sha'bi: Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, used to say, "Injuries of a woman are compensated at half the blood money of a man, for low and high (severity)." Narrated Urwah al-Bariqi: Umar said, "The compensation for an injury of a tooth and a wound that exposes bone is equal for a man and a woman. Above that, the blood money of a woman is half the blood money of a man." Both classed sahih by al-Albani Commentary of Ibn al-Qayyim: "As for blood money, it is because the woman is inferior to the man, and he is more useful than her, and he can be appointed to positions that cannot be filled by a woman in affairs of religion, state, border protection, jihad, land development-and in the fields needed to benefit the industries of the world, and in the defense of land and religion."

 

This is part 5 in a five-part series: “Islam: the five ways a woman is half a man.”

Ibn al-Qayyim writes there are “five ways in which a female is equivalent to half of a male.” They are (1) freeing a slave, (2) aqiqah, (3) testimony, (4) inheritance, and (5) blood money. (Zad al-Ma’ad 1/154)

Diya (blood money) is monetary compensation for injuries or death. The victim or victim’s family may take blood money in lieu of qisas (retaliation in kind).

Every school of Islamic jurisprudence, with no exception, compensates a woman’s injuries and death at half the rate for a man (with some variations for less severe injuries, for which men and women may be compensated equally).

There are two marfu hadiths (narrations of Muhammad) used to support a woman’s blood money being half that of a man. But both are daif weak (Sunan al-Nasa’i 4809, Sunan al-Bayhaqi 16305).

However, there are sahih hadiths narrated by the caliphs Umar and Ali that state the same. And as Muhammad commands:

Whoever among you lives after I am gone…must adhere to my Sunna and the Sunna of the Rightly Guided Caliphs.

Sunan Abu Dawud 4607. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arnaut.

And why should a woman’s injuries and death be compensated at half the rate of men? Ibn al-Qayyim explains:

As for blood money, it is because the woman is inferior to the man, and he is more useful than her, and he can be appointed to positions that cannot be filled by a woman in affairs of religion, state, border protection, jihad, land development—and in the fields needed to benefit the industries of the world, and in the defense of land and religion.

Ibn al-Qayyim, Ilam al-Muwaqqin an Rabb al-Alamin 2/114

And so Shariah states that if a man is killed, his family is owed the value of 100 camels. But if a woman is killed, her family is owed the value of 50 camels.

And this completes the five-part series. So while Muhammad's Allah can't add fractions, He can create an equation of divine perfection: 1 woman = 1/2 man.

• HOTD #205: Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 28049, Sunan al-Bayhaqi 16308. See also Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 28051, in which senior Sahib Ibn Masud states that blood money is half for a woman. All three hadiths classed sahih by al-Albani.

 

HOTD 204: Muhammad says people in Heaven have a weekly Friday gathering with Allah where Allah gives extra food & drink and clothes + Virgin houris live in rooms made of green emeralds and red rubies

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #204 Musnad Abu Ya'la 4228 Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Messenger of Allah said, "Gabriel came to me with something like a white mirror, on which there was a black spot. I said, 'O Gabriel, what is this?' He said, 'This is Friday. Allah made it a day of celebration for you and your nation, so you precede the Jews and the Christians. On it, there is an hour in which no slave would ask Allah for something good, but He would give it to him.' I said, 'What is this black spot?' He said, 'This is the Day of Resurrection, which will come on a Friday, and we call it (i.e., Friday) "More." I said, 'What is the Day of More?' He said, 'Allah made in Paradise a lush valley, with dunes of white musk. When it is Friday, Allah descends upon it, where seats of gold are set for the Prophets and footstools of pearl for the martyrs. And the wide-eyed houris come down from their chambers, praising and glorifying Allah. Then Allah says, 'Clothe My slaves.' And they are clothed. And He says, 'Feed My slaves.' And they are fed. And He says, 'Give My slaves to drink.' And they are given to drink. And He says, 'Perfume My slaves.' And they are perfumed. Then He says, 'What do you want?' They say, 'Our Lord, Your pleasure.' He says, 'I am pleased with you.' Then He commands them to leave, and the wide-eyed houris ascend back to their chambers, made of green emeralds and red rubies." Classed sahih by al-Darani and hasan by al-Wadi'i

 

In this awe-inspiring hadith, the angel Gabriel explains to Muhammad what will happen every Friday in Paradise after the Day of Resurrection.

