‘Iddah (waiting period) is illogical & injustice against women

Summary:

• Muhammad adopted the practice of 'Iddah from the pre-Islamic era.
• He imposed unnecessary restrictions on women, unrelated to determining the parentage of the child.
• Muhammad made scientific errors while enforcing 'Iddah rulings.

Muslims argue that Allah granted women their rights with justice, while the secular Western world made a mistake by providing women with "equal" rights to men, oppressing them in the process. Let's examine the validity of this claim and assess whether Islam truly upholds justice for women.

Table of Contents:

Different lengths for Waiting Periods for different women:

The determination of pregnancy in Islam is based on a single menstrual cycle, which dictates different waiting periods for women in various situations:

1. Captive Women: A female captive’s waiting period is only until she experiences her first menstrual cycle after capture. For example, Safiyyah became free from her menstrual cycle on the same day that Muhammad’s forces defeated her tribe. Her husband was killed that same day, and Muhammad consummated the marriage with her that night, as the presence of menstrual blood indicated she was not pregnant from her previous husband.

2. Slave Women: Similarly, for female slaves, the waiting period is just until they complete one menstrual cycle. This means if a master has intercourse with his slave and later sells her, the new owner can immediately have intercourse with her after her next period, which typically occurs within 3 to 7 days.

3. Free Muslim Women: In contrast, a divorced free woman must observe a waiting period of three menstrual cycles, but this is not to confirm pregnancy. Instead, it is intended to allow time for reconciliation with her husband.

4. Widows: The waiting period for a widow is four months and ten days, a practice that predates Islam and was common in pre-Islamic Arabia (Jahiliyyah). Muhammad incorporated this custom into Islamic law, not to confirm pregnancy, but rather to enforce a period of mourning, regardless of the widow’s personal wishes.

5. Pregnant Women: A pregnant woman’s waiting period lasts until she gives birth. This rule was not originally intended to establish paternity but was instead a continuation of a pre-Islamic Arabian belief that a new husband's semen could affect the developing fetus. Based on this scientific mistake, Islam prohibited pregnant women from remarrying until after childbirth, restricting their ability to move on with their lives.

6. Ila (الإيلاء): This is another form of divorce in Islam. In this case, a man refrains from physical contact with his wife for 4 months, following which the divorce takes place. Nevertheless, the wife must still observe the waiting period of 3 menstrual cycles, resulting in about 7 months of practically solitary confinement-like situation.

These waiting periods differ for each category of women, and the length of time they have to wait and stay without the companionship of men varies accordingly.

Muhammad copied this illogical practice of ‘Iddah from the pre-Islamic period of so-called Ignorance

Muhammad copied this ‘Iddah from the culture of people of the Pre-Islamic period of ignorance.

Look at Muhammad's reasoning behind imposing all these restrictive rules on women in the name of ʿIddah. He justified these burdens by telling women not to complain about Islamic ʿIddah, claiming that in pre-Islamic times, they had to observe even longer waiting periods. Instead of removing these hardships, he simply modified them while keeping the oppression intact.

Sahih Bukhari, Book of Divorce:

Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said, "No." Then Allah's Messenger added, "It is just a matter of four months and ten days. In the Pre-Islamic Period of ignorance, a widow among you should throw a globe of dung when one year has elapsed (i.e. she had to stay in ‘Iddah for the whole one year)."

Muslim Excuse: Longer ‘Iddah of 3 periods (or more) is necessary in order to ensure that the ‘paternity’ of the child is secure

Islamic apologists argue that ʿIddah is necessary to ensure the paternity of a child is secure. However, this reasoning is flawed, as confirming pregnancy requires only a single menstrual cycle. Once a woman becomes free of her first menstrual blood, it is clear whether she is pregnant or not.

Islam itself permits a much shorter ʿIddah for certain categories of women, requiring only one menstrual cycle (around 3 to 7 days). This applies to captive women, slave women, and free Muslim women who migrate from non-Muslim lands into an Islamic state. After this short waiting period, Muslim men are allowed to have sexual relations with them.

A clear example of this is Muhammad's marriage to Safiyyah. On the same day her husband and brother were killed, she became free of her menstrual blood, and Muhammad had sexual relations with her that very night (Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 4211).

