Hijab: Indoctrination, Control, Sexual Politics, and the Illusion of Choice

Based on the lived experiences and testimonies of ex-Muslim women, as shared on our ex-Muslim subreddit

Islam claims to have saved newborn baby girls from being buried alive in pre-Islamic Arabia. Yet today, millions of Muslim women find themselves metaphorically buried alive, suffocating within the confines of strict domestic roles and the prison of mandatory veiling imposed by Islamic law.

The Illusion of Choice

1. Religious and cultural indoctrination creates deep-seated fear of disappointing family and deity. This fear becomes the primary motivator for compliance, not genuine choice.

2. Many hijabi women claim pride in their choice to veil, but this reflects a "delusion of freedom" and the result of systematic conditioning rather than autonomous decision-making.

3. The psychology of hijabi Muslim women often mirrors Stockholm syndrome, where the victim (Muslim women) develops loyalty to the captor (Islamic patriarchal system and Muhammad's teachings).

4. The hijab functions like a cult mechanism: those who refuse it, wear it improperly, or remove it face severe social consequences, including ostracism, violence, and even death. Leaving becomes nearly impossible as the community makes life unbearable for those who dare to uncover.

5. The hijab is never truly a choice. Women are forced, coerced, shamed, manipulated, and pressured into wearing it through multiple means, like threats of divine punishment, family honour, social standing, and community acceptance.

6. Young girls are made to wear hijab before puberty to "normalize" it, eliminating any possibility of genuine choice when they reach maturity.

7. The threat extends beyond this life and young girls are taught they will face eternal punishment in hellfire for not covering, creating inescapable psychological pressure.

Historical Origins: Separating Free Women from Slaves

8. The hijab was fundamentally designed as a patriarchal control mechanism to regulate women's bodies and sexuality.

9. Historically, hijab served as a class marker to distinguish free women from slave women, making it easier to identify who could be sexually harassed with impunity. Significantly, no such distinction was required between free men and slave men.

10. Islamic law explicitly prohibited slave women from wearing hijab. When they attempted to cover themselves, they were punished. Authentic Islamic traditions records Umar ibn al-Khattab (the second caliph) whipping slave women for daring to wear a head covering, beating them with a stick, removing their Hijab, and telling them not to resemble free Muslim women by wearing the Hijab. 

11. Even worse, slave women were forced to keep their breasts exposed in public, making them vulnerable to being groped and sexually harassed by free Muslim men. This policy was officially sanctioned by Islamic law. Yes, there were thousands of slave women present in Medina, in front of Muhammad, with exposed breasts. It is that part of Islamic Sharia and Islamic history, which Muslim scholars hid very successfully from masses. It is unfortunate that it hid the real oppression which slave women had to endure. 

12. The message of Islam was clear that hijab protected free women's honour while simultaneously marking slave women as sexually available and unworthy of protection.

13. This same mechanism operates today where hijab continues to create a hierarchy of women. In Muslim-majority societies, non-hijabi women face treatment similar to how slave women were treated - as less deserving of respect and protection, and as legitimate targets for harassment.

Creating a Madonna-Whore Complex

14. Hijab enforces a rigid binary classification of women: the "pious, covered woman" versus the "immoral, uncovered whore." No middle ground exists in this worldview of believing religious Muslims.

15. Men are conditioned to view hijabi women as asexual, angelic beings rather than complete human persons, while simultaneously viewing non-hijabi women as mere sexual objects devoid of humanity or dignity.

16. This dehumanizes both groups, where hijabi women lose their humanity by being placed on an unrealistic pedestal, while non-hijabi women are stripped of their humanity entirely.

17. Non-hijabi women are routinely described as "half-naked," "naked sluts," or attention-seeking women who desire male validation. Their refusal to cover is interpreted as sexual availability.

18. The association between hijab and virtue means only covered women are considered "marriage material." Muslim men frequently use non-hijabi and non-Muslim women for temporary sexual relationships while reserving marriage for hijabi women.

Victim-Blaming and Legitimizing Male Violence

19. Hijab culture promotes systematic victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and violence against women who refuse to comply with covering requirements.

20. It creates a framework where men are absolved of responsibility for their actions, while women bear complete blame for "provoking" male behaviour. The burden of controlling male sexuality is placed entirely on women's shoulders.

21. The underlying message is explicit that sexual harassment and rape are justifiable if a woman is not "properly dressed." This doesn't just encourage sexual violence, but it actively legitimizes it.

22. Statistical evidence contradicts the claim that hijab reduces harassment or sexual assault. Countries with strict veiling requirements often have high rates of sexual harassment.

23. Women who reject hijab face severe consequences ranging from social ostracism and economic punishment to physical violence, imprisonment, forced veiling, and honour killing.