First, in Paradise, Friday will be called Yawm al-Mazeed (Day of More), which is a reference to Quran 50:35:

There they will have all that they desire, and We have more.

On Fridays, the people of Paradise will gather in a lush valley that smells of musk. The prophets and martyrs will get the best seats. The virgin houris will also make an appearance. Then Allah will give everyone extra food & drink, clothes and perfume—all laughably earth-centric items.

After everyone gets their stuff, Allah dismisses them and they return to their Paradise dwellings. And the virgin houris return to their chambers made of green emeralds and red rubies.

I love to laugh.

• HOTD #204: Musnad Abu Ya'la 4228. Classed sahih by al-Darani and hasan by al-Wadi’i.

 

HOTD 203: Muhammad explains how Islam is the Religion of Peace and only defensive jihad is allowed (/s)

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #203 Sahih Muslim 1918a (4947) Chapter 52. The Virtue Of Shooting And Encouragement To Learn It, And Criticism Of The One Who Learns It And Then Forgets It [4947] 168 - (1918) It was narrated that 'Uqbah bin 'Amir said: "I heard the Messenger of Allâh say: 'Lands will be conquered by you and Allâh will suffice you, so no one of you should give up playing with arrows. Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

While I have seen no fatwa on the matter, I believe most, if not all, fuqaha (Islamic jurists) would extend Muhammad’s command of practicing archery to modern weaponry.

The purpose of archery in this hadith is to kill the kuffar and expand Islamic rule. These goals naturally extend to modern weaponry.

• HOTD #203: Sahih Muslim 1918a (4947)

 

HOTD 202: Muhammad quotes Allah’s exact words—“A guarantee from Me”—promising war booty or Paradise to all jihadis

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #202 Jami al-Tirmidhi 1620 Anas [bin Malik] narrated: "The Messenger of Allah said: (meaning): Allāh [Mighty and Sublime is He] says: .[1] 'The Mujahid in My cause, he has a guarantee from Me. If I seize him, I cause him to inherit Paradise, and if I return him, I return him with a reward or spoils of war." Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna'ut

 

So first, what is jihad? Muhammad answers the question:

…He asked, “What is jihad?” He said, “That you fight (qatil, really, 'try to kill') the infidels when you encounter them.” He asked, “Which jihad is best?” He said, “The one whose horse is slain while his blood is shed.”…

Musnad Ahmad 17027. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut.

So in today’s hadith, Allah gives his personal guarantee to all mujahideen, i.e., jihadis. Allah says if you fight in jihad, you will either:

1. Die. Go to Paradise

2. Live. Get war booty

3. Live. If no war booty available, then extra reward in Paradise (e.g., more virgin houris, nicer house, nicer clothes, live closer to Allah, etc.)

Yes, Muhammad, I know, I know. Killing non-Muslims is the greatest thing in the world.

But Muhammad, be careful. If you are lying—which you are—then you really better hope there is no Allah, because I can’t imagine anything that will piss Him off more than falsely QUOTING Him to kill His creations in His name.

Oh wait, that’s your Quran too.

• HOTD #202: Jami al-Tirmidhi 1620. Classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

 

HOTD 201: Muhammad says if you keep a horse for jihad, Allah will reward you every time your jihadi horse defecates

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #201 Sahih al-Bukhari 2853 (45) CHAPTER. (The superiority of) the one who keeps a horse (for the purpose of Jihad in Allah's Cause), as is indicated by the جل جلاله Statement of Allah "[And make ready against them all you can of power,] including steeds of war (tanks, planes, missiles, artillery etc.)..." (V.8:60) Narrated Abu Hurairah The Prophet said, "If somebody keeps a horse (for Jihad) in Allāh's Cause, motivated by his faith in Allah and his belief in His Promise, then he will be rewarded on the Day of Resurrection for what the horse has eaten or drunk and for its dung and urine as good deeds in his balance." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

O the magical world of hasanaat.