This inconsistency exposes the weak justification behind forcing free Muslim women to observe a longer ʿIddah of three menstrual cycles. It becomes clear that this rule is not about determining pregnancy but rather about imposing unnecessary restrictions that make women’s lives more difficult, preventing them from remarrying and controlling their choices.

Illogical and Unnecessary Restrictions upon Women during 'Iddah:

During 'Iddah, women are not only subjected to extended waiting periods but also burdened with additional unnecessary and illogical restrictions imposed by Allah/Muhammad, further complicating their lives and adding to their hardships.

First Restriction: A woman has to undergo the 'Iddah even if she receives no maintenance money from her husband

As a result:

• A woman is obligated to undergo the 'Iddah period, which lasts for 4 months and 10 days (or up to 9 months in case of pregnancy). However, she has no entitlement to receive financial support from her husband's estate during this lengthy period of time.
• Even if the husband was poor and left no money, the wife is still required to observe the waiting period. This places a significant financial burden on women, especially in Islamic countries where they often lack a source of income. Moreover, Islam restricts their ability to seek employment outside the home during this waiting period, making it even more challenging for them to sustain themselves financially. This situation is truly unfortunate.

Second Restriction: She is obligated to stay exclusively in the house of her deceased husband during the 'Iddah period

As per Islamic Sharia'h, when a husband passes away:

• A woman is required to spend the entire duration of 'Iddah solely in the house of her late husband.
• She is not permitted to stay at any other location, such as her parents' home or that of any other family members (see link1 and link 2).

However, the problem lies in:

• What relevance does the location of her 'Iddah have with the paternity of her child?
• Why is she not allowed to spend this waiting period in the comfort of her parent's house, where she is surrounded by people who love and care for her? Such a supportive environment could greatly assist her in coping with the sorrow of her husband's demise.

Third Restriction: She must remain in the husband's house, regardless of ownership of the house or lack of maintenance funds left by the husband

Furay'ah said that she came to the Messenger of Allah and asked him whether she could return to her people, Banu Khidrah, for her husband went out seeking his slaves who ran away. When they met him at al-Qudum, they murdered him.

So I asked the Messenger of Allah: "Should I return to my people, for he did not leave any dwelling house of his own and maintenance for me?

She said: The Messenger of Allah replied: Yes. She said: I came out, and when I was in the apartment or in the mosque, he called for me, or he commanded (someone to call me) and, therefore, I was called.

He said: what did you say? So I repeated my story which I had already mentioned about my husband.

Thereupon he said: Stay in your house till the term (of four months and 10 days) lapses.

She said: So I passed my waiting period in it (her house) for four months and ten days. When Uthman ibn Affan became a caliph, he sent for me and asked me about that; so I informed him, and he followed it and decided cases accordingly.

Fourth Restriction: She is prohibited from leaving the house, even for daily walks, visiting relatives, or attending social gatherings

Question: Is a woman allowed to visit family members like her parents or sisters if she is observing iddat and use the excuse that she will be with her family so she doesn’t  see the problem?
Answer: A woman who has been divorced is not allowed to leave the confines of her home during the iddat for whatever reason, be it to visit friends or relatives or to attend the funeral of even her parents.

She could also not go outside for daily walks, as they are not a necessity (Fatwa 1, Fatwa 2).

As a result, a woman observing 'Iddah—whether due to divorce or widowhood—is strictly forbidden from leaving her home for any reason. This includes visiting friends or relatives, attending funerals, or even stepping out for a simple walk, as such activities are deemed unnecessary during this period.

However, like all human beings, women have social and emotional needs. They benefit from leisure activities such as visiting parks, taking walks, shopping, dining out, attending social gatherings, and spending time with family and loved ones. Imposing such rigid restrictions contradicts basic human nature and raises serious concerns about gender justice. These harsh limitations effectively isolate women, depriving them of normal social interactions and negatively impacting their mental and emotional well-being.

Fifth Restriction: She is prohibited from using collyrium/kohl in her eyes, even for medicinal purposes, while it makes her look beautiful

Although a woman is allowed to take medical care during ‘Iddah, still she should not use collyrium/kohl as a cure even for any eye disease, while it beautifies her.

Um Salama said that a woman came to Allah's Messenger and said, "O Allah's Messenger ! The husband of my daughter has died and she is suffering from an eye disease. Can she apply  collyrium/kohl to her eye?" Allah's Messenger replied, "No," twice or thrice. (Every time she repeated her question) he said, "No."

