Islam vs Adopted Children: How Islam Impacts Their Lives Negatively

Summary:

According to Islam:

• Upon purchase, a male adult slave becomes Mahram to all the wives and daughters of his owner, granting him the privilege to enter and stay in the same house with them without any concern.
• However, in the case of an adopted son, even if he was lovingly cared for and raised by his foster mother from childhood, he does not acquire the status of Mahram after reaching adulthood. As a consequence, it is not permissible for the adopted son and his mother to be alone under one roof, and it would be considered a CRIME to do so.
• Thus, the adopted son should be kicked out of the house as soon as he becomes an adult.

And Islam is even crueller upon the poor adopted orphan daughter. while:

• Islam allows the foster father to look at her with LUST. 
• If she is beautiful, then the foster father is fully allowed by Sharia to forcefully take her into his Nikah, and then he can drive all types of sexual pleasures with her even if she is a baby (Please read our article: Islam: Even a breastfed baby Girl can be married and used for sexual pleasure). Neither Islamic courts, nor the foster mother of that orphan girl, nor society can stop the foster father to use her for his lust. She is put totally at the mercy of her foster father by Islamic Sharia. 
• And not only for her beauty, but a foster father can also forcefully make her into his marriage in order to get his hands on her property and money. This happened during the time of Muhammad when a foster father married his adopted daughter for her property. 

Furthermore, in Islam, the consequences of adoption can be quite severe, not only depriving orphan adopted children of their foster parents but also uprooting them from their entire adopted family. For instance:

An orphan adopted boy not only loses his foster mother but also his foster sisters, and he is forced to leave the house, leaving him without any family support. This situation leaves the orphan boy entirely alone, without a family to call his own.

Similarly, an orphan adopted daughter faces a similar fate, losing not just the care and love of her foster father, but also her foster brothers.

One cannot help but recognize the inherent cruelty and injustice in these Sharia Rulings, which seem to go against the natural bonds of humanity. The implications of such rulings raise concerns about their compatibility with human nature and compassion.

Table of  Contents:

• Summary:
  • The status of one who fosters and raises a child is HIGHER than the one who gives birth to that child
  • Fatwas that an adopted son becomes Na-Mahram upon puberty and should be separated from his mother who raised him
  • Islam snatched away the whole family from an orphan adopted child
  • An Adopted son/daughter will get no share in the inheritance of his/her foster parents
  • Contradiction in Sharia: An adult male slave becomes Mahram to all the wives/daughters of the owner as soon as he is bought from the market
  • The adopted daughter is in danger of being forcefully married by her foster Muslim father if he gets lust for her
  • Islamic Logic: A woman can develop a mother-son bond with even a grown-up male by breastfeeding
  • An excuse from an Islam apologist: Male slave becomes Mahram while the situation NEEDS it

The status of one who fosters and raises a child is HIGHER than the one who gives birth to that child

The role of a foster parent is esteemed higher than that of a biological parent, as it is not about who gave birth to a child but rather about who fosters, loves, and cares for them. A child instinctively seeks comfort and affection from the person who nurtures and supports them.

The significance of fostering can even be observed in the animal kingdom. For instance, if you place the eggs of a hen under a duck, the chicks hatched from those eggs will still consider the duck as their mother, as they witness her caring for them. This bond is formed despite the lack of a biological connection.

Indeed, the status of a foster parent surpasses that of a biological parent. When a foster mother or father lovingly raises a child, a natural parent-child bond develops between them.

Throughout history, every society has recognized and accepted the powerful bond between an adopted child and their foster parents. This bond is also supported by numerous experiments and acknowledged by psychiatrists worldwide.

However, in the context of Islam, this natural bond is denied, and this is a unique aspect of the ideology. The reason behind this denial was the desire of Muhammad for the wife of his adopted son. He became infatuated with his daughter-in-law upon seeing her in a semi-naked state and used revelations to justify denying any bond between adopted children and their foster parents. Consequently, he made it permissible for him to marry his daughter-in-law.