Allah evaluates people on a point system in which Muslims try to accumulate as many hasanaat (good deed points) and avoid sayi’aat (bad deed points). A typical good deed gives you ten points. Certain good deeds give you more, such as killing a gecko on the first try, which gives you 100 points (HOTD 354).

There are also special multipliers for good deeds undertaken at a certain time or place. For instance, Allah applies a 30,000 multiplier to good deeds done on the Night of al-Qadr (Quran 97:3) and a 100,000+ multiplier on prayers done within the Holy Mosque in Mecca (Ibn Majah 1406). (Imagine praying in the Holy Mosque on the Night of al-Qadr!)

In today’s hadith, Muhammad explains that you are also rewarded for every time your jihadi horse defecates or urinates. A similar hadith explains:

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

The Messenger of Allah said, "Whoever keeps a horse for the Cause of Allah out of faith in Allah and believing the promise of Allah, its feed, water, urine and dung will all count as hasanaat in the balance of his deeds."

Sunan al-Nasa’i 3612. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

Sometimes Muhammad is really cringy in how he oversells his product.

• HOTD #201: Sahih al-Bukhari 2853. See also Sunan Ibn Majah 2788, classed sahih by al-Albani and al-Arna’ut.

HOTD 200: Muhammad: Don’t steal what I stole!

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #200 Sunan Ibn Majah 2850 Narrated Ubadah bin Samit: The Messenger of Allah led us in prayer on the Day of Hunain, beside a camel that was part of the spoils of war. ...Then he said, "...For stealing from the spoils of war will be a source of shame for those who do it, and ignominy and Fire, on the Day of Resurrection." Classed sahih by al-Arna'ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani

 

In this magnificent hadith, Muhammad highlights one of the major sins in Islam: ghulul (stealing from war spoils), which Muhammad says results in Hell.

This is like a mob boss telling his deputies not to steal from the money they rob.

It’s all so laughably immoral. Muhammad’s actions—and thus Islamic law—are in violation of every international treaty addressing war booty.

IslamQA explains why war booty is not stealing:

Stealing means taking property by stealth and unlawfully from its proper place. This is something completely different, for the wealth of jihad, the spoils of war and the booty, are taken from the kuffar by right. We are given permission to do so by shari’ah and it is allowed for us to do this as Allah says: “So enjoy what you have gotten of booty in war, lawful and good.” [al-Anfaal 8:69] And the Prophet ﷺ used to do this in his wars and his jihad against the kuffar, when he confiscated their property and wealth.

IslamQA fatwa 7461

What makes Muhammad such a tragic character is that he doesn’t see the obvious: That HE is the great sinner, the great villain, in his own story.

Or maybe he knows:

Narrated Abdah bin Abi Lubabah:

Ibn Yasaf told me that he asked Aishah, the wife of the Prophet ﷺ, “What supplication did the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say the most before he died?” She said, “The supplication that he said the most was: �?O Allah, I seek refuge with You from the evil of what I have done, and from the evil of what I have not done yet.’”

Sunan al-Nasa’i 5525. Classed sahih by al-Albani.

As an aside, a special thanks to the kind redditor—a regular in r/exmuslim—who let me know about the wonderful comic book seerah of Muhammad.

• HOTD #200: Sunan Ibn Majah 2850. Classed sahih by al-Arna’ut and hasan sahih by al-Albani. See also Sahih Muslim 1831a (4734).

HOTD 199: Muhammad says he's special because Allah lets him—and no other prophet—have war booty

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #199 Sahih Muslim 521a (1163) [1163] 3 - (521) It was narrated that Jâbir bin 'Abdullâh Al- Anşârî said: "The Messenger of Allâh said: 'I have been given five things that were not given to anyone before me: Every Prophet was sent only to his own people, but I have been sent to red and black; the spoils of war have been permitted to me and they were not permitted to anyone before me; the earth has been made pure, a means of purification and a place of prostration, so wherever a man is when the time for prayer is due, let him pray wherever he is; and I have been supported with fear for the distance of one month's journey ahead of me; and I have been granted intercession." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

It is so strange when a man boasts of what makes him uniquely evil.