The Paradox: Hijab Sexualizes Rather Than Desexualizes

24. Despite claims that hijab makes women "less attractive" and helps men see them as humans rather than sexual objects, it achieves the opposite. By covering women's bodies, hijab transforms the female form into something forbidden, shameful, and inherently sexual.

25. Hijab culture reduces women to their appearance while claiming to do the opposite. It teaches that a woman's primary value lies in her level of covering, not her character, intelligence, or contributions.

26. This mindset produces absurd analogies comparing women to "wrapped candy," "pearls," or "diamonds" that must be hidden, thus reducing women to objects of possession rather than autonomous human beings.

27. The emphasis on female covering while male modesty requirements remain minimal or unenforced reveals the double standard: women's bodies are treated as inherently problematic and shameful.

Manufacturing Sexual Frustration and Unhealthy Gender Relations

28. Hijab culture creates artificial and extreme sexual frustration in society. When women's bodies are completely hidden, men develop unhealthy obsessions over minor details, like an exposed ankle, a strand of hair, or the outline of a figure becomes intensely sexualized.

29. This "forbidden fruit" mentality intensifies rather than reduces sexual obsession. In societies where women's bodies are normalized, they cease to be objects of such intense fetishization.

30. Gender segregation and hijab requirements prevent natural, healthy interactions between men and women. Men never learn to view women as complete human beings with thoughts, feelings, and dignity deserving of respect.

31. The system is contradictory. If hijab truly shields women from male attention, why do hijabi women wear makeup, style their hijabs fashionably, or dress attractively? These behaviours contradict the stated purpose of hijab.

32. Hijab is fundamentally unnatural. If modesty covering were natural or instinctive to women, it would not require enforcement, threats, childhood conditioning, or social pressure. Women would voluntarily cover without being taught or forced.

Suppressing and Controlling Female Sexuality

33. Hijab ideology falsely assumes women are asexual beings with no sexual desires of their own. In reality, women experience sexual attraction and desire just as men do, but female sexuality has been systematically demonized and suppressed.

34. Married Muslim women cannot freely express their sexual needs or desires without risking their husband's suspicion ("Where did you learn that from?"), potentially leading to accusations of infidelity.

35. The ideal Muslim wife is expected to be sexually available and desirable to her husband while simultaneously having no sexual desires or needs of her own, which is an impossible and dehumanizing standard.

36. Islamic culture's obsession with female virginity leads to degrading and medically unnecessary "virginity tests," treating women's bodies as property to be inspected and validated.

Physical Health Consequences

37. Despite being presented as beneficial or protective, hijab has caused physical harm to women for 1,400 years. Common health problems include hair loss, baldness, receding hairlines, scalp infections, fungal growth, persistent odour, itching, candida overgrowth, chronic neck and head pain, and severe vitamin D deficiency.

38. Hijab is particularly unsuitable for certain hair types. African and other textured hair types require specific care that hijab makes difficult or impossible, as many ex-Muslim women from these communities have testified.

39. Hijab and full-body covering restrict physical movement and athletic participation. Muslim women athletes who participate in sports despite wearing hijab are often going against religious authorities who declare sports "unladylike" and immodest for women.

40. Women with curvy body types face additional shaming even while wearing hijab. They are told to hide their natural shape with oversized, shapeless clothing, being shamed for biological features beyond their control.

Social and Economic Limitations

41. Hijab and the broader modesty culture significantly impede women's educational opportunities and their ability to participate as productive members of society. Many capable women and girls remain confined to domestic spaces, unable to contribute their talents and skills.

42. Hijab severely restricts personal expression, creativity, fashion choices, and how women can present themselves to the world. This limitation of self-expression affects psychological well-being and personal development.

43. In non-Muslim countries, visible Muslim women face increased risk of hate crimes and discrimination. This is particularly concerning given that women are generally physically more vulnerable than men.

44. Most fundamentally, mandatory hijab violates women's basic human right to choose their own clothing and control their own bodies.

The Impossible Standard: "Never Modest Enough"

45. Hijab requirements operate on a slippery slope where the standard constantly shifts. Even "properly covered" hijabi women are often condemned as immodest if they don't also wear niqab (face veil) or burqa (full-body covering).

46. The obsession with female modesty reaches absurd and dangerous extremes. Women are taught to prioritize covering even in life-threatening emergencies, like during fires, earthquakes, bombings, or other disasters.

47. Palestinian Muslim women have reported wearing hijab while sleeping in case they are killed by airstrikes, ensuring their bodies remain covered even in death.

48. In 2002, fifteen schoolgirls died in a fire in Mecca, Saudi Arabia, because religious police prevented them from escaping without their headscarves and abayas, and stopped male rescuers from entering to save them. Modesty was deemed more important than their lives.