For further details on this matter, you can refer to the article titled:  Role of REVELATION in Muhammad's journey from 4 marriages to 9 marriages 

Fatwas that an adopted son becomes Na-Mahram upon puberty and should be separated from his mother who raised him

Fatwa from Sunni website Islamweb.net:

Question from a mother: Is it a sin if I don't observe hijab in front of my adopted son? I don't want to as it makes him feel like a stranger, and hurts him. Is there any way I can avoid hijab in front of him?

Answer: This boy is considered as a non-Mahram to you. Therefore, if he has reached the age of puberty or nearly so, then you must observe Hijaab in front of him (even if it hurts him), and you are not permitted to be in seclusion with him.

Fatwa from Saudi Salafi Fatwa website: Isalm Q&A:

Question: I am fifteen years old. An Afghan family adopted me when I was six months old ... What are the rulings in my situation?

Answer: ...  The woman who adopted you is a non-mahram to you, and it is not permissible for you to see her, let alone touch her or kiss her when you are not a mahram to her or to her daughters. 

If you wish to understand the severity of this Islamic ruling, take a look at this fatwa (link), where a Muslim mother found herself in tears, refusing to be separated from her adopted son when he reached the age of 12-13 years. However, the relatives insisted on forcibly separating them, and the Muslim Mufti supported their decision, citing it as Allah's command in Islam. According to the reasoning, Allah fears that allowing both Na-Mahrams (the mother and her 12-14 years old adopted son) to stay together under one roof may lead to the Fitna of fornication.

It is crucial to reflect on the tragedy and hardship that this Islamic ruling brought upon the poor mother and her child. The situation exemplifies the difficulties and heartache that can arise due to this particular aspect of Islamic law.

Islam snatched away the whole family from an orphan adopted child

In Islam, an orphan adopted child loses their entire family twice.

• Firstly, when their biological parents pass away and they are given up for adoption.
• Secondly, as they become adults, they are forced to leave the house, and their foster mother and sisters become non-Mahram to them. They find themselves alone once again, without any family.

This fate is challenging for an adopted orphan boy, as upon reaching adulthood, he not only loses his parents but also his entire family, including his sisters.

The situation is even more distressing for an adopted orphan girl. Upon becoming an adult, she loses the love and care of her foster father and brothers, and she must observe Hijab from them as they become non-Mahram to her.

A concerning aspect of this Islamic ruling is that it allows a foster father and foster brothers to look at her with lust from her childhood, as they are permitted to marry her under Islamic Sharia.

Overall, this aspect of Islamic law results in a deeply troubling and difficult situation for orphan adopted children, leaving them without a family support system during critical stages of their lives.

Moreover, Islamic Shariah not only prohibits the adoption of orphans, but it also allows to beat orphans:

Imam Bukhari recorded in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Hadith 142:

Shumaysa al-'Atakiyya said, "The disciplining of orphans was mentioned in the presence of 'A'isha and she said, 'I would beat an orphan until he submits.'"

Grade: Sahih (Albani)

According to Islamic Sharia, an adopted son or daughter will not receive any share in the inheritance of their foster parents

The next law about an adopted son/daughter in Islamic Sharia is:

• An adopted son/daughter will get no share in the inheritance. 
• The estate will be divided into far-related relatives, but it will not be given to the adopted son/daughter. 

Can you imagine that a far-related relative can get the share (or whole inheritance), but an adopted son/daughter, who was loved and cared for as a real son/daughter, then he/she will get nothing from the inheritance? 

Even the pre-Islamic Arab culture (which is blamed to be the time of ignorance), showed much more compassion towards the weakest members of the society (i.e. orphans) and gave them the right to have names of their adopted fathers and also to inherit them. 