Sixth Restriction: Women are not allowed to use good clothes, jewellery, perfume, or Henna and to comb their hair or oil them

During the 'Iddah period, women are prohibited from wearing good clothes, jewellery, using perfume, applying Henna, combing their hair, and using oil or even washing their faces with aloe. These restrictions are in place even when the woman is confined to her home and not coming into contact with any non-Mahram men.

Umm Salama said: God’s Messenger came to visit me when Abu Salama died, and I had put the juice of aloes on myself. He asked me what it was, and I told him it was only the juice of aloes and contained no perfume, so he said, “It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in the daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye.” I asked God’s Messenger what I should use when combing myself, and he told me to use lote-tree leaves and smear my head copiously with them. Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani declared this Hadith to be FAIR (حسن).

According to Islamic apologists, the rationale behind these restrictions is to maintain modesty and prevent any potential temptation or seduction during this so-called vulnerable period. However, the questions are:

• A woman is not coming into any kind of contact with any man during the 'iddah, as she is not allowed to let any non-Mahram man enter her house, and she is not allowed to leave the house.
• So, what is wrong if she wears good clothes, and jewellery, uses perfume and uses henna and combs her hair with oil, and washes her face with aloe in the house, where she is alone, or at maximum with other women?
• Who are these people that she’s gonna “seduce” to marry her? The walls?

Normal Muslim women and virgin girls are allowed to go outside and participate in various activities without falling into sin. So, why would a divorced or widowed woman be any different in that they will commit a sin by doing these things?

Similarly, if other non-married Muslim women (or girl) can use Kohl, perfume, jewellery, and wear good clothes without indulging in sin, there is no reason to believe that a divorced/widowed woman would behave differently.

Islamic Excuse for 4 months long 'waiting period' in the case of a Widow

Islam advocates claim that the reason for the 4 months and 10 days long 'iddah of a widow is to 'Mourn' the death of the husband (link).

But the questions are:

• Why is there no obligation for any “mourning” (even for a single second) upon a man if his wife dies? He can marry another woman the same night. He can also have intimate relations with his other wives and slave girls the same night too.
• Only a woman is compelled to ‘mourn’ the death of her husband. Only she is deprived of her natural need for love and intimacy in the name of ‘mourning,’ and only she has to undergo the strict restrictions of 'Iddah.

Moreover, a widow also has to observe 'Iddah, even if ^(Link):

• She has never seen his husband after the marriage.
• Or even if the marriage has not been consummated.
• Or even if she is a minor child.

Why should she mourn his death if she has no emotional connection and love for him in her heart? What if the deceased husband was abusive, and the widow harbors feelings of hatred towards him? In such cases, imposing a long waiting period with numerous restrictions is cruel and unnecessary.

Instead, Islam could have allowed widows to make their own decisions about mourning, the duration of 'iddah, and when they are ready for a new relationship. They should have the autonomy to choose where to stay and seek support from their families if needed. Women are capable of making their own choices regarding their personal lives and emotions.

Islamic Excuse for long 'waiting period' in the case of a pregnant woman

According to the Quran, the waiting period for a pregnant woman is until the birth of a child (Quran 65:4).

Prophet Muhammad further explained the scientific logic behind this Quranic order, stating:

Sunan Abu Dawud 2158:

The Messenger of Allah said: It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the last day to water what another has sown with his water (meaning intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from her previous husband).

This practice by Muhammad/Allah reflects a scientific misunderstanding, as modern science has clarified that if a woman is already pregnant, another man's sperm will not affect the fetus. This concept was based on the beliefs of the times of ignorance, and Muhammad adopted it from them, leading to a scientific mistake.

Moreover, the pregnant woman is left to bear the consequences of this practice unilaterally. After the death of her husband, she becomes financially vulnerable, especially if the deceased husband left no money for her and the baby. It is nearly impossible for her to work outside while carrying the baby in her belly. Additionally, during pregnancy, a woman is emotionally sensitive and in need of support, yet she is compelled to stay at her deceased husband's house and endure all these difficulties alone until the birth of the baby.

Furthermore, a pregnant woman should not have to go through the 'Iddah period at all, as the parentage of the child is already known due to her pregnancy. If a husband can divorce a pregnant woman and engage in relationships with other women, it is unfair to deprive the pregnant woman of emotional support, love, attention, and care from a new partner during this challenging time when she needs it the most.

