ؐMuhammad copied the whole divorce system [like only men having the right to divorce, 3 Talaqs, Halala (نكاح التحليل), Khul’ خلع, ‘Iddah (waiting period), Zihar (Divorce by Referring to Wife as Mother), Ila (الإيلاء)] from the pre-Islamic Arab culture of the time of ignorance.
There are 2 ways of giving a divorce in Islam:
- When 3 Talaqs are given in 3 separate sittings (i.e. only one Talaq in one sitting).
- When all 3 Talaqs are given in one sitting.
Three Talaqs in 3 separate Sittings:
This divorce procedure spans across three menstrual cycles. It's worth noting that during this three-month period, the wife is not permitted to leave the husband's residence:
Quran 65:1:
O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allah, your Lord. Do not turn them out of their [husbands'] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period]
Islamic preachers argue that a woman is required to remain within her husband's home for the duration of three menstrual cycles during the divorce process, allowing for a chance at reconciliation.
However, this logic is flawed, while:
- What if the husband is an abusive and malevolent individual? What if he subjects her to torment without any justification during this time? What if he inflicts severe beatings, causing her body to be covered in bruises? In such a case, why is the wife still mandated to endure three months with an abusive husband? (Please read our Khul' article, that a woman cannot get her freedom through Khul', even if the husband is abusive and tortures her. Only if he breaks any part of her body, in that case, she can get her freedom through the court)
- Only the woman is forced to sacrifice in the name of so-called “reconcilement” in this Islamic Talaq process, while the husband has to bring no sacrifice. He is free to have sex with all other wives and slave girls during this whole period of 3 months.
Furthermore:
- Is there any assurance that the discord between husband and wife will be resolved within the three-month Talaq process?
- Is it not plausible that it might take more than three months for both parties to reconsider and end the conflict? For instance, a man may come to his senses after a year, realizing that divorcing his wife was a mistake and that she was blameless. What avenues are available then to rectify this error? The answer is, there are NO options available; she cannot return to him without undergoing the shameful process of Halala ( نكاح التحليل), (where the woman is practically forced to let herself raped by 2nd husband, against her wishes). So, what is the "Divine Wisdom" in this ruling that confines the reconciliation period to a mere three menstrual cycles?
The truth is, there is absolutely no Divine Wisdom present in it, but Muhammad simply copied the old custom of his Arab culture. The pagan Arabs of the time of Jahiliyyah (Ignorance) practised the system of 3 Talaqs and Halala, and thus Muhammad also followed them. In simple words, the Wisdom of Allah is EQUAL to the Wisdom of the pagans of the time of Jahiliyyah in this case of the 3 Talaqs system and Halala.
Furthermore:
- Islam mandates the wife to remain within her husband's home throughout the Talaq process. However, it's been observed that during disputes, living separately for a period could be beneficial.
- This separation offers both parties a chance to reflect on their mistakes, leading to better insights and understanding. When the wife experiences the difficulties of living with her parents or siblings, she quickly appreciates the value of her husband's home. Likewise, when the husband shoulders all responsibilities in the household and cares for the children on his own, he gains a deeper understanding of his errors.
- Yet, Islam denies them this option by instructing the woman not to leave her husband's residence even in the face of significant conflicts.
Declaring three divorces in a single instance is not only illogical but also unfair to women
Islam advocates argue that Islam permits the issuance of three divorces in one sitting, relieving women from undergoing a three-month-long divorce procedure. However, the problems are:
- This privilege is exclusively granted to men; a stark double standard. Are women really incapable of making decisions about their own lives, and they are mere 'emotionally driven beings' unable to navigate their own destiny?
- Additionally, these divorces remain valid even if the wife is entirely blameless, with the husband pronouncing the triple divorce in a fit of ANGER. This disproves the notion that only women are prone to emotional instability; men, too, can succumb to extreme emotional turbulence, particularly in states of anger, resulting in impulsive and irrational actions, even to the extent of harming others.
- One must question the rationale behind granting emotionally volatile men the authority to instantly divorce their wives by uttering 'Talaq' (divorce) thrice in a matter of seconds. What manner of Divine Wisdom is at play here?
- Such a provision poses significant repercussions for the innocent wife, often leading to the dismantling of her entire family unit, and in the worst cases, even separation from her children.
- Strikingly, despite her innocence, she alone bears the burden of the humiliating 'Halala' process, should she wish to reunite with her family (husband and children). Is this truly an equitable representation of justice for women according to Islamic principles?
Blackmailing Women in the name of ‘Reconcilement & Settlement’ through the THREAT of Divorce
While Islam gives only men the full right to divorce their wives (even without giving any reason), thus it works as a weapon in the hands of an abusive husband, to blackmail her unjustly, and to usurp her rights by compelling her to give up her rights.
And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them (i.e. woman agrees upon leaving some of her rights) … And you will never be able to do Justice (Arabic: تَعْدِلُوْا) between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].
Here occurs a contradiction in Islamic Sharia, while earlier at the time of allowing 4 wives, the writer of the Quran stipulated the condition of "Justice (Adl عدل)":
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal JUSTLY (Arabic: تَعْدِلُوا۟) with them, then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
This exposes a paradox within Islamic Sharia: while the Quran earlier emphasized the principle of "justice" (Adl عدل) when discussing polygamy (Quran 4:3), it later permits husbands to employ the threat of divorce, along with contempt and avoidance, as a means to manipulate their wives into conceding their rights under the guise of a settlement. This effectively sets aside the imperative of justice, with settlements consistently favoring husbands who retain control over the divorce process.
Notably, even the founder of Islam, Muhammad, resorted to such tactics. For instance, he employed the threat of Talaq against his wife Sawdah (without giving any reason), who happened to be older than his other young wives. The issue was, Muhammad had to spend one night with all his wives justly. But Muhammad didn't want to waste his time and a night with old Sawda in the presence of other younger and beautiful wives.
Overwhelmed with emotion, Sawdah told Muhammad that she was willing to step aside for 'Aisha in the rotation of wives. She implored Muhammad not to render her homeless through divorce during her advanced age. Despite Sawdah's loyal service and blameless conduct, she found herself compelled to sacrifice her rights in the name of a dubious 'settlement'.
In essence, the current application of the divorce process exploits women, coercing them into relinquishing their rightful claims through manipulative settlement tactics, often depriving them of justice and dignity.
BBC Report: Many women, who are orally divorced 3 times in one sitting in Pakistan, finding difficult to prove it
Link.
These poor women are now trying to seek justice from the courts for several years, but still getting no success. These women are suffering, while they firmly believe that they have been indeed divorced according to the law of Allah (i.e. their husbands said 3 times Talaq in anger, but later they denied doing it).
Thus, these poor women believe they should not stay under one roof with their husbands, as it will only be Zina.
Hassan Radwan