Sahih Bukhari, 4000:

Contradiction in Sharia: An adult male slave becomes Mahram to all the wives & daughters of the owner as soon as he is bought from the market

An intriguing contradiction arises in Islamic Sharia:

Unlike an adopted son, an adult male slave becomes Mahram to all the wives and daughters of the owner as soon as he is purchased from the slave market. Instantly, he gains the privilege to stay alone with the owner's wife or daughter under one roof without any need for her to observe Hijab or hide her adornments (Zinah) from him.

This striking contrast in treatment between an adopted son and a male slave raises questions about the consistency and fairness of the rules within Islamic Sharia.

Surah Nur, Verse 24:31:

And say to the believing women (that) they should lower [of] their gaze and they should guard their chastity, and not (to) display their adornment except what is apparent of it. And let them draw their head covers over their bosoms, and not (to) display their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers or fathers (of) their husbands or their sons or sons (of) their husbands or their brothers or sons (of) their brothers or sons (of) their sisters, or their women or what possess their right hands (i.e. slaves) or the attendants having no physical desire among [the] men or [the] children who (are) not aware of private aspects (of) the women. And not let them stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah altogether O believers! So that you may succeed. (Corpus Quran)

Surah Nur, Verse 24:58:

O you who believe! Let ask your permission those whom possess your right hands (i.e. slaves) and those who (have) not reached puberty among you (at) three times, before (the) prayer (of) dawn, and when you put aside your garments at noon and after (the) prayer (of) night. (Corpus Quran)

And also read the following hadith, where Muhammad was telling his daughter Fatima that she didn't need to do Hijab from the male slave.

Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith 4106: 

The Prophet (ﷺ) brought Fatimah a slave which he donated to her. Fatimah wore a garment which, when she covered her head, did not reach her feet, and when she covered her feet by it, that garment did not reach her head. When the Prophet (ﷺ) saw her struggle, he said: There is no harm to you: Here is only your father and slave.
Grade: Sahih (Albani)

On one hand, Islam forbids an adopted son from being alone with his mother, whom he has been raised by and loved as his own since childhood. According to Sharia rules, if they are alone in the house, it is considered a crime, and they must be punished for it. The Prophet of Islam said: “No man is alone with a woman except the third one present is the Shaytaan.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2165); classed as Saheeh by al-Albaani.

However, on the other hand, Islam permits an adult male slave to be Mahram to all the wives and daughters of his owner immediately after he is bought from the slave market. He can stay alone with the owner's wife or daughter in the same house, without the need for her to observe Hijab or hide her adornments (Zinah) from him.

Are you able to see this huge contradiction in Islam? 

Contradiction in Sharia: Comparing the Wife to the Mother Orally immediately makes her Haram

On one side, if a foster mother calls an orphan child her son his whole life, then Islam says there is no value of such Oral Calling, and the adopted son should leave the house after becoming an adult. 

But on the other hand, if a husband orally says to his wife that she resembles his mother (or if her back resembles his mother's back), then the wife becomes immediately HARAM for him due to this oral sentence. 

During the era of ignorance in Arab society, there was a peculiar custom known as Zihar (ظھار). If a man, in a fit of anger or unintentionally, compared his wife to his mother or her back to his mother's back, it was considered grounds for separation, akin to a divorce. When Islam emerged, it continued to endorse this foolish tradition of Zihar and it is still valid till today in Islamic Sharia. Yes, even today, if any Muslim compares his wife to his mother, then it is like a DIVORCE and they become non-Mahram, they cannot stay under one roof, and they must be separated. If they want to reunite, then they have to free slaves or to fast for two months. Please read all details here:

• Zihar (Another unjust Islamic way to Divorce a woman)

On the other hand, an adopted child calls a woman his mother his whole life, but it does not matter for Islam. 

The adopted daughter is in danger of being forcefully married by her foster Muslim father if he lusts for her

According to human nature, every minor child girl needs the selfless love and care of a father.

