Is a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship EVIL and IMMORAL?

Muslim preachers (both Shia and Sunni) constantly do propaganda that a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is nothing else than so-called FORNICATION, and it is EVIL and Immodesty.  

But we deny all these charges. The truth is, a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is neither evil nor immodesty. 

Let us show them the mirror first. 

Question from Shia Muslims: What is the difference between a Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship and Shia Mutah?

Shia Mutah requires no “witness”. 

If a girl and a boy both give their consent, then they could do Mutah on their own, without any witness, in complete secrecy. 

This consent is common in both Shia Mutah and the Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship. 

Therefore, one becomes confused, how then Mutah becomes a BLESSING, while Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship becomes Obscenity and Immorality?

When this question is asked from Shia Muslims, then they present the following 2 differences:

1. There is ‘Iddah (i.e. waiting period) in Mutah, while Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship has no waiting period.
2. And if a child is born, then the Father is responsible for all the expenses of the child in Mutah.

Answer:

There is no waiting period for a minor girl in Shia Islam. She does not need any waiting period in order to enter into the next Mutah relationship and could be immediately handed over to another man by her guardian in Mutah. Similarly, an old woman also does not need any waiting period for the next Mutah in Shia Islam.

Shia scholars explain that a minor girl or an old woman doesn’t need the waiting period while this waiting period is only meant to determine the parentage of the child, just like in Sunni Islam the ‘iddah (waiting period) of prisoner or slave woman is to become free of first menstruation blood in three to seven days, as it happened in case of Saffiyyah that she became free of her menstruation blood the day that Muslims killed his father, brother and husband, and Muhammad than had sex with her the same night. 

Therefore, if according to the Shia Ulama, the waiting period was only meant for the determination of the parentage of the child, then we don’t have to observe this waiting period in our modern times as a quick medical test is enough to determine if a woman is pregnant or not, or who is the father of the child (by using DNA Test). 

Thus, why then do Shia Muslims still call the Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship to be immoral, even if the issue of the parentage of the child has also been solved? 

And the 2nd Shia argument is that the father takes responsibility for the child in Mutah and he bears the expenses of the child. 

Then we would say that Shia Muslims perhaps don’t know that in Western Countries, COURTS will then compel the father to bear the expenses of the child according to his financial strength. That child also has a right to the property of the father and he is not different from the other children who are born in the so-called proper Church Marriage. 

And if fathers want to take part in the upbringing of such a child along with the mother, then courts also give this right to the father that the child could visit him at the weekends and in the holidays. And the father can even take full custody of a child if the mother is not suitable for the upbringing of the child. 

While Shia Mutah is doing injustice against the mother in this case. If a woman becomes pregnant in Shia Mutah, and a child is born, then the father will get that child, while the mother will totally lose her baby.  Now tell us if this is an injustice towards the mother or not. 

A sexual relationship with a slave woman (i.e. her RAPE) in Sunni Islam is a crime against humanity

And Sunni Muslims are strange when they blame Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationships as being immorality, while:

• In Sunni Islam, a slave woman is raped by many men in a TEMPORARY sexual relationship in Sunni Islam, then it is not obscenity and immorality for them.
• Sunni Islam also doesn’t deem it to be immorality that Sunni Islam compels the slave-women to move in public with naked breasts.
• Sunni Islam also doesn’t deem it to be immorality when Male-Customers are allowed by Sunni Islam to touch and check all the naked body parts of the slave women (except for the vagina), just like cattle are checked with hands before they are bought.
• In Sunni Islam, the ‘iddah (waiting period) of a prisoner/slave woman (or of that free Muslim woman who has accepted Islam, has left her previous husband and has come to an Islamic State) is only 3 (to 7 days) of becoming free of her first menstruation blood. All this waiting period was only meant to determine the parentage of the child, which is no longer needed in the present modern era due to DNA tests (i.e. if Islamic Slavery have existed today, then no waiting period would have been needed for slave women. It would have become totally Halal Allah today to Gang Rape them).
• And Sunni Islam doesn’t deem it to be immorality when it allows the owners to deny the parentage of their own child from the slave-woman, and thus make their own sons/daughters their slaves and later sell them in the slave markets.

Sunan Ibn Majah (link):

وَلَا يَلْحَقُ إِذَا کَانَ أَبُوهُ الَّذِي يُدْعَی لَهُ أَنْکَرَهُ

… a child from a slave woman cannot be named after his father if the man whom he claimed as his father did not acknowledge him (and he becomes a bastard child).
Imam Albani declared this Hadith as Fair (Hasan). Link.
This same tradition has also been narrated by Amr bin Shoaib in Sunnan Abdu Dawud, and has again been graded as Hasan (link).

Imam Muhammad bin Ahmad Sarkhasi (d. 483 H) wrote in his book Al-Mabsut, Volume 2 page 152 (link):

وولد أم الولد ثابت من المولى ما لم ينفه لأنها فراش له وقال عليه الصلاة والسلام الولد للفراش ولكن ينتفي عنه بمجرد النفي عندنا

“The son of a slave woman is attributed to the owner as long as he didn’t deny it, because she had been on a bed with him, He (i.e. prophet Muhammad) said that the son belongs to the bed, but he (the child) will be not be attributed to him if he just denied him according to us.”

And Imam Ibn Hamam writes in his book Fath al-Qadir (link):

أم الولد بسبب أن ولدها ، وإن ثبت نسبه بلا دعوة ينتفي نسبه بمجرد نفيه ، بخلاف المنكوحة لا ينتفي نسب ولدها إلا باللعان

“The slave woman’s son, even if his paternity is proven without a claim (from the father), has his parentage disassociated just by denial, unlike the wife in a Nikah whose son’s parentage cannot be dissociated except through “le’an.”

And it is written in Fatawa Alamgiri (link):

If the slave girl, who bears the child of the owner, is a Magian (i.e. Zoroastrian) or an apostate, then it is not obligatory upon the owner to own that child (and a child becomes a bastard in this case). 

Therefore, it is a surprise that even after such a shameless mishandling of the slave woman and her child, still Sunni Muslims dare to say that the western concept of a Girlfriend/Boyfriend relationship is obscenity and immorality. 

Please read all these (and more) evils of Sunni Islam here: Part 1: Crimes of Islamic Slavery against Humanity

(Note: Shia Islam is also exactly the same as Sunni Islam when it comes to the rape of slave girls. Please read Rape of slave women in Shia Islam).

Despite all these great evils in Sunni/Shia Islam, still they dare to blame the western girlfriend/boyfriend relationship to be immodesty. They should look in the mirror first.