In response to the claims of Islamic apologists, it is important to note that any potential effects on the fetus would be positive. Sex with a man makes the mother happy, resulting in a positive impact on the fetus. There is no logical reason for Allah/Muhammad to oppose such positive effects on the mother and fetus.

Islamic reasons for the 'waiting period' in the case of Talaq

The entire divorce process in Islam is lengthy, lasting about six menstrual cycles—a combination of the three-month divorce process (Talaq) and the three-month waiting period ('Iddah).

1. The Three-Month Divorce Process (Talaq):

   • When a Muslim husband initiates divorce, the woman is required to stay in the husband's house for three menstrual cycles while the divorce is finalized.
   • During this time, the husband and wife must avoid any physical intimacy, essentially placing the woman in a form of 'solitary confinement' within her husband's residence.
   • However, while the wife is forbidden from any contact with other men, the husband remains free to engage in sexual relations with his other wives or slave women.

2. The Additional Three-Month Waiting Period ('Iddah):

   • After the Talaq process is completed, the woman must observe 'Iddah—a waiting period of three more menstrual cycles before she can marry someone else.
   • This means she remains in a restricted state for six months in total—facing emotional distress, isolation, and uncertainty about her future.

This prolonged confinement significantly impacts the woman's mental, social, and emotional well-being, further highlighting the gender imbalance in Islamic divorce laws.

Why no Waiting Period for Captive women in the name of 'mourning'?

Moreover:

• Muslim are allowed to drive sexual pleasure from the prisoner virgin girls with ‘penetration’ the same night, without giving them any time to mourn their dead family members.
• And as far as the captive women are concerned, who already have husbands, then penetration in their vaginas is not allowed. But still, Muslims are allowed to undress them and to take all kinds of sexual pleasures with their naked bodies except for penetration.

وقال عطاء لا بأس أن يصيب من جاريته الحامل ما دون الفرج
Atta said: ‘There is no harm to drive sexual pleasure from the body of the pregnant slave/(or prisoner) woman except from vagina’

According to Islamic Scholars, the Fiqh (Jurisprudence) of Imam Bukhari lies in the “Headings of Chapters” of his Book. And Imam Bukhari gave this heading in his book Sahih Bukhari (link):

Chapter: If one buys a slave woman, can he then take her along with him in a journey without her completing her waiting period?

Under this heading, Imam Bukhari writes:

In order to understand the trauma of those captive women due to the killing of their relatives, please see the following tradition.

History of Tabari, Volume 8, Page 112:

Ibn Ishaq said: After the Messenger of God conquered al-Qamus, Safiyyah bint Huyayy was brought to him, and another woman with her. Bilal (a companion), who was the one who brought them, led them past some of the slain Jews. When the woman who was with Safiyyah saw them, she cried out, struck her face, and poured dust on her head. When the Messenger of God saw her, he said, "Take this she-devil away from me!" ... The Messenger of God said to Bilal, when he saw the Jewish woman doing what he saw her do, "Are you devoid of mercy, Bilal, that you take two women past their slain men?"

Thus, there are double standards here:

• On one hand, Islamic apologists claim that Muslim women are not allowed to be wed during 3 periods/months long 'Iddah while she is mentally under stress after the divorce.
• But on the other hand, they deny any such mental stress for the prisoner women and girls, and what to talk about divorce, but even after killing all the men of their family, Muslim men use them as sex object the same night. They are provided with no time to mourn and to get out of their mental stress.

Contrary to Islam, Judaism and Christianity allowed the prisoner women to mourn their relatives for one complete month, during which men were not allowed to take any other sexual services from them.

Bible, Deuteronomy, Chap 21:

Marrying a Captive Woman

(10) When you go to war against your enemies and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives,

(11) if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife.

(12) Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails

(13) and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.

(14) If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her like a slave, since you have dishonored her.

Muhammad rejected the Sharia of Moses in this case, and he followed the laws of the pagan Arab society of that time, as it benefitted him and the Muslims financially and they were free to seek sexual pleasure through the prisoner women the same night.

Conclusion:

Is this the same so-called giving Rights with equity to women in Islam, which Muslims boast about in comparison to the Equal rights of women in the Western world? 

All people with even the slightest intelligence can see that this is not called giving rights with equity to women, but it is oppression against women and Injustice towards them.