But what Muhammad did, is as follow:

• Muhammad first destroyed the sacred bond between the adopted child and the parents and allowed marriage between them. 
• By doing so, Islam made an adopted daughter a sex object in the eyes of the foster father (and also foster brothers) right from the very first day. 
• If the adopted daughter is beautiful or wealthy, then the foster father can forcefully take her into his Nikah, and neither any Islamic court nor the foster mother can stop him from doing so. 

As a result of these Sharia Rulings, Muhammad's companions began to exploit them, using them as a means to forcefully marry their adopted daughters for reasons like beauty and wealth.

When Muhammad became aware of this misuse, he found himself unable to prevent the men from engaging in such practices. This was due to the fact that he himself had established these two Sharia Rulings primarily to serve his personal interests:

1. Muhammad married 'Aisha when she was still a minor, and her father Abu Bakr did not need to seek her consent before marrying her off to Muhammad.
2. Muhammad declared the bond with adopted children as void, and he went on to marry Zainab, who happened to be his daughter-in-law and the wife of his adopted son.

This created a situation where Muhammad could not openly prohibit the misuse of minor adopted daughters by his companions. At best, he merely issued a 'recommendation' in the name of revelation, stating that if men fear not dealing justly with their orphan daughters, they could marry up to four other women. This, however, did not adequately address the underlying issue.

Let us look at the following verse:

Quran 4:3:
And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls (i.e. their adopted daughters), then marry those that please you of other women, two or three or four.

Why was Muhammad forced to claim the revelation of this verse?

The following tradition of ‘Aisha makes it clear:

Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5064:
('Urwa narrated from ‘Aisha that she said about this verse 4:3) "O my nephew! (This Verse has been revealed in connection with) an orphan girl under the guardianship of her guardian who is attracted by her wealth and beauty and intends to marry her with a Mahr (i.e. money for dowry) less than what other women of her standard deserve. So they (such guardians) have been forbidden to marry them unless they do justice to them and give them their full Mahr (i.e.  the foster fathers can still marry them forcefully for their wealth and beauty, but they only have to give full Mahr (i.e. Dowry) to them too).

Do you know that according to Islamic Sharia:

• Even a breastfed small baby girl can be married, and her husband can undress her, and take every kind of sexual pleasure with her naked body (like kissing her naked body and rubbing his penis in her thighs to ejaculate. 
• As far as penetration in the vagina is concerned, the husband has to decide when the minor girl is strong enough to bear the penetration. It may be at 5 or 6 or 7 or 8 years. And if the husband makes a mistake and harms the minor girl by penetrating her vagina, still he has committed no sin or crime.

It is the Quran that directly says that even a minor girl (under the age of 9) can be married and penetrated.

(Quran 65:4) And if you are in doubt about those of your women who have despaired of menstruation, (you should know that) their waiting period is three months, and the same applies to those (minor girls) who have not menstruated as yet.

They may not have menstruated as yet either because of young age, or delayed menstrual discharge as it happens in the case of some women, the waiting-period of such a woman is the same as of the woman, who has stopped menstruation, that is three months from the time divorce was pronounced.
Here, one should bear in mind the fact that according to the explanations given in the Qur'an the question of the waiting period arises in respect of the women with whom marriage may have been consummated, for there is no waiting-period in case divorce is pronounced before the consummation of marriage. (Al-Ahzab: 49). Therefore, making mention of the waiting-period for the girls who have not yet menstruated, clearly proves that it is not only permissible to give away the girl in marriage at this age but it is also permssible for the husband to consummate marriage with her. Now, obviously no Muslim has the right to forbid a thing which the Qur'an has held as permissible.