Long-Term Psychological Damage

49. The psychological impact of hijab extends far beyond the practice itself. Even after leaving Islam, many ex-Muslim women struggle to remove hijab due to deep conditioning that makes them feel "naked" or exposed without it.

50. This psychological damage persists alongside physical problems like severe vitamin D deficiency, hair loss, and other health issues developed during years of covering.

51. Women who wear hijab while living in free societies often experience painful cognitive dissonance and resentment when seeing women their age who were born into freedom and never had to struggle with these restrictions.

Dividing Women and Destroying Solidarity

52. Rather than uniting women, hijab creates artificial divisions and hierarchies among them, establishing false criteria for comparing and judging women against each other.

53. Highly religious Muslim women frequently shame, condemn, and harass other women for insufficient modesty, perpetuating the oppressive system.

54. Women who don't wear hijab are accused of being "slaves to Western media" or "slaves to fashion," while hijabi women who claim to be making a free choice ignore their own conditioning and indoctrination.

Silencing Legitimate Criticism

55. Any substantive criticism of hijab is immediately dismissed through ad hominem attacks. Critics are labelled as "white feminists," accused of wanting women to be "naked," or called "perverted" for questioning the practice.

56. Women who remove hijab face intense scrutiny of their appearance. They are told they must be extraordinarily beautiful for their decision to remove hijab to be "valid," as exemplified by the vicious attacks on ex-Muslim influencer @earthtokhadija from Muslim commenters.

57. The very existence of the "hijab debate" reveals the coercion inherent in the practice. Truly free choices don't require this level of defence, explanation, or enforcement.

Controlling Marriage and Killing Natural Romantic Feelings

58. Hijab and gender segregation serve as tools to suppress girls' natural romantic feelings and prevent them from falling in love with boys of their own age group. By keeping girls isolated and covered, fathers maintain complete control over their daughters' marriage choices, ensuring they can only marry men the father selects and approves.
59. This control becomes particularly sinister in cases of child marriage. When a father marries his six-year-old daughter to a fifty-year-old man (as Muhammad did with Aisha), the hijab and modesty system ensures that even after reaching adulthood, she cannot rebel against this arrangement or develop feelings for someone her own age. Her natural romantic inclinations have been systematically suppressed and redirected toward obedience to her father's choice.
60. The system treats women's natural romantic feelings and mate preferences as dangerous threats that must be controlled. A woman's desire to choose her own partner based on mutual attraction and compatibility is viewed as rebellion against family and religion, rather than a basic human right.

From Confinement of Hijab to House Arrest

61. Even confinement of a women in the Hijab is not enough, and the actual demand of Islamic modesty is confinement of a woman in 4 walls of the home. Although she is allowed to go out of the house if absolutely necessary, but the real aim to make her become completely invisible from eyes of all men. By minimizing her presence and prohibiting free interaction with men, this system effectively transitions from a 'mobile prison' of fabric to a permanent state of domestic house arrest.

A Call to Muslim Women

Dear Muslim Women,

We invite you to reflect on a deeply uncomfortable historical reality that for centuries, Islamic law prohibited enslaved women from wearing hijab and forced them to appear uncovered in public, with their chests exposed. This was not an accident of culture, nor a marginal practice. It was a systematic policy embedded in classical Islamic jurisprudence to mark enslaved women as sexually available and socially inferior.

When enslaved women attempted to cover themselves with dignity, they were punished. Historical reports record that Umar ibn al-Khattab, the second Caliph, enforced this distinction harshly, beating slave women for daring to resemble free women in dress. At the same time, free women were required to veil, creating a visible hierarchy of honor and worth based not on morality or piety, but on legal and social status.

We ask you to consider the millions of women across Islamic history who lived and died under this system, humiliated and exposed by law, denied the basic dignity of bodily autonomy. Their suffering is rarely acknowledged in contemporary discussions of hijab, yet the symbol built upon that hierarchy continues to be defended as sacred and divinely mandated.

If you personally choose to cover your hair or body for your own reasons, whether for comfort, privacy, cultural identity, or personal preference, that is your right, and we fully respect your autonomy. This critique does not deny women's agency or right to choose their clothing.

However, we urge a critical distinction between personal clothing choices and presenting the Islamic hijab as a divine moral mandate or religious obligation. To present hijab as a command from God is to inherit and legitimize a system that historically protected only certain women while deliberately excluding others from dignity, respect, and protection.

The hijab was never about safeguarding all women equally. It was about class distinction, patriarchal control, and regulating sexual access. That legacy deserves honest confrontation, not silence or romanticization.

We hope you will stand with us in acknowledging this historical injustice, in rejecting its normalization, and in affirming the equal humanity and dignity of all women, without hierarchy, without condition, without the need for any woman to "earn" her right to respect through her clothing choices.

With respect and solidarity.