This hadith was one of the early cracks in the wall for me. The hadith didn’t convey to me that Muhammad was unique—but that he was false.

A false prophet, but a true warlord.

• HOTD #199: Sahih Muslim 521a (1163)

 

HOTD 198: Muhammad forbids attacking non-Muslims…in the early morning

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #198 Sahih al-Bukhari 2943 (102) CHAPTER. The invitation of Prophet (Muhammad) to the people to embrace Islām, and to believe in his Prophethood and not to take each other as Lords instead of Allāh. Narrated Anas: Whenever Allah's Messenger attacked some people, he would never attack them till it was dawn. If he heard the Adhan [i.e., call for Salat (prayer)] he would delay the fight, and if he did not hear the Adhan, he would attack them immediately after dawn. We reached Khaibar at night. Classed sahih by al-Bukhari

 

One of the great euphemisms of Muhammad and his Companions is “inviting people to Islam.”

Typically, when you RSVP “no” to an invitation, you are not killed by the inviter.

In the early years of Muhammad’s attacks on non-Muslims, Muhammad would “invite” non-Muslims to Islam before attacking them. (This appears to have been abandoned in later years. See HOTD 291.)

Muhammad’s army would show up for the attack, and they would check if the tribe converted to Islam by listening for the adhan (Islamic call to prayer).

And if no adhan, Muhammad's army would attack the people.

This particular hadith makes reference to Muhammad’s attack on the Jews of Khaibar (HOTD 297), an example of blatant offensive jihad.

• HOTD #198: Sahih al-Bukhari 2943

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #197 Sahih Muslim 1731b (4522) 1731b. Narrated Buraidah al-Aslami: When the Messenger of Allah appointed commanders for an army or expedition, he would advise them personally to fear Allah, exalted and glorified is He, and to be good to those of the Muslims who were under their command. Then he said, "Fight in the Name of Allah, for the sake of Allah. Fight those who disbelieve in Allah. Fight but do not steal from the war booty, do not break your promises, do not mutilate (the dead enemy) and do not kill children. When you meet your enemy among the polytheists, offer them three options, and whichever one they choose, accept it from them and refrain from (fighting) them. Invite them to Islam and if they respond, then accept it from them and refrain from (fighting) them. ...If they refuse, then ask them to pay Jizyah. If they respond, then accept it from them and refrain from (fighting) them. If they refuse that, then seek the help of Allah and fight them. ..." Classed sahih by Imam Muslim

 

In this noble hadith, Muhammad establishes the three-choice doctrine for polytheists, which is later applied to People of the Book (Jews and Christians) in Quran 9:29.

Muhammad gives polytheists three choices in life: convert, die, or pay the jizya. The only purpose Allah gives for jizya is that non-Muslims be saghirun (literally: made small, i.e. humiliated, disgraced).

In today’s hadith, when Muhammad says “offer them three options” before fighting them, he is giving the polytheists four options by subdividing the convert option, 1) convert and move to Medina, 2) convert and stay put, 3) pay the jizya, 4) die.

As Muhammad says:

I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight the people until they say: “There is no god but Allah.” And whoever says it, then he will save his life and wealth from me except in cases where Islamic laws apply, and his reckoning will be with Allah. (Sahih al-Bukhari 1399)

So don’t blame Muhammad for this evil. He’s just following orders.

• HOTD #197: Sahih Muslim 1731b (4522)

 

HOTD 196: Muhammad says Allah will blind you if you look up during prayer. 1400 years later and it’s never happened

 

Ex-Muslim Hadith of the Day #196 Sahih al-Bukhari 750 Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, "What is the matter with people who lift their gaze to the sky while praying?" And he spoke sternly concerning that, until he said, "They should stop that, or else their eyesight will be snatched away." Classed sahih by al-Bukhari Commentary of Ibn Uthaymin "In other words, either they should stop or this punishment will be inflicted on them, which is that their eyesight will be snatched away, and will not