Sahih Bukhari, Book of Marriage (link):
باب إِنْكَاحِ الرَّجُلِ وَلَدَهُ الصِّغَارَ
A man can give his minor daughter in marriage 
لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى: {وَاللاَّئِي لَمْ يَحِضْنَ} فَجَعَلَ عِدَّتَهَا ثَلاَثَةَ أَشْهُرٍ قَبْلَ الْبُلُوغِ.
Allah said (in Quran 65:4): ... and for those minor girls who didn't start menstruating. This means their waiting period is 3 months
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم تَزَوَّجَهَا وَهْىَ بِنْتُ سِتِّ سِنِينَ، وَأُدْخِلَتْ عَلَيْهِ وَهْىَ بِنْتُ تِسْعٍ، وَمَكَثَتْ عِنْدَهُ تِسْعًا‏.‏
Narrated `Aisha:
that the Prophet (ﷺ) married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old (and yet not menstruating), and then she remained with him for nine years (i.e., till his death).

" يجوز تزويج الصغيرة بالكبير إجماعا ولو كانت في المهد"
It is unanimous (Ijma) that an adult man can marry any minor girl, even if she is so small that she is in a cradle. 

For more details, please read our detailed article: Islam: Even a breastfed baby Girl can be married and used for sexual pleasure

Islamic Logic: A woman can develop a mother-son bond with even a grown-up male by breastfeeding him

Islam's logic is a woman can establish a mother-son bond with a grown-up male by breastfeeding him only five times, implying that a significant emotional connection can form through this act.

However, on the other hand, Islam denies the possibility of any mother-son bond developing between a foster mother and her adopted son, even if she has been caring for him since his childhood. Despite the years of love and nurturing, this relationship is not recognized in the same way as the breastfeeding scenario.

Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1453a:

The human rationale makes it evident that Muhammad's ruling is flawed and unreasonable, while:

• If a woman breastfed a grown-up male man with a moustache and beard, then a mother-son bond will not develop, but only the bond of LUST and SEX can develop. 
• While it is possible for a relationship of respect to exist between a woman and a grown-up man, breastfeeding would be the most inappropriate method to achieve this purpose. Instead, natural relationships, like a sister/mother bond, can form between individuals through care and nurturing without the need for such actions.

For instance, in many Muslim families living in a joint family system in countries like India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, there is a relationship of respect between a man and the wife of his elder brother, showcasing that this kind of bond can develop without resorting to breastfeeding.

Even in the case of a small child being breastfed only five times, the likelihood of a strong mother-child bond developing is minimal. If a child forgets this action due to their young age, it is evident that the proposed bond would never materialize.

PS:

Some Islam apologists claim that the act of breastfeeding Sahla performed for the grown-up man was through a cup, not directly from the breast. However, this assertion seems ridiculous, as Muhammad's laughter in response to the incident and Sahla's hesitation in suckling him indicate that the situation was indeed about direct breastfeeding.

An excuse from an Islam apologist: Male slave becomes Mahram while the situation NEEDS it

An Islam apologist wrote:

If women in the house are asked to do Hijab from the male slave, and if he is not considered a Mahram to the wife and daughters of his owner, then it will become impossible to take his services at home. Therefore, a male slave is declared as Mahram in Islam so that he could freely work inside the house. But no such need exists for an adopted son, as he is not required to perform household duties.

Response:

The word "Need" is only a deception here. Actually, it was the Contradictions in Sharia which compelled it to declare a male slave Mahram to all women in the house as soon as he was purchased. 

Why can Muslims not understand the simple fact that this whole issue of the Hijab is Unnatural? This Hijab had been introduced (prior to Islam) in ancient Mesopotamia and in the Byzantine, Greek, and Persian empires in order to show the higher status of free women as compared to slave women (link). And Muhammad copied this practice from these old civilizations. 

If the question was only about the "Need", then does Allah think a woman loses the Need of her desire to have a child upon his becoming an adult, after raising and loving him for the whole of his life? Or does Allah think that the child does not need the love and care of his foster mother after becoming an adult? Actually, the poor child is not only losing his mother but his whole family including his foster father and foster sisters/brothers.

 If Allah truly believes that a son develops a lust for his foster mother upon becoming an adult, causing the mother-child bond to vanish, while a male slave can become a guard for all women in the house without any lust, it raises serious doubts about Allah's wisdom and understanding